DVD Commentary: Burdens Which Allow Us To Fly
cathmarchr loves this fic and wanted me to do a commentary on this section of it. If you want to see a commentary of a fic you love (or a different scene from this fic), comment at this entry: here.
The first thing you should know about this entire fic is that it was practically vomited out over a stretch of about three hours late, late into the night during one of the roughest patches of my life... You can sort of see that, I think, in a lot of the themes from the fics I wrote that year -- there's a pain, and an element of broken people coming together without really having to bother to heal. This snippet deals a lot with pain, I think... but also with frustrated joy. I see in Brennan and Booth people who are very rarely allowed to feel purely one or the other. It's an interesting character dyanmic.
“Temperance Brennan.” She's answering her cell phone here. If there's one weakness my heavily-dialogue-reliant style has, it's that I sometimes forget to clue you in on what's going on.
“Blue Eyes. It's Booth.”
She smiled. “You're the only who calls me that. I know it's you. How are you?”
Here's an opportunity I missed to describe his tone, to give him a breath... but I was probably, at the time, a little too concentrated on how hot I find David Boreanaz cursing to be. It's a real problem.“Fucked up.”
She dropped the file she'd been reading. Michael Stires's case could wait. Booth rarely swore, and when he did, it was usually serious trouble. “Are you gambling again?” Brennan may be all about the scientific process and not jumping to conclusions in her professional life, but canon backs me up here. Sometimes in her personal life she's not as thorough. Plus, this bit is in here to sort of illustrate where Booth is in his life and to show another set of parallels -- another vice he couldn't really escape.
“What? No. I made a promise, didn't I?”
“And you keep your promises,” Temperance said, reminding herself that Booth was a law unto his own - sort of like her brother, who defied the odds and everyone's preconceived notions - they were men that stood straight and said what they meant. ...This may not be entirely true, but this is how THIS Temperance sees the world. See what I did there? Similarities and contrasts. You would almost think I was doing this on purpose.
Unfortunately for me, I'm not that good.
“Yes, I do. Which is why... shit. I don't even know why I'm calling you.”
“Who else would always tell you the truth?” A line from the canon I have always, always adored.
“Rebecca's pregnant.”
Her knees went weak. Uncertain of why this was hitting her so hard, she reached for her office chair. “What has she decided to do?”
“She wants to keep the baby.” Booth drew in a breath. “But she doesn't want to keep me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I asked her to marry me. She said no.”
“Oh, Booth.” Her heart broke for him. And, of course, it's breaking for herself, too “I'm so sorry. I know she meant a lot to you...”
“She says she'll think about letting me have partial custody... I mean. Shit. I just never thought I'd get to a point in my life where I'd be saying 'partial custody', you know?”
“You deserve more.”
Booth laughed harshly. “I don't deserve anything. I tell myself I do...” I thought younger Booth might be a little fresher off the boat, so to speak, and a little bit more vulnerable. In some ways, I think that made the transition in this universe from friends to lovers a lot easier than in the canon.
“Stop it. You are a good man, Booth. A very, very good man. And you deserve the world, and Rebecca should give it to you.”
“I just - I just want to be able to see my kid.”
“Stand up for yourself, Booth. Do the right thing. Every child deserves their parents, for as long as they can have them.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. “Yeah, you're right. And you would know, wouldn't you?”
“Yes. Listen, Booth. I'm going to be out of the country for the next few months --”
“--wait. Whoa. Where are you going? Does Russ know?” And Temperance Brennan gets one in the "distract Booth" goal.
“I haven't told him yet. Michael's offered me a position on the Guatemala dig.”
She could practically see Booth's eyebrows fly up. “Guatemala?”
“Yes.”
“Blue Eyes...”
“I will be fine. My Spanish is quite good.”
“It's not your Spanish that worries me. It's your tendency to get into trouble that worries me.”
“I will take care of myself.”
“And what's with this calling your thesis advisor by his first name thing? Are things a lot more casual than when I went to school or...”
“Or what?”
Booth sighed into the phone. “Should I be worried about that, too?”
“It's none of your business.”
“Temperance.”
“What?”
“You shouldn't sleep with your thesis advisor.”
“Why not? We're consenting adults. It's generally frowned upon by the academic community, but both Michael and myself are perfectly capable of separating ourselves personally and professionally.”
“You know why not? It's not fair, but, you're a woman, Blue Eyes. And people find out, they're going to talk. It's going to make it hard for you to find a job. It won't make a damn bit a difference to his career, but it could ruin yours. Just... be careful, okay?” A lot of the girls who I went to school with had this opinion about inappropriate relationships, too -- that they're ALWAYS more harmful to the women than they are to the men, unless there's an age thing going on... Anyway.
“I know what I'm doing, Booth.”
But she felt like cold water had been thrown over her.
“Okay. One more thing, Blue Eyes.”
“What?”
“Be safe, okay?” She could hear the sounds of something banging in the background. “Guatemala's not stable at all. Not since the last time I was there, and I doubt things have changed much.”
“Why were you in Guatemala?”
Booth's voice went cold. “Why else? I went down to shoot someone at 1500 feet.”
“Booth...”
“I'm at the shooting range. Call me before you leave, okay?”
She sighed. “Okay.”One of the things that I think this snippet does really well is sort of display how their relationship is transitioning over time, from little-sister to confidante... and of course, it shows how Temperance, at this point, definitely knows that she feels something for Booth beyond friendship.
