Father's Day Rant

[ladycamaro]

Well it isn't a serious rant but one nonetheless. More about the card companies and the messages they put on Father's Day cards. Almost all of them speak about how great your father is. They are great for John. He is a wonderful father and those suit him perfectly. Though since I show the cards (computer program for self-made cards that are printed

Comments

[bluescottygirl]

*hugs* yes! that's a hard one. I have a father I hold in the same sort of esteem as you do. I gave up trying to show him I cared around the age of 18...when I found a birthday card and gift I had spent HOURS chosing stuffed into the glove box of his car...well he didn't want his wife to see it.

I send a card though to "Bez" every year..infact it was you who gave me the idea *L*...he's been a great father figure right down to his "don't make me come over there" comments (oh how i wish he WOULD come back) but I send him fairly general cards that seems to be created for people who have such a relationship out of the norm..a bit like "for someone who's been like a father to me" sort of cards.

I think you'd cause yourself less aggro if you just thought "sod it"......but then I know about you and cards..and I know you won't

Chin up, girl
XXX

[aussiewench]

*hugs to both of you* Well I can't relate to the bad parent thing, mine are both wonderful and spoil me rotten most of the time, but I do have one friend who I ALWAYS remember his birthday, send him a card and pressie and a card at Christmas and about all I get back is the occasional text message saying "oh thanks"

But somehow it's a friendship I'm not ready to let go of yet... helped me out of a shitty place when I was a teenager and even though now we never talk or see each other somehow it's important to me to keep remembering him...

Stupid eh?

[ladycamaro]

I guess it is wishful thinking that leds us to keep doing something that isn't apprecaited. Hoping that one day that person will realize that you have always thought of them and "wake up." ~shrugs~

[ladycamaro]

I am glad to know that I am not the only one that has/does struggle with this problem. For birthdays it is easy cause I always go toward humor (and not about age type humor). I like to lighten someone's day. But for Father's Day I can't take it. I have thought the same way in years past but this is the first time I shared it with anyone other than hubby.

I am happy that you have found a father-figure to fill that part of your life. I can't say I know Bez all that well. But he always seemed like a great guy.

I know I should just quit and see if he notices. I doubt since he wouldn't say anything even if he did. I guess when I became a parent I see how important it is and I view any parent in a new light. I guess I stress too much about some things.

[bluescottygirl]

I remember when my grandfather died, I was pregnant with DD#2 and I met up with my father who asked me what my eldest called him (should have known then *L*).....so I said he is known as "Granda Gordon"...the next generation back of grandparents are known as Gran/Granda "surname") and he asked "can we do away with the "Gordon"...I want them just to call me "Granda".....so I thought, yeah! here we are, new start, dad is taking his position as head of the family and wants to be a part of my life, and that of my childrens, everthing is going to be fantastic

[ladycamaro]

Reading your words brought me to tears. I guess it is because I can see exactly where you are coming from. I don't think I am ready to let go. I have recently (last couple years) gotten over the guilt trips from my family. Oddly enough my dad and step-mom were the least likely to try that on me. When I was pregnant we lived within 20 minutes of my family and they never called or visited. So when our lease was up I wanted to move to where John's family was. They live an hour away from my family. He is extremely close with them and they welcomed me so much making me feel comfortable and part of their family. So now I hear the comments, "we never get to see you." "You live so far away." I guess it is because my dad's sibilings (sister and brother) are both single so family gatherings always had all of us and my two cousins from that side of the family. They all lived with a two mile radius of each other. I was the first one to get out of that circle and also the first to start my own family, understanbly since I am the oldest. My cousin

[bluescottygirl]

*smiles*...it's not the first time I've seen similarities in our lives, and I doubt it will be the last.

Where ever you're going with this, I think you're already half way there. It's when you find that their actions and words just don't hurt any more....when you reach a time of feeling only indifference to them...that's when it becomes a real eye opener.

You have a wonderful family in John and Kaliee, as time goes on your focus might fix fully on them....and in a few years you and I won't be yakking about our crappy parental "role models".......we'll be too busy telling OUR kids how to raise THEIR kids! *laughs*

Oh gawds!!....on that thought....I need to go and lie down!!

*warm hugs*

[ladycamaro]

It does seem like we have a bit in common. Let's just hope the rest of the similiarities in the future are positive ones.

And don't rush our kids into having their own. I am in no hurry to give up my second childhood. ~laughs~

Thanks for yakking with me. I look forward to the ones ahead. ~hugs~