FIC: Punch Drunk Love
Title: Punch Drunk Love
Pair: Clex
Two of Seven clexmas ficlets for the True Love Fest
Prompt: Intoxicated
“Why are you acting like this?” Superman hissed, trying to hold Luthor up without being molested, as the man seemed so determined to do. Even in their private quarters, the man was never that affectionate.
“’Cause I love you,” Luthor murmured into Superman’s ear. His hand slipped down to cup a spandex covered asscheek.
Superman flushed and jumped. He slowly turned his head to look at the smattering of JLA and Teen Titan members staring at them with utter incredulity. When Luthor tried to lay his head on Superman’s shoulder, he grabbed the man’s chin and looked into his eyes. Sure enough, the pupils were widely dilated. Luthor was clearly stoned out of his mind.
As hard as Superman was blushing, though, Luthor didn’t seem to care in the slightest.
“What are you ON?” Superman demanded.
“Nothing,” Luthor answered, staring up at him dreamily.
A noise of dismay came from their spectators. Superman was supposed to be in a meeting right now, he reminded himself. He had intended to leave Luthor in the interrogation room and fly him home later. When he looked up, he saw Conner practically crawling out of his skin.
“It’s YOU,” he wailed.
Robin’s eyes widened slightly, then one eyebrow shot up high.
“What about me? Luthor, stop groping me,” Superman protested.
“You’re what he’s on,” Conner insisted. His shoulders rolled upward and he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Oh, I need brain bleach.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about-“ Superman grabbed Luthor’s wrists roughly and held them over his head. “Stay put.”
Luthor gave him a sulky look.
“He’s right,” Robin said dryly. “Your ejaculate contains a powerful opiate. He’s blissed out.”
“How would you know that?” Batman asked pointedly.
“Because Conner and I are obviously more careful than they are,” Robin replied. He looked at the two men in front of him. “And thus are capable of testing Conner before fooling around. So… do you make Luthor perform oral sex on you every time you “question” him, or was he just lucky this time?”
“Very lucky,” Luthor said dreamily. Superman released his wrists and then found Luthor leaning on him once again, tracing the golden crest on the front of his uniform.
“Ahhhh…” Conner covered his eyes and shook his head.
“We didn’t- We don’t…” Superman looked down at Luthor. When he suddenly fell to his knees, Superman swooped down and gathered him into his arms easily. With a heavy sigh, he turned back to the costumed heroes. “We’ll have to discuss this at another time. I have to take Lex home and get him sobered up.”
With that Superman saw Conner look up, an expression of confusion crossing his face, as though it had just occurred to him that the impossible had happened, and that Lex Luthor’s intoxication was the result of the intimacy between them, and not the cause of it.
Pair: Clex
Two of Seven clexmas ficlets for the True Love Fest
Prompt: Intoxicated
“Why are you acting like this?” Superman hissed, trying to hold Luthor up without being molested, as the man seemed so determined to do. Even in their private quarters, the man was never that affectionate.
“’Cause I love you,” Luthor murmured into Superman’s ear. His hand slipped down to cup a spandex covered asscheek.
Superman flushed and jumped. He slowly turned his head to look at the smattering of JLA and Teen Titan members staring at them with utter incredulity. When Luthor tried to lay his head on Superman’s shoulder, he grabbed the man’s chin and looked into his eyes. Sure enough, the pupils were widely dilated. Luthor was clearly stoned out of his mind.
As hard as Superman was blushing, though, Luthor didn’t seem to care in the slightest.
“What are you ON?” Superman demanded.
“Nothing,” Luthor answered, staring up at him dreamily.
A noise of dismay came from their spectators. Superman was supposed to be in a meeting right now, he reminded himself. He had intended to leave Luthor in the interrogation room and fly him home later. When he looked up, he saw Conner practically crawling out of his skin.
“It’s YOU,” he wailed.
Robin’s eyes widened slightly, then one eyebrow shot up high.
“What about me? Luthor, stop groping me,” Superman protested.
“You’re what he’s on,” Conner insisted. His shoulders rolled upward and he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Oh, I need brain bleach.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about-“ Superman grabbed Luthor’s wrists roughly and held them over his head. “Stay put.”
Luthor gave him a sulky look.
“He’s right,” Robin said dryly. “Your ejaculate contains a powerful opiate. He’s blissed out.”
“How would you know that?” Batman asked pointedly.
“Because Conner and I are obviously more careful than they are,” Robin replied. He looked at the two men in front of him. “And thus are capable of testing Conner before fooling around. So… do you make Luthor perform oral sex on you every time you “question” him, or was he just lucky this time?”
“Very lucky,” Luthor said dreamily. Superman released his wrists and then found Luthor leaning on him once again, tracing the golden crest on the front of his uniform.
“Ahhhh…” Conner covered his eyes and shook his head.
“We didn’t- We don’t…” Superman looked down at Luthor. When he suddenly fell to his knees, Superman swooped down and gathered him into his arms easily. With a heavy sigh, he turned back to the costumed heroes. “We’ll have to discuss this at another time. I have to take Lex home and get him sobered up.”
With that Superman saw Conner look up, an expression of confusion crossing his face, as though it had just occurred to him that the impossible had happened, and that Lex Luthor’s intoxication was the result of the intimacy between them, and not the cause of it.