ADWD RECAP SPOILERS AHOY

[lady_theta]

God, that thing was brutal. I didn't cry but it definitely left me emotionally drained.
External things

• The plotting seemed awkward as soon as we reached the corresponding end of AFFC. 
• The chapter naming was intriguing from the aspect that it charted the internal journey of the character-- i.e. Theon slowly regaining his identity-- as well as how much ones identity can fluctuated.
• This man does not waste characters. At. All. I mean really JEYNE POOLE. It's been AGES since we've since her.
• Martin is very fond of sexualized torture. =_=
• And traumatizing depictions of menstruation. *wince*
• Martin is also extremely fond of Shakespeare in this book. Primarily Julius Caesar (Jon) and Titus Andronicus (Frey pie. *wince*)

Internal Things/Character Breakdown:

• Quentyn. Adventure stank. I liked this dude from the first chapter. I saw him sort of as a younger untried version of Doran in his cautious nature. And then he died.
• Tyrion. Manages to land on his feet regardless of what happens. Gets convienently stuck at same brothel inhabited by Ser Jorah. Somehow avoids getting greyscale. Manages to befriend female dwarf. Manages to somehow get excepted into sellswords company.  Martin. I know he's your favourite, but really now. -_-'
• Cersei. Was complicated. There is the slut-shaming aspect of her story but I sense it was more of a secondary matter that the subjects focused on as opposed to the UTTER FAIL she was as a regent and the chaos she brought on to the kingdom. And I highly doubt that she's quelled. I sense next book will be VENGEANCE!Cersei. And I realized that these books have desensitized me because when I was reading the walk chapter I was like..."yeah, yeah, yeah...that's odd." Five minutes later, "Actually that was highly fucked up."
• Jaime. Had like one chapter. I suspect it's a trap. Since everyone believes the Hound is dead.
• Theon/Reek: I...just.... I never thought I would be sorry for Theon. I liked his chapters from the aspect that it expanded a little bit on the politics of the north.
• Danerys. I leaning more towards the capricious Targaryen side of the coin. Mereen was like a tester city before she could take Westeros and given the fallout I'm a bit concerned whether she can actually rule effectively. There's also the minor problem that she tends to surround herself with people who are devoted to her but unwilling to question her outright. Selmy did a little bit near the end but not much. And the love story aspect. Oh god. I wanted to strangle her. I mean I know she's young and everything but SHE'S WANTS TO BE THE BLOODY QUEEN. Oh and the whole rejecting Quentyn on looks thing was like...dude, HE'S GIVING YOU A FREAKING ARMY WHO CARES IF HE ISN'T GORGEOUS. BIG ARMY + DRAGONS. I'm going to stop now.
• Bran. Is going down a slippery slope. Warging into people *wince*. I have a sneaking suspicion that the Prologue (Varamyr) was a foreshadowing.
• Jon. I ACTUALLY TOLERATED/LIKED JON THIS TIME. He was actually an active character as opposed to passively accepting things and made HARD DECISIONS and KILLED PEOPLE (well one) and HAD TO PLAY POLITICS. Of course, then he gets stabbed like Caesar.
• Arya. I don't know how I feel about her. I'm not terribly fond of her but I felt a tiny part of my heart break when she put on that girls face. She's losing herself for better or worse. On the brighside, the warging into the cat was AWESOME.
• Victarion. Apathetic.
• Asha. Wish there were more chapters. Her story felt a bit rushed. The reunion with Theon was heartbreaking though.
• Selmy. His chapters were good for more historic background and figuring out the whole Ashara Dayne thing. I definitely got the feeling that he was more of a follower than any sort of leader. Very concerned with honour which I sense is going to be his downfall...
• Griff/Jon Connington. I don't know what I think about him. His chapters definitely gave more insight into pre-Baratheon era of Westeros. But yeah. The Aegon thing. BLEW. MY. MIND.
• Davos. Is still awesome. AND DIDN'T DIE.
• Areo. Good for more Martell dynamics?
• Melisande. I actually liked her chapters. I wanted more of them.

Theories/Wild Mass Guessing:

• Septa Lemore is Lyanna or Ashara but my money is on Lyanna. What?! NO ONE STAYS DEAD IN THIS SERIES.
• Sandor's alive. Mind you this is going from pre-ADWD.
• IT'S A TRAP JAIME. IT'S A TRAP.
• Daenerys is not going to take the Iron Throne.
• Aegon is actually Aegon and not a fake Targaryen.
• When Doran finds out what happened to his son, he will pissed at Daenerys and somehow end up supporting Aegon.
• Benjen is Coldhands. Don't ask me how he retained his mind. well if Brynden is a Stark maybe it's something in blood line that prevents one from going completely zombie??
• Davos is going off to fetch Rickon.
• Nymeria Sand is going to be a POV next book. Mind you this is wishful thinking.
• This is not going to be finished in seven books. Not unless Martin goes on a EPIC even for him mass murdering spree.
• Martin will take 10 years to write the next one. I kid. Really. *cries*
• I'll add more later. I'm tired.