Thanks for picking one of my favorites, Cath!!
The first thing you should know about this entire fic is that it was practically vomited out over a stretch of about three hours late, late into the night during one of the roughest patches of my life... You can sort of see that, I think, in a lot of the themes from the fics I wrote that year -- there's a pain, and an element of broken people coming together without really having to bother to heal. This snippet deals a lot with pain, I think... but also with frustrated joy. I see in Brennan and Booth people who are very rarely allowed to feel purely one or the other. It's an interesting character dyanmic.
“Temperance Brennan.” She's answering her cell phone here. If there's one weakness my heavily-dialogue-reliant style has, it's that I sometimes forget to clue you in on what's going on.
“Blue Eyes. It's Booth.”
She smiled. “You're the only who calls me that. I know it's you. How are you?”
Here's an opportunity I missed to describe his tone, to give him a breath... but I was probably, at the time, a little too concentrated on how hot I find David Boreanaz cursing to be. It's a real problem.“Fucked up.”
She dropped the file she'd been reading. Michael Stires's case could wait. Booth rarely swore, and when he did, it was usually serious trouble. “Are you gambling again?” Brennan may be all about the scientific process and not jumping to conclusions in her professional life, but canon backs me up here. Sometimes in her personal life she's not as thorough. Plus, this bit is in here to sort of illustrate where Booth is in his life and to show another set of parallels -- another vice he couldn't really escape.
“What? No. I made a promise, didn't I?”
“And you keep your promises,” Temperance said, reminding herself that Booth was a law unto his own - sort of like her brother, who defied the odds and everyone's preconceived notions - they were men that stood straight and said what they meant. ...This may not be entirely true, but this is how THIS Temperance sees the world. See what I did there? Similarities and contrasts. You would almost think I was doing this on purpose.
Unfortunately for me, I'm not that good.
“Yes, I do. Which is why... shit. I don't even know why I'm calling you.”
“Who else would always tell you the truth?” A line from the canon I have always, always adored.
“Rebecca's pregnant.”
Her knees went weak. Uncertain of why this was hitting her so hard, she reached for her office chair. “What has she decided to do?”
“She wants to keep the baby.” Booth drew in a breath. “But she doesn't want to keep me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I asked her to marry me. She said no.”
“Oh, Booth.” Her heart broke for him. And, of course, it's breaking for herself, too “I'm so sorry. I know she meant a lot to you...”
“She says she'll think about letting me have partial custody... I mean. Shit. I just never thought I'd get to a point in my life where I'd be saying 'partial custody', you know?”
“You deserve more.”
Booth laughed harshly. “I don't deserve anything. I tell myself I do...” I thought younger Booth might be a little fresher off the boat, so to speak, and a little bit more vulnerable. In some ways, I think that made the transition in this universe from friends to lovers a lot easier than in the canon.
“Stop it. You are a good man, Booth. A very, very good man. And you deserve the world, and Rebecca should give it to you.”
“I just - I just want to be able to see my kid.”
“Stand up for yourself, Booth. Do the right thing. Every child deserves their parents, for as long as they can have them.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. “Yeah, you're right. And you would know, wouldn't you?”
“Yes. Listen, Booth. I'm going to be out of the country for the next few months --”
“--wait. Whoa. Where are you going? Does Russ know?” And Temperance Brennan gets one in the "distract Booth" goal.
“I haven't told him yet. Michael's offered me a position on the Guatemala dig.”
She could practically see Booth's eyebrows fly up. “Guatemala?”
“Yes.”
“Blue Eyes...”
“I will be fine. My Spanish is quite good.”
“It's not your Spanish that worries me. It's your tendency to get into trouble that worries me.”
“I will take care of myself.”
“And what's with this calling your thesis advisor by his first name thing? Are things a lot more casual than when I went to school or...”
“Or what?”
Booth sighed into the phone. “Should I be worried about that, too?”
“It's none of your business.”
“Temperance.”
“What?”
“You shouldn't sleep with your thesis advisor.”
“Why not? We're consenting adults. It's generally frowned upon by the academic community, but both Michael and myself are perfectly capable of separating ourselves personally and professionally.”
“You know why not? It's not fair, but, you're a woman, Blue Eyes. And people find out, they're going to talk. It's going to make it hard for you to find a job. It won't make a damn bit a difference to his career, but it could ruin yours. Just... be careful, okay?” A lot of the girls who I went to school with had this opinion about inappropriate relationships, too -- that they're ALWAYS more harmful to the women than they are to the men, unless there's an age thing going on... Anyway.
“I know what I'm doing, Booth.”
But she felt like cold water had been thrown over her.
“Okay. One more thing, Blue Eyes.”
“What?”
“Be safe, okay?” She could hear the sounds of something banging in the background. “Guatemala's not stable at all. Not since the last time I was there, and I doubt things have changed much.”
“Why were you in Guatemala?”
Booth's voice went cold. “Why else? I went down to shoot someone at 1500 feet.”
“Booth...”
“I'm at the shooting range. Call me before you leave, okay?”
She sighed. “Okay.”One of the things that I think this snippet does really well is sort of display how their relationship is transitioning over time, from little-sister to confidante... and of course, it shows how Temperance, at this point, definitely knows that she feels something for Booth beyond friendship.
Thanks for picking one of my favorites, Cath!!