(no subject)
'F' for effort
alright, to update everyone on my suck-ass life.. my car has been temporarily fixed, i have to save up for a new car.. i have to get one by february because my van wont pass inspection, and it gets inspected in feb. i don't have money to buy a car, even if my brother can get me a deal at his dealership, i can't afford jackshit..i haven't heard from melissa since she moved, it really sucks, i miss her. the oktoberfest was awesome, i enjoyed it, and it helped me relax. it also helped me break the ice with crystal and kim who i think are really cool, and hope to become better friends with. my dad canceled our cruise. we were supposed to leave a couple days after christmas. why did he cancel it? yeah, he felt that visiting pennsylvania 3 times a year isn't enough, he wants to cancel the cruise to go there (hicks-ville usa) instead. he's such a fuckin mama's boy. i love my grandmother to death and all.. but seriously.. cruise vs. gramma, i definitely pick cruise. especially since my dad has been dangling the idea of a cruise in my face for years and we see gramma all he fuckin time. we keep canceling every year to go somewhere else. pissing me off. oh yeah, and my boss called me, asking me to come back to work, so i start next tuesday or thursday. its going to really suck because i have to work mornings and you know what that means? it means i have to deal with the reason i left... fuckin bi-polar bitch..
not to mention i don't have any friends around here, so i'm constantly in search of something to do, which usually results in sleeping or going home. i'm such a fuckin loser it's unbelievable.
and just when i thought things couldn't get worse, they definitely did. the love of my my life, my cat, is sick. she's been in the hospital for 3 days, and hasn't eaten in 5 days. she's lost 4lbs, and the vet can't tell whats wrong. 4lbs doesn't sound like a lot, but for a cat it's dangerous. i think there's some type of infection in her mouth or something because her lip looks swollen, my mom thinks she got hit by a car. i dunno, all i know, is if she loses another pound, or doesn't eat by tomorrow, we have to put her down, because she is just suffering, and there's nothing else we can do, or at least that's what the vet said. my heart is totally broken. i thought it was sad enough that my dog is dying, but she's MY cat. she's my baby! and i will seriously shatter if she dies. a lot of people don't understand what it feels like for me, because people either don't have a cat or hate cats. i am so attached to my cat, and love her SO much. i know part of adopting an animal is excepting the fact that one day, they will die... but right now, with the way things are going, i just can't handle it. i'm really starting to tumble into depression. i'd hate to call it depression, i'm not slitting my wrists, nor am i thinking of it, but i'm constantly feeling in despair.. nothing seems to be looking up for me.