Human is Just a Word 30/?
Chapter 30
The evening started out fairly normal. Derek and Stiles made themselves comfortable on the couch and if they sat closer together than strictly necessary, neither of them commented on it. This shortly after his trip to New York, Derek felt the need to be close to pack, especially Stiles. If it was because Stiles was the newest and youngest member of his pack or because his inappropriate feelings for him, Derek didn't know, but when Stiles scooted closer and his head ended up on Derek's shoulder, he was the last to complain.
Derek was more focused on the weight of Stiles' body against his and the steady heart-beat that showed him how at ease the teen was than on what was going on on the screen. Some cop show, which were all the same.
He could tell that Stiles was slowly drifting off to sleep and Derek sneaked his arm around him to keep him in a comfortable position. Stiles just sagged farther into him.
How that ended with Stiles' head pillowed in his lap Derek didn't know. For long minutes he just sat there, wondering where to put his hands, before he hesitantly started to cared his fingers through Stiles soft hair. They had done this in reverse before, when Derek had been in his wolf form, and judging by the way Stiles sighed in his sleep and turned into the touch, he didn't seem to mind.
However, having Stiles this close did other things to Derek. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help but fantasize about Stiles turning his head which would put his mouth right against the zipper of his jeans. And the growing bulge behind it.
He knew that he should sneak out from under Stiles while he had the chance but he couldn't bring himself to do that. So he just sat there, fingers absently stroking through Stiles' hair, and painfully aware of how intimate their position was.
Then Stiles woke up.
Derek tried to melt into the couch to not slap his erection right in Stiles' face when he turned and shifted in his lap but then Stiles literally bumped his nose into it.
The second Stiles realized what was in his face, he fell off the couch in an attempt to get away from Derek. He almost cracked his head open on the edge of the coffee table.
"Are you hurt?" Derek asked with real concern, Stiles' heart-beat a staccato in his ears, and he couldn't blame him when Stiles stared in horror at Derek's still stupidly hard cock straining against the zipper.
For a moment Stiles' eyes were just glued to his crotch but then his expression shifted to something mischievous while his heart picked up even more speed like he was close to a panic attack.
"Need some help with that?" Stiles said, a glint in his eye.
Derek bolted off the couch and was across the room before he could even think about it.
"You don't have to ..." He started but didn't know how to continue. He had thought that they were past this, that Stiles understood that he had no obligations towards Derek whatsoever.
Good job showing him that by slapping your hard-on in his face, a mean little voice in the back of his head provided. It sounded suspiciously like Peter.
Stiles still sat on the floor, hands braced on the couch and the coffee table as if he was about to boost himself up but he didn't move, he just sat there, his mouth slack open.
"What if I want to?" Stiles said after a long second without making eye contact.
Derek wanted nothing more than those words to be true but he could still hear Stiles' heart, beating rapidly like a rabbit's in front of a wolf.
"I'm sorry." Derek said hastily and then fled out of the loft.
For a second he stood in the hallway with no idea where to turn to. He had to leave, now, he already heard Stiles' footsteps coming closer to the door.
"Derek, wait." It was a plea and Derek couldn't stand it.
His first instinct was to slip into his fur and just run but there was no time for that.
Without thinking he took the stairs and then he was at Isaac's door. He hadn't have his keys with him but he only needed to call his beta's name once before Isaac opened the door with a concerned "What happened?".
Above Derek heard the door of his loft open and he hurried to duck into Isaac's apartment. Ripping the door out of his beta's grip, he forced it shut.
"I fucked up." He admitted and didn't lean against the door to keep it closed no matter how much he wanted to do just that. But he did hold his breath to see what Stiles would do. For sure he had noticed where Derek went.
He could hear Stiles upstairs, calling his name, but after a moment he turned and went back to the loft. When Derek heard the heavy steel door close, he let out a deep breath.
"What did you do?" Isaac stood with his arms crossed over his chest, eyeing him closely.
"I assaulted him." He whispered, the weight of what he'd done crashing down on him.
"You what?"
Derek closed his eyes in shame.
"Okay." Isaac grabbed his wrist and dragged him farther into his apartment. "Sit."
Boneless Derek dropped on the couch.
"Is Stiles hurt?" Isaac took the seat next to him.
"No." Derek choked out the word. "He fell off the couch but, no, he's not hurt." Not physically, he wanted to add.
"That's good." The tension left Isaac's body and he shifted in his seat to face Derek. "And now you're going to tell me exactly what happened."
