Human is Just a Word 26/?
Chapter 26
When Derek saw Stiles' name on the display of his phone he thought that things at school had escalated for real now. He picked up with a bad feeling in his stomach but that changed rather quickly when Stiles told him that he would stay at Sean's for some homework after school.
Derek ended the call with a relieved feeling, looked like things between Stiles and his friend did work out after all. He just hoped that this attempt didn't end in a disaster like the first one.
When Stiles came home later that evening Derek was busy with work but he had a close eye on Stiles, searching for any indication on how the afternoon had gone.
"Did you get some things done?" He asked when Stiles dropped down in the chair across from him.
"Yeah." Was the clipped answer.
"Did something happen?" Derek closed his laptop to give Stiles his full attention.
"Not really. I just had to explain to him how I became part of your pack without too many details." He let out a sigh.
"And that's a problem to you?" Derek raised an eyebrow at him. Usually Stiles talked in circles around a topic until the other person had forgotten the initial question without giving away any information he didn't want to give away. Derek still wasn't sure if that was funny or annoying. Especially since Stiles liked to do it with trivial stuff as well. Poor Isaac probably still dreamed about Viking craftsmanship when all he had wanted to know was if Stiles had ever played Lacrosse at his old school.
"I don't want to lie to him." Stiles admitted. "But the truth is kind of hard to explain."
Derek thought about that night, he wasn't surprised that it still bothered Stiles.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Derek offered. "Not with me." He hurried to add. "Somebody else. They say it helps."
He had no idea how often he'd heard those words after the fire and maybe it would have been a good idea to talk to somebody about it but he hadn't.
"Dude." Stiles' attention snapped to him and he narrowed his eyes on him. "I don't need a therapist. Granted, the circumstances were shitty but that has been the best sex I ever had. I never intended to join a pack and I would love to live with my dad, that's true." He paused, searching for the right words.
"It was your first time." Derek reminded him. Neither of them had wanted it and Stiles had just said how much he didn't want to be in the pack, how much he didn't want to be with Derek. He clenched his jaw. What he had done to Stiles wasn't fair and what was happening at school now was just the cherry on top of a pile of crap.
"But." Stiles emphasized the word, drawing Derek out of his thoughts. "I like it here. I like the pack and I like living with you. Sure, it isn't what I expected but it's okay. It's more than okay."
Derek listened to his words and his heartbeat and both were telling him the same. Stiles meant what he said.
"I know you still blame yourself for what happened that night." Stiles stood up and was now standing right next to him. "Don't. Just don't."
Suddenly Stiles wrapped his arms around him and buried his nose in Derek's neck. From another werewolf this would be comforting and reassuring but Stiles wasn't a werewolf. He was human and humans didn't act like this.
Derek didn't know what to do so he didn't do anything. He just sat there and let Stiles hug him.
"Sean has opened my eyes a bit." Stiles said into the crook of his neck. "I've been shitty to you, assuming the worst without even knowing you. I'm sorry."
Derek still didn't know what to say. He grabbed Stiles' arm, which was clenched tightly across his chest, with both hands and leaned sideways into his body.
"I don't want to sleep alone tonight." Stiles whispered.
"You don't have to."
Right after dinner Derek changed into fur and they spend the evening in the den with Stiles lying half on top of Derek. They fell asleep like that as well. Who was comforting whom, Derek didn't know.
The next week went by without any more crises. Most of the time Stiles came home right after school and either went straight up to his room to do his homework and whatever he did on his laptop or when he didn't want to be alone, he came downstairs with his stuff and set up his work place at the coffee table. Then they both worked in comfortable silence. As silent as Stiles could be. Who argued with their textbook?
Stiles did the cooking and over dinner he usually opened up a bit. He ranted about how Mr. Miller kept ignoring him but that was still a better treatment than he got from some students. Nothing big, Stiles was part of a werewolf pack after all, but a push here, a whispered word there. It added up and it was eating at Stiles, Derek could tell but he didn't know what to do about it.
"Mrs. Hanson wants to see me again tomorrow." Stiles said, poking the innocent carrot on his plate with his fork as if it had personally offended him.
Derek looked up from his plate, slowly chewing the bit in his mouth.
"She's convinced that you're taking advantage of me." He said in clear disgust. Derek wasn't sure if that was directed at the advantage part or the idea of having sex with Derek in general. "Even if you were what does she think she can do about it? Because, you know, I couldn't just leave you even if I wanted to, so really, what's the point? Just so that she can say that she's right?"
