well, I'm alive
at this point, I don't know anymore. I've dissapointed my parents, and it's not even fully hit me yet, but I don't know how to make this better. And they want grand sweeping visions of the future with a PhD, but I haven't the foresight, and I guess, all I have is one step at a time. So I messed up. I'm crushed under the weight of my stupidity,
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