Tell me where we go from here 23/?
Chapter 23
"You think this is a good idea?" Dean hissed, pacing up and down the hallway in front of Claire's apartment. Sam was leaning stoically against the wall, not showing concern in the slightest.
"Because I don't think this is a good idea." Dean said when his pacing brought him back to his brother. Sam just glared at him.
It was the only idea they had, good or bad, they had to go with it.
"What's taking them so long anyway?" Dean muttered. Cas had been in there for several minutes now. What could they possibly talk about that took so long? How much time did she need to decide if she wanted to let Castiel die or not.
Okay, they didn't know if there was even enough grace in Claire left for the spell to locate the rest of Cas' grace. Or if Metatron had told the truth and there was some of Cas' grace left out there to find. And even if so, was there enough left for Cas to survive?
Dean didn't care if Cas came out full angel or full human or anything in between as long as Cas came out alive. Dean wouldn't hesitate and hunt down angels to supply Cas with grace if that was what it took to keep him alive, and he couldn't even blame the Mark for that thought, but he knew that Cas wouldn't want that.
Go in there and make her cooperate, a small voice in the back of his mind whispered and that was the Mark talking, he knew that. Tie her down and take what you need.
He could do that. He was bigger and stronger and meaner. And he had a gun. He could stroll in and finish this here and now. And God, was that tempting. Partly it was the Mark but not all. He'd seen this part of himself in Hell, in Purgatory, he had this dark side, he knew that, had known for a long time.
He made a turn and paced back down the hallway, back to his brother. With his eyes on Sam the dark thoughts weren't that urgent anymore. He still wanted to do it but now he knew he wouldn't. A little smile ghosted over his face and he wondered if he had the same effect on Sam, if he was his consciousness. It was a nice thought but he doubted it. Sam had more of a consciousness than it was good for him some times.
"As long as they're talking." Sam said with a little shrug. "I take it as a good sign."
Dean gave him a doubtful look and walked past him, farther down the hallway before he reached the door to the stairs and had to turn. A part of him waited for Sam to snap and to tell him to park his ass somewhere. At least that would take his mind off the things going on behind the door he was passing now. He had tried to listen at it but he couldn't hear a thing.
"This is tough for her." Sam said and pushed himself off the wall. "Can you imagine what it feels like to loose your father like this only to see someone wearing his face years later? Asking you to save his life?"
They had lost their own father under bad circumstances and a part of Dean still hated the man for sacrificing his own life, his place in heaven, to save him. But this was a level of fucked up they hadn't reached. Yet. With their life he was never sure what fucked up thing would happen next.
"You saw her." Dean came to a halt next to his brother. "She's strong and she knows what's right and what's wrong. She'll make the right decision." This was total bullshit, he knew squat about the young woman holding Cas' life in her hands. He could only hope for the best.
And if he was honest, he didn't know what he would do if she said no. Come back during the night and make her? It was possible and he hated himself for even thinking about it.
Finally the door opened and Cas stepped out.
"And?" Sam and Dean were right in his face the same second.
"I think there is enough of my grace in her for the spell." He told them the unimportant bit.
"Is she going to help us?" Dean prompted him to tell the more important part.
"Yes."
Dean felt something loosen inside his stomach and he breathed easier. For some reason he pictured the Mark as something with hooks and chains, clawing its way deeper into his mind. But with that one word it backed off. At least for the moment.
"She wants you to come back in." Cas turned around and they followed him back to the living room.
Claire sat on the couch, dried tears on her face and a tissue clutched in her hand. Whatever they'd talked about, it had been emotional. When the three men came back in she hurried to wipe her face one last time, which did nothing to hide the puffy eyes and red nose, but Dean pretended he didn't notice.
"So." She cleared her throat. "How are we going to do this?" She sat up straighter, a challenging eye on them. Her eyes were red from crying but there was steel in the glance she gave them.
"We can do it right now." Sam offered. "We have everything we need in the car."
She nodded to that and Sam hurried out of the room to get the things he would need. Dean hadn't been with them when Cas had extracted the traces of Gadreel's grace from his brother and he had to say that he was curious. However, it wasn't a pleasant procedure, he knew that. Things like this were never pleasant.
The way Claire kneaded the tissue in her hand she knew that but she was still willing to carry through with this.
"When this is over, I don't want to see you ever again." She said and made eye contact with Cas.
"Of course." He agreed.
"And I don't want you to do it." That was directed at Cas as well.