Derek shook his head while he tried to figure out what had actually happened. He had gotten an inappropriate boner, had shoved it in Stiles' face and the boy fell off the couch in his attempt to get away. When Stiles had offered to help him out Derek had panicked and now he was sitting here.
He told Isaac that much and saying it out loud made it sound even more stupid.
"So he finally knows that you want him." Isaac summed it up as if it was a good thing.
"I'm the last person he wants to be with." Derek bit back. Elbows resting on his knees and head hanging he just sat there, waiting for Isaac to tell him how much he'd fucked up.
"I don' know." Isaac drew the words out and stretched to lounge more comfortably on the couch. "Have you noticed how he looks at you? How he smells like arousal?"
"He's a teenager, he's reeking of arousal all the time."
"Only when you're around." Isaac clarified. "He doesn't smell like that when we're playing video games."
Derek didn't know what to say to that. Was it possible? No, he shook his head to dislodge the little spark of hope that threatened to bloom in his mind.
"Do you remember when Boyd and Erica formed a mating bond?" Isaac changed the topic and for a moment Derek didn't know where he was going.
"We're not forming a mating bond." He growled at his beta. What was he even thinking? "After what I did to him when I claimed him, the last thing he wants to do is to mate with me."
"You were the one who told us that such a bond would only form if both parties were ready for it." Isaac paused to let his words sink in. It was true, Derek had to admit, but that didn't mean that he was forming a mating bond with Stiles. Even if that was a possibility in the future, and that was a big if, they were for sure not ready for it right now.
"If you and me were mates." Isaac tried a different angle.
Derek snorted at that. He loved his beta but they were as far away from being mates as possible.
"If we were we would live together in your loft." Issac continued. "We would have meals together and would stay up late, watching a movie and talking about everything and nothing."
Derek didn't say anything to that.
"I can hear Stiles talking late at night from time to time." Isaac said softly. "And he's not talking to himself, is he?"
"That doesn't mean we're mates."
"We would sleep in the same bed." Isaac carried on with his little fantasy.
Derek thought about the nights they spent together either in the den or in Stiles' bed. It had become a more regular thing lately. Derek was always in his wolf form, however, he wanted to go to sleep with Stiles in his arms, human body pressed against human body. Not that he would ever tell Stiles that.
When he'd been in New York, it had been Stiles he had missed the most. He had been the last Derek had lost connection with and the first to reconnect with when he came back. Derek wanted to chalk it up to Stiles being new and human but deep down he had the suspicion that he was fooling himself.
"After what I've done to him …" Derek couldn't finish the sentence. He hadn't told his pack the details about the night he'd claimed Stiles but they all knew that without an emotional connection there was only one way for an alpha to claim a human.
"That's funny." Isaac chuckled.
Derek glared at him.
"You're freaking out over the physical part of being mates." Isaac grinned at him like it was a joke. To him it probably was. He was having way to much fun with Derek's problem.
"May I remind you that you were the one who told me that being mates doesn't have to include sex when I freaked out over it?"
Derek remembered that. After Boyd and Erica had accepted that a mating bond was something natural, a good thing that only deepened a connection that was already there, Isaac had freaked out. It had taken Derek three days to get him to open up.
"That was when you told me that you're asexual." Derek answered. "You were worried that you would get sucked up into a mating bond and that you would have to provide sex."
"It wasn't like that." Isaac made a face.
"It kind of was." Teasing his beta got his mind off Stiles for a second.
"Point is." Isaac brought them back to topic. "You don't have to jump each other's bones if you don't want to. But I'm pretty sure you want to." He smiled at him knowingly.
Derek gave him another glare.
"Anyway." Isaac cleared his throat. "Being mates is more than just that, you told me that. And you can't deny that Stiles took to his role in the pack like a duck to water. Hell, when you were in New York it felt natural to turn to him."
Derek just stared at him. This whole mate thing was ridiculous. Stiles was seventeen and not here by choice. And what Isaac was implying here … It couldn't be.
"What role do you mean?" Derek asked and at the same time he didn't want to hear the answer.
Isaac gave him a look as if he thought that Derek was a moron. He probably was. But he needed his beta to say it out loud.
"He acts like it and he feels like it to me." Isaac avoided his eye and he suddenly smelled anxious. He didn't want to put a name to it, that much was clear.
"Like what?"
Isaac visibly steeled himself and then he said the words Derek didn't want to hear. With all the mating stuff Isaac had said, the next words out of his mouth weren't a surprise but they still shocked Derek to the core.
"Alpha's mate."
Chapter 31
Masterpost