OMG, I *love* this! It's not poor quality at all (although there are a few bits of dialogue where it's not quite clear who's speaking). But it makes perfect sense to me. Thank you so much for losing that dare.
Whoa, good stuff. Love. I squinted, but I'm not seeing the McShep,really. Incipient McShep, perhaps. Kavenaugh, like Rodney, reminds me of many of my friends. He doesn't seem as honorable though. He's a rat. I don't otherwise wish him ill, but he pissed me off in Letters from Pegasus.
LOL - McKay begging Kavanagh for rescue! I really think you did a good job with tone and POV. You got inside Calvin's head; he was actually bolstered that McKay dumped his team in favor of his company. Even if it was work related geek stuff, or to avoid football, it was still cool, because they were the same species ::giggle::
When Sheppard told Calvin, "You don't own him," I was thinking, 'Gee, John, you don't own him either, so give it a rest!'
Sure, the short piece could improve with a little revision and a going over, but that's your decision. Do what thou wilt, and have fun!
*blinks* That actually wasn't bad. It even had me grinning. At Kavanagh. With Kavanagh! *stares* Dear lords save me from all the pro-Kavanagh folk poppin' outta th' woodwork. *wimpers and mutters* I will hold onto my anti-Kavanagh ways! I will, demmit! Must resist the pro-Kavanaghs! Must resist...
I have to say that was stunning, never saw Kavanaugh under this light before. It's great, really. It's the first time I liked Kavanaugh in a fic *awful face, run to the bathroom to wash mymouth with soap* lol, I can't believe I said it. True I understand why Rodney would be annoyed by watching the same football tape again and again. Good job, if you have other horrible ficslike that, please be my guest and POST them. :p
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When Sheppard told Calvin, "You don't own him," I was thinking, 'Gee, John, you don't own him either, so give it a rest!'
Sure, the short piece could improve with a little revision and a going over, but that's your decision. Do what thou wilt, and have fun!
Innogen
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True I understand why Rodney would be annoyed by watching the same football tape again and again. Good job, if you have other horrible ficslike that, please be my guest and POST them. :p
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