Real life horror movie
Thank gods I watch horror movies!
Dad says the shortest route from 80W from Staten Island to Warren is take to 66 north. What he means is he wants to deliver us into the hands of every horror movie ever made. I don't consider myself overly superstitious, but there are just some things a horror movie buff should not do at night. Following J's dad's directions is definitely one of them. The allegheny national forest is probably a very beautiful place. My personal opinion is OMFG CREEPY!!!
So let me set the scene here. Pennsylvania, 10pm. A young newlywed couple leaves Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash. They are driving to a small town in the middle of nowhere, singing along to their music, smiling, laughing. "Honey, where's the map?" "Oh, right here." Now if it was a movie, I would be turned around digging for the map as the old guy on a bicycle peddled by, and I would miss it. We would wait to look at the map until later, where we would pull over, stop the car, dig out the flashlight, kiss, then the camera would pan out as the window cracked and some guy wearing a hockey mask would have done something that managed to spatter half my brains against the winow, and J would see him only as he turned dragging my body behind him. He would then slam his foot on the accelerator and spin out, trying frantically to call for help on a dead cell phone, and traveling only a few miles before having the tires wrapped in barbed wire and the cannibal rednecks would wait in the woods to grab him once he stepped out of the car to look at the tire. They would then anally rape him before killing and eating him. Fortunately, we have watched enough movies to know to lock the doors, not stop to pee, and not say "I'll be right back" or to make out a bunch.
So while our event was only really exciting in our overactive imaginations, here is the start of a great horror movie.
-"Get off the main road and travel down highway 66. It's kind of the middle of nowhere, so be careful, there are tons of deer, and it is a serious speed trap"
(Name one horror movie where people are on a road trip that doesn't start out like that. We pass several creepy ass cemetaries on our way deeper into nowhere)
-"Now you are going to want to turn left, just after the state prison on your right. The road is pretty much unmarked, but a tiny sign somewhere before hand says it leads to pigeon. Pigeon is pretty much abandoned this time of year, but it's an old hunting camp."
(We happen to be listening to the banjo music of the o'brother where art thou soundtrack as visions of crazy redneck escaped convicts start filling our minds)
-"Take the nameless road until it dead ends."
(we pass the house sign that says "E-NUFF" and the road is 55mph and dead ends around a tight turn into a one lane bridge with a stop sign AFTER it and giant WALL of MOUNTAIN . . . somehow I am reminded of In the Mouth of Madness, and just have this strange feeling we are going to drive through just to be turned around back in the hunting camp. I look at the map. 66 and 6 meet eachother in a little town called cane. I start looking for the little bouncy ball to roll out in front of the car and tell J if I see one freaky old person on a bicycle we're turning around)
-"Turn right at that stop sign. That will put you on route 666. At that point you won't have any cell phone reception as the area is too hilly, so try really hard to not get lost, and watch out for deer. There are a lot of them."
-"Now when that road dead ends, turn left, and that will be route 6 and follow that into Warren."
So we take 66 to the unmarked road, turn from there onto 666, and then turn again onto 6. We photographed the street signs even :)
Dad says the shortest route from 80W from Staten Island to Warren is take to 66 north. What he means is he wants to deliver us into the hands of every horror movie ever made. I don't consider myself overly superstitious, but there are just some things a horror movie buff should not do at night. Following J's dad's directions is definitely one of them. The allegheny national forest is probably a very beautiful place. My personal opinion is OMFG CREEPY!!!
So let me set the scene here. Pennsylvania, 10pm. A young newlywed couple leaves Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash. They are driving to a small town in the middle of nowhere, singing along to their music, smiling, laughing. "Honey, where's the map?" "Oh, right here." Now if it was a movie, I would be turned around digging for the map as the old guy on a bicycle peddled by, and I would miss it. We would wait to look at the map until later, where we would pull over, stop the car, dig out the flashlight, kiss, then the camera would pan out as the window cracked and some guy wearing a hockey mask would have done something that managed to spatter half my brains against the winow, and J would see him only as he turned dragging my body behind him. He would then slam his foot on the accelerator and spin out, trying frantically to call for help on a dead cell phone, and traveling only a few miles before having the tires wrapped in barbed wire and the cannibal rednecks would wait in the woods to grab him once he stepped out of the car to look at the tire. They would then anally rape him before killing and eating him. Fortunately, we have watched enough movies to know to lock the doors, not stop to pee, and not say "I'll be right back" or to make out a bunch.
So while our event was only really exciting in our overactive imaginations, here is the start of a great horror movie.
-"Get off the main road and travel down highway 66. It's kind of the middle of nowhere, so be careful, there are tons of deer, and it is a serious speed trap"
(Name one horror movie where people are on a road trip that doesn't start out like that. We pass several creepy ass cemetaries on our way deeper into nowhere)
-"Now you are going to want to turn left, just after the state prison on your right. The road is pretty much unmarked, but a tiny sign somewhere before hand says it leads to pigeon. Pigeon is pretty much abandoned this time of year, but it's an old hunting camp."
(We happen to be listening to the banjo music of the o'brother where art thou soundtrack as visions of crazy redneck escaped convicts start filling our minds)
-"Take the nameless road until it dead ends."
(we pass the house sign that says "E-NUFF" and the road is 55mph and dead ends around a tight turn into a one lane bridge with a stop sign AFTER it and giant WALL of MOUNTAIN . . . somehow I am reminded of In the Mouth of Madness, and just have this strange feeling we are going to drive through just to be turned around back in the hunting camp. I look at the map. 66 and 6 meet eachother in a little town called cane. I start looking for the little bouncy ball to roll out in front of the car and tell J if I see one freaky old person on a bicycle we're turning around)
-"Turn right at that stop sign. That will put you on route 666. At that point you won't have any cell phone reception as the area is too hilly, so try really hard to not get lost, and watch out for deer. There are a lot of them."
-"Now when that road dead ends, turn left, and that will be route 6 and follow that into Warren."
So we take 66 to the unmarked road, turn from there onto 666, and then turn again onto 6. We photographed the street signs even :)