Have you ever played Carcassonne? He was so excited about it. I tried to be. Try to be. About board games on these dark shiny table-tops we have been placing our things on. Slow, repetitive stories. We played twice while filling our mouths with truffle chunks and dripping chocolate ice cream. Maybe that's what did it. The ice cream set in ( Read more... )

Sitting on a bar stool. No room for my legs. Things would be different in the southern hemisphere. Everything would be different. The pencil would swing the other way and you'd face me. When you speak. But your legs fit here. And the rest of you ( Read more... )

Every day I am closer and closer to living in a Victorian mansion in a 'bad part' of Minneapolis. I think I received photographs with a dropped jaw. And then became immediately nervous because it seems like such a good thing and good things don't seem to happen here. And with each bit a little bit more nervous and with each bit a little bit just ( Read more... )

I wanted stability and then ran from the most stable thing I new. I detested distance and ran further than I've ever ran before.

And to answer "why" only one response remains. The alignment of perception and reality. When things don't feel stable, create instability. When things seem far, make them further ( Read more... )

Blame the weather, hormones, exhaustion, time changes, the size of the room, the food you ate, the company you keep. Blame the booze, the pain you woke up with, the nightmare you can't wake up from. Blame the listlessness, the idleness, the paint. The calendar, and fate, and the happiness of others. Blame the perpetually icy sidewalks. Blame ( Read more... )

Spend the day putting a jigsaw puzzle together, all the pieces the same color. There's no other way to do this. The circulatory system, blood vessels, and electrical waves call me from counter and seat tops, but I can't wrap myself around it. I am feeling sluggish and vague. 24 hours later I want to go back and finish the job. Perhaps to say I ( Read more... )

I have been back for a week and every night since I have dreamed of traveling. When away, I was excited to be done traveling. To dig in my roots again, maybe longer, because it is never long. But now I feel stuck, slow and sleepy. And I dream of distant places and I wake up cold. It may be the coldest day of the year. The wind makes it 40 ( Read more... )

Move with it, through it, bypass it. Stop it. Ignore it ( Read more... )

My resiliency is not what it once was. The music hardly helps. It gets darker and I get more lonely, impenetrable. They tell me that it doesn't have to be like this, but in a backhanded betrayal they show me that it is much worse. In the next instance they will tell me that I really am all alone. Again, the story of the ghost. And if I don't ( Read more... )

He fed me a truth serum, spun me in circles and said "Now. What do you see?" And I told him that I can see all of their lungs and all of their lungs are black. Smoker lungs. So I knit some smoker-mittens for the only real non-smoker I know. And I tell him that in this town of umpty-thousand, there are umpty-thousand ghosts. Or maybe I am the ( Read more... )