I've grown tired of everything. things i once thought were beautiful disgust me. contagious scents reek of illness. My love for anything has withered away to nothing. Including the love of myself. Its all gone now. I have been so stupid, so foolish, and such a girl in thinking things could change. I told myself not to let any of that happen, but i ( Read more... )

See subject. Yes, that's correct. I told him i was thinking that he was thinking we can't see eachother anymore and just didn't have the balls to say it, that's why we hadn't hung out in so long. He goes "i think what your thinkings is right, not all of it, but some" and so i ask him "tell me whats right?" at this point, I already know what is ( Read more... )

You were like heroin
Vein of my existence
Intoxicated heart
Euphoric persistence

Injected in my soul
That bittersweet pill
Dilated happiness
Analgesic thrill

So it's official. I am really alone now. I spoke with chris today and he told me he goes through phases with friends, and right now its his band. Which of course, excludes me. It's already been two weeks without him, and who knows how much more it's going to be. It's nice to know that i'm so unimportant that i'm considered a phase. Fuck and chuck ( Read more... )

it's official. I am completely utterly alone. In every aspect. I used to love my solitude, now that is all I have. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can take it. I have never hated life so much, or felt so alone.

Wow, you think you know people... turns out the best of friends can be bitches. So Cara tells me to walk to the ladner/ttown intersection so they'll pick me up and take me to the richmond party.. so i leave and after sitting and waiting for an extra 15 minutes i call her and she tells me "we've decided we're going home instead now.. do you think ( Read more... )

Fuck everything.

So i've been doing some thinking and so far this has just made me more and more confused. I'm trying to make a decision and as soon as I think i've done it I go back to re evaluating the whole thing. It's about whether or not to stop sleeping with Mitchell. I'm beginning to grow feelings for him, and I know that if i continue to sleep with him this ( Read more... )

See and hear things: your mind registers what is going on, but by the before you can think rationally your heart decides its something else absurd, and sends that message to your brain, than your brain loses all sense of rationality. Now with your brain reading all the wrong signs, dwelving on nothing that is beautiful or pleasent, but pain and ( Read more... )

Last night I had a dream I was dating Scott Baio, and he proposed.