"Sam's going to do it." Dean hurried to say. He got that she didn't want Cas to touch her, to come near her, and for sure she didn't want the thing wearing her dead father's face sticking a needle into her. He got that.
She looked over to him as if she only now remembered that she wasn't alone with Cas anymore. She chewed her bottom lip and for a second it looked like she wanted to say something but in the end she just sat there quietly while they waited for Sam to return.
At least they had everything with them so they could get out of Claire's hair soon and maybe she could finally leave this chapter of her life behind. Dean wondered where the mother was, he couldn't even remember her name. How did she cope? How did she feel when Cas went on his power trip to establish himself as the new god? Most of the stuff happening in their world didn't make big news. That one did.
He knew how it felt to see a familiar face, not only Cas', his own and Sam's as well on the news, but at least he'd always known what was going on. Claire and her mother had been totally clueless.
Thinking about it, she took all this pretty well.
Sam was back a minute later.
"You want to lay down for this?" He asked gently but his words lost the soothing effect when he pulled out a big ass syringe with an even bigger needle. Dean had seen it before, when Sam had packed everything they would need for this and the spell afterwards, but now he saw it with Claire's eyes. It was a wonder that she didn't faint or kick them out at that sight.
She just swallowed thickly with big eyes on the needle.
"Okay." She said hoarsely and then stretched out on the couch. Sam smiled at her and assured her that everything would be fine. It was a lie, nothing would ever be fine, not in their world, Dean knew that, but it helped to relax Claire and that was all that counted. And who knew, maybe she could still get out. He didn't know what kind of life she was living here. Was she a student at collage? Or was she just getting by with a job as a waitress or something? For all he knew she could be a hunter.
Dean jerked his head to indicate to Cas to follow him. It was probably better if Sam handled this on his own.
"Let's step outside for a moment." Dean said in a low voice while in the background Sam explained to Claire what he was about to do.
With one last look at Claire on the couch and Sam kneeling next to it, he and Cas left the room. The apartment wasn't big enough to give them some privacy so they stepped out in the hallway again.
"How long is this going to take?" Dean asked, already annoyed by this.
"As long as it takes." Came Cas' stoic answer. He stood there in the middle of the hallway, ready to stay like that for as long as it took. Dean glared at him and considered pacing again but he forced himself to stay at Cas' side.
"With any luck we'll know where your grace is in a few hours." He said just to fill the silence. There were a lot of ifs in that statement, they both knew that, but Dean needed to be optimistic here. They would find Cas' grace and there would be enough left to keep him alive. There was just no other option.
Cas didn't answer, there was nothing to say to that, and so they waited in silence for the next few minutes.
At one point he thought he heard a scream, bitten back and muffled, and that didn't help to calm his nerves. What if Sam was torturing this young woman for nothing? What if there was just not enough left for the spell? Dean didn't know how much they needed exactly. He only knew that Sam had almost died during this and in the end it hadn't been enough.
"It had been under different circumstances." Cas said out of the blue, unreadable eyes on Dean.
"What?"
"When I extracted Gadreel's grace from Sam." Cas clarified. "It has been under completely different circumstances."
Dean nodded to that, not sure if it was a good or a bad thing.
After what seemed like an eternity the door opened and Sam came out, something wrapped in a piece of cloth in his hand. The syringe, Dean guessed but couldn't make out if it was full or not. Not that he had any idea how full it needed to be. Was half-full enough?
"You got it?" Dean asked while at the same time Cas asked: "How is she?"
Sam looked from one to the other and in the last half an hour he'd grown some impressive bags under his eyes. It hadn't been easy on him either, Dean realized. Of course Sam remembered being the one at the other end of the needle which hadn't made it easier for him.
"She's sleeping now." Sam said with a sigh and started walking towards the stairs. After a quick glance around to make sure that they were alone, he unwrapped the syringe to show it to them. It was filled with the angelic light Dean associated with an angel's grace. He hated that stuff.
This didn't look different, swirling light in a glass cylinder, but it was different. This was Cas. Not just something belonging to him, this was a piece of his very existence. The closest thing to a soul an angel could have and Sam carried a tiny bit of it around in a syringe.
It felt wrong. Dean wanted to smash it, to set it free and give it back to Cas but he couldn't do that. They needed it for the spell to locate the rest of it.
They were about to destroy a piece of Cas and he didn't like it one bit.
Chapter 24
Masterpost