That's fantastic writing. Absolutely fantastic. Poetry has a habit of stirring up odd emotions in me, ones that words fail to describe well.
In that sense, it was a very good poem.
Cry, sweet innocence Cry for the souls left behind Hell's furious gaze
This night I bid thee, Think not of what would have been Nor that yet to come
Think thee of this time, The uncut path that is now Right beneath thy feet
Those were my favorite few stanzas. I used to write a lot. I still do sometimes, though I'm nowhere near as public with it as I used to be. I just never enjoyed criticism of my poetry. It's just one place where my writing is too close to put my wall up. So naturally, now, I hide it.
You should keep writing, though. It's a good thing. =)
Okay, now that I can say something intelligent...hyper_nekoMay 25 2004, 11:29:28 UTC
I absolutely adore it! It has a very (to me at least) mystical, minstral feel to it. There are some hints of something somber in the begining, yet the overall is very soft and playful. I think anyways. I really really like it. ^_^ As for my favorite stanzas I'd have to say it's:
This night I bid thee, Think not of what would have been Nor that yet to come
Think thee this time, The uncut path that is now Right beneath thy feet
This day's true delight Flows from thy present smile And love's soft laughter
The last one is by far my favorite part of the entire poem, for obivious reasons I'm sure *smirk* Anyho, good job Susana, and keep up the good work! ^.^
Re: *shoots himself* I guess not....hyper_nekoMay 26 2004, 08:02:02 UTC
Oh, I won't *turn* around I'm a good blind shot ^_^
Besides, I rather challange you to a game of Civ III, since someone didn't teach me Duelin' Banjos. *hint hint, nudge nudge, *shotgun click* BOOM BOOM*
Comments 15
I really like it though, and if you'll excuse me for a few hours, I'm gonna pass out. ^>^
Reply
In that sense, it was a very good poem.
Cry, sweet innocence
Cry for the souls left behind
Hell's furious gaze
This night I bid thee,
Think not of what would have been
Nor that yet to come
Think thee of this time,
The uncut path that is now
Right beneath thy feet
Those were my favorite few stanzas. I used to write a lot. I still do sometimes, though I'm nowhere near as public with it as I used to be. I just never enjoyed criticism of my poetry. It's just one place where my writing is too close to put my wall up. So naturally, now, I hide it.
You should keep writing, though. It's a good thing. =)
Reply
This night I bid thee,
Think not of what would have been
Nor that yet to come
Think thee this time,
The uncut path that is now
Right beneath thy feet
This day's true delight
Flows from thy present smile
And love's soft laughter
The last one is by far my favorite part of the entire poem, for obivious reasons I'm sure *smirk* Anyho, good job Susana, and keep up the good work! ^.^
Reply
We need to get you a stripey shirt and a beret. And some expensive coffee. Yes. Expensive coffee...
Reply
Beret... yes... a real one... and over exaggerated chest hair. ;)
Reply
Reply
I.hate.coffee.and.french.stuff.umm.yeah.
Reply
Reply
5:00 Tomorrow. Bring your banjo. And no sneaky turning around and shooting me in the back, okay?
Reply
Besides, I rather challange you to a game of Civ III, since someone didn't teach me Duelin' Banjos. *hint hint, nudge nudge, *shotgun click* BOOM BOOM*
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment