Tell me where we go from here 9/?
Chapter 9
Dean left the library and went to the kitchen in search for breakfast.
Great, he thought. Now Sam's pushing.
It was none of Sam's business where Cas slept or what they did or did not in bed. Or anywhere else.
However, Sam was right that the main reason Cas had his own room was in fact Sam. Back then Dean hadn't been sure how his brother would react and he had wanted to play it safe for a while. Sharing a bed with Cas at the motel had been nice, Dean couldn't deny that, and he would love to have him next to him every night. Maybe he should just ask Cas to come over tonight, Dean thought. Maybe they could try something more than a quick handjob. But one thing was holding him back.
There was something off in Cas' behavior. Dean didn't get the vibe that Cas was ready for more. He couldn't put his finger on it but except for that one blunt offer to have sex with him, Cas had never initiated anything. Anything that was more than cuddling and kissing, Cas was all for cuddling and kissing. More for the cuddling part, though, he didn't seem to be able to keep his hands off Dean. Not that he really tried to keep his hands to himself. But that was it, so far Cas had never indicated that he was in for more just yet.
Sure, he had jacked Dean off the other night but that had been for Dean's pleasure only. As far as he could remember, and he was a little fuzzy about the details here, Cas hadn't gotten anything out of it.
But it was not only Cas. Dean himself wasn't sure if he was ready to take the next step. Not because he didn't want to. He wanted it too much.
He wanted to grab Cas, pin him down and just take him. Rough and dirty and quick. It was the Mark, he knew that.
Thoughts like this weren't new to him, they'd always been there, but with him becoming a demon he'd lost his boundaries and he hadn't gotten them all back when he'd turned human again.
Take what you want, had been his creed back then and the Mark was still whispering the same words to him. It was tempting, though, so tempting. He wanted to feel Cas under him, wanted to bite him until he tasted blood, wanted to put his own mark on him, making him his.
He couldn't do that. He couldn't do that to Cas.
Cas strolled into the kitchen right when Dean had the scrambled eggs and the bacon ready. Dean fixed them two plates and then they sat down to eat. Before he dug in Dean leaned over and placed a kiss on Cas' lips who hummed in response with his eyes closed.
Dean grinned and turned his attention to the plate in front of him.
"How did you sleep?" He asked.
"I couldn't sleep so I got up and did some research on the internet." Cas told him between bits of scrambled eggs.
"Found something?"
"Are you more a top or a bottom?" Cas asked and reached for a stripe of bacon.
Dean choked on his eggs. Coughing and spitting he fought for air while the question rang in his ears.
"What?" He finally managed to ask between wheezing breaths.
"Are you more a top or a bottom?" Cas repeated his question, his eyes now on Dean as if he tried to figure out what was going on. Then he seemed to remember the bacon in his hand and took a bite.
"You do know that Sam is right around the corner, right?" Dean hissed because talking to Cas about stuff like this was embarrassing enough but with Sam in earshot? No. Just no.
"What kind of question is that anyway?" At least Cas seemed to know what he was asking so Dean didn't have to start with the birds and the bees like he'd feared. And bee metaphors around Cas? He should be careful with that. He didn't want to repeat that one incident with Cas showing up on his car, naked, covered in bees. He could go with naked Cas bent over the hood of his car, a lascivious smile crept on his lips, but bees? That was where he drew the line.
"I tried to understand the dynamics of a gay relationship and Sam said …" Cas continued while Dean was still trying to get the image out of his head and to focus on what Cas was saying.
"Sam said?" Dean interrupted. "You have talked to Sam about this?"
"He came in when I did my research ..."
"Do I want to know what kind of research you were doing?" Dean thought in horror of the possibilities here. Sam hadn't said a word earlier but that didn't mean anything.
"I was watching some very educating clips when he interrupted me." Cas confirmed Dean's wildest imagination. Okay, knowing Cas it wasn't that wild. He would watch everything just because it was there. And he had a hunger for everything human.
"And that led you to this question?" Dean made the circle back the the initial question.
"I wanted to be prepared." Cas said quietly, now looking down in shame. "This is new to me."
"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean sighed. Sometimes he forgot how different Cas was. By now he blended in quite well but he was an angel, he would never fully understand humans. He had more of an insight than his fellow angels but he would never really understand.
"That's why I don't want to rush things, we have time to figure this out." Dean smiled at him and now Cas smiled back.
"So." Cas drew out the word. "Would you rather like to top or to bottom?"
Dean sighed. "We need to talk about stuff like this, I get that, but I am not doing that with Sam probably hiding around the corner." He raised his voice at the last part, just in case his brother was indeed within earshot.
"He left rather abruptly when I asked the question the first time." Cas admitted sheepishly.
Dean stared at him for a second before he burst out laughing.
