(Untitled)

[ladrion]

Step into the light

Comments

[kyrathemuffin]

it makes sense to me, just takes a couple of reading-overs....but of course I probably interpret it differently from what was meant.

I like it though.

[rabidsablefox]

i think it's good, just reading it aloud, there's some pacing issues that i have, just in the way it feels like it should go from word to word, but other than that, i like it

[ladrion]

yeah, re-reading it i can see some pacing issues for a few lines.

[nekonyanko]

I like the repeated line "step towards me"...It's very powerful.

Excellent job my dear.