"She's concerned." Derek offered.
"She just wants to prove something here." Stiles corrected, stabbing one of the larger pieces of his carrot. He put it in his mouth and started to chew angrily on it. "You're a werewolf so you have to be a bad influence. I thought people here were better than in Beacon Hills."
"They are." Derek said. "But it's always easier to be supportive if something is not right in front of you."
They ate in silence for a moment but Derek could tell that Stiles was still mulling over this.
"How are things with Sean?" Derek changed the topic. Sean was the only student Stiles talked about and they had met after school just yesterday. At Sean's place. So far the other boy hadn't dared to set a foot in the werewolf's den, so to speak.
"Better." Stiles answered with a little smile. "We finished the assignment yesterday. But we want to hang out on the weekend."
Derek nodded to that, it was good that Stiles had made at least one friend here. They weren't best buddies, Stiles had said so even before everybody had thought that Stiles was a werewolf, but they got along.
"Speaking of this weekend." Derek said, making a face. "One of my clients got me a ticket for this symposium on short notice." Which meant he had gotten the confirmation just an hour ago. "It's a great opportunity to hear him speak about his topic."
"That sounds great." Stiles frowned at him, probably picking up on his discomfort.
Usually Derek worked mostly online and with book references, getting this close to the source was a chance he didn't get often. However, there were two problems. One, he hated crowded places and the symposium would be full with people and two, Stiles was still new in his pack. He didn't know how he would take it if he was separated from his alpha for a few days.
"I'm not sure if I want to go." Derek admitted. He really wasn't sure.
"If you're worried about me, I'm a big boy." Stiles guessed at least one of his worries right. "And I won't throw a party, I promise."
Not that Stiles had people to invite to his party but Derek didn't point that out.
"You could have Sean over if you want." He offered.
"I might do that." Stiles brightened up. "If you're actually going. I doubt I can make him come over with you looming in the background."
Derek flashed his eyes at him but Stiles didn't even flinch.
"My point exactly." He said unimpressed and attacked another carrot.
He did become serious a moment later.
"Would it be a problem for me?" He pointed at his head. "I mean with the bond? I've never been far enough away from you to not feel you anymore. I lose Boyd and Erica almost daily when they go to work around the city, but I've never lost the connection to you. What happens when you're going to ..." He paused. "Where are you going to?"
"New York."
"That's the other side of the country." Stiles blurted out with a hint of panic. Of course Stiles was worried about the distance and if he was honest, Derek was a bit worried himself.
"Losing the connection to me will be more intense than what you feel with Body and Erica." Derek said, remembering the connection he had with his mother and later with Laura. "But it's not that bad."
"It won't drive me insane?" Stiles asked. He wasn't joking.
"Breaking the bond would do that." Derek explained. Since he met Stiles he did a lot of explaining and to his surprise he didn't really mind. "Losing the connection by distance is not the same, the bond is not broken just stretched."
Stiles finished his plate and leaned back in his chair.
"So, you're not really worried about me." And with that he had just turned around Derek's argument against the trip. At least one. He was still not keen on getting squished in a crowd of humans, though.
"What are you worried about?" Stiles rested his elbows on the table and eyed him curiously. "Let me guess, you're not exactly a people person."
Derek just glared at him. Stiles nodded as if that was proving his point.
"You should go." Stiles said. "It's about something your interested in and it helps your work. Just ignore the circumstances."
That was easier said than done but Derek felt himself nod to the idea.
"I have to think about it."
Thankfully, Stiles dropped the topic after that and didn't mention it again.
The thing was, Derek wanted to go and somehow Stiles had convinced him to just do it.
So when he started packing on Thursday Stiles didn't comment on it, too busy with another rant about one of the other students who still thought that he was a werewolf but wasn't smart enough to get that poking a werewolf was a bad idea.
Instead Stiles just fetched him the things he needed from the bathroom.
"Erica will insist on pack nights." Derek warned him. Not that he thought that was a bad idea. His betas often slept together in a pack pile when he was gone, it helped them to deal with the absence of their alpha, and since this would be Stiles' first time apart from him he probably needed more reassurance than the others.
The night before Derek left they had another pack night which ended with him and Stiles sleeping in the middle and the others lying around or on top of them.
Being away from his pack and his territory wasn't easy for an alpha either so Derek enjoyed the closeness of his pack before he left in the morning.
His three betas promised to keep an eye on Stiles but Derek still left with mixed feelings.
Chapter 27
Masterpost