PPC Interlude: Blood Under Starlight

[lady_rilwen]

This is a prequel interlude to certain of my missions, detailing how, exactly, Mazarun came to join the PPC.

Disclaimer: The PPC originates with Jay and Acacia, Osbert’s Raiders as a PPC group are the creation of KGarrett, and Forgotten Realms drow and other D&D content belong to TSR, Inc. and Wizards of the Coast. All drow characters mentioned

Comments

[vgdivision]

Not a bad introduction. Nice bit of gruesome injury with the teleportation malfunction. My only major issues were with this line:

He grabbed at the man’s hand, trying to wrench back his weapon, and heard the distinct sounds as the man’s wrist broke in the struggle, causing him to let go of Mazarun.

First off, it feels like the sentence meanders a bit. You could've probably broken it into two separate sentences. My second problem was with how easy the agent's wrist broke, especially since it just sounds like Mazarun is only trying to recover his weapon. Had you said he specifically grabbed his wrist in an effort to incapacitate him, I might buy it a little more.

[lady_rilwen]

Thanks for your feedback. Following beta-advice on my chosen replacement, it's been altered. :)