Over the day Dean didn't see much of Cas. His angel and his brother were huddling up in the library all day to find a solution for their piling problems. Mainly Cas' grace and the Mark of Cain but there was other stuff, that needed attention, too. Heaven was still closed for construction and the souls were stuck in the veil. That wasn't on top of Dean's to do list and they would get to that problem rather later than sooner but it was something on Cas' mind. As well as the order in heaven in general. As far as Dean knew Cas hadn't heard from Hannah in days which in his book counted as good news. He didn't really like the angel but if he was honest he didn't know her beyond the fact that she had made Cas choose between him and his army. From a strategist's point of view Dean understood where she was coming from but on a personal level it wasn't exactly trust building. However, she was a competent leader and when she didn't come running to get their help, okay, Cas' help, things were more or less fine in heaven.
Dean would have liked to spent the day with Cas, not that he would ever admit that, but when he saw how Cas and Sam sat in the library, heads stuck together and discussing quietly over some books, he didn't mind being left out. Research wasn't really his thing and as long as he didn't have to do it, he was fine with sticking it to Sam.
He did get the feeling that Cas was avoiding him, though. After their little chat over breakfast it wasn't that surprising and Dean didn't think much of it.
Sam was still recovering from his injuries, his face hadn't returned to its usual color or even shape yet, so after dinner he turned in early.
"Just you and me now." Dean said and offered Cas a beer. "Anything you have in mind for the evening?"
Cas took the beer but put it on the table immediately. Then his mouth was on Dean's and his hand was cupping Dean's head and the beer in his own hand was forgotten. They kissed for a moment, bodies flush together, and Dean felt the heat building up.
They parted only far enough to look each other in the eye.
"You want to move this over to the bed?" Dean asked. He was sick of waiting. He wanted Cas. Now.
"Yes." Cas nodded eagerly and brought their lips back together. He opened his mouth willingly for Dean to explore and it took them several minutes to make the short distance to Dean's room.
By then their hands had sneaked under the layers of shirts and Dean felt the soft skin of Cas' hip just above the waistband of his pants under his fingers. Spreading his hand on the small of Cas' back he pressed him closer to him, bringing their groins together. Dean was rock hard by now and he felt an equally hard line on Cas' side of too much fabric between them.
"How do you want to do this?" Dean breathed into Cas' mouth. This was Cas' first time with a man and he wanted to let Cas take the lead.
"I don't know." Cas admitted. He had his hands down the back of Dean's jeans, skin on skin, kneading the muscles of his butt.
"We'll go slow." Dean promised and reached for Cas' fly. "Step by step, we can stop whenever you want." For some reason he felt the need to emphasize that part. If this was too much, too soon he wanted Cas to know that they didn't have to do this. And at the same time he fought against the urge to just rip his clothes off and bent him over.
Piece by piece they undressed each other and then they lay down on the bed, naked with tangled legs and roaming hands. They never broke the kiss for longer than a few seconds and Dean thought he could just come from this. Cas' lips and hands on him, their hard cocks trapped between their heated bodies, damn this was good.
"There's lube in the nightstand." Dean said and reached for the drawer blindly. There were condoms in there too but he wouldn't need those. He knew he was clean and he doubted that angels could get or pass on STD anyway.
With the bottle in hand Dean propped himself up on his elbows and just looked down on Cas for a moment. His lips were plush from the kissing, his pupils blown wide and he just looked adorable.
"Can I fuck you?" Dean asked quietly. So far Cas hadn't shown any intention in either direction so Dean figured it would be best to go with what he enjoyed the most because with that he had the most experience and he knew he could make it good for Cas.
Cas' eyes went wider and he jerked his head in a nod. Dean kissed him again.
"This is cold." Dean warned him when he brought his lubed finger to Cas' entrance. Like expected Cas flinched at the feeling but then relaxed when Dean gently tapped the wrinkled skin and circled the entrance without breaching the muscle.
"I'm going slow." Dean promised and let his fingertip slip in. Cas lay very still under him and for a moment Dean thought he wasn't doing it right. "This okay?"
"Keep going." Cas craned his neck to give Dean a peck on the lips.
Working his finger farther in Dean found Cas' sweet spot and now he knew he was doing it right. He watched in awe when Cas started to pant and writhe under his attention.
"Dean ... Dean." Cas threw his head from one side to the other and Dean felt comfortable enough to add a second finger. Taking his sweet time Dean tapped and circled Cas' prostate just to watch him falling apart.
"Dean!" Cas screamed and arched his back, his rock hard cock spurting ropes of come without a touch.
"I got you. Shh, I got you." Dean whispered in his ear but kept stroking Cas' insides until he fell back into the pillow. God, he looked so fucked out, Dean couldn't take his eyes off him.
Searching for his own release, Dean let go of Cas and reached for his own arching erection but Cas stopped him.
"Put it in." He said, his voice deeper and more husk than usual. "I want to feel you inside me."
Dean obliged. Cas was open and just waiting for him, it was amazing how easily Cas took him, and after only a few shallow thrusts into the tight heat around him Dean tumbled over the edge.
Chapter 10
Masterpost