First Lines Meme

[ladyelleth]

In honour of finishing the two exchange fics for Rare Women due today (and now waiting for reveals to happen), I'll indulge in that meme that's been going around - though it's the last 11 first lines rather than the last 21, because I'm about the opposite of prolific.

Comments

[tehta]

I am curious. Which ones are bothering you, and how would you edit them?

[ladyelleth]

In short, pretty much all of them. I do think they work better in context, but even then they're all pretty weak and nondescript, but finding strong imagery isn't something I do well...

[tehta]

I think you might be having An Attack of Writerly Doubt. (Or perhaps I am over-identifying, since I get those myself.)

I really like 4. And 8 and 9.

Also, I have decided that I have no idea what this exercise is supposed to show us. I guess it would be amusing if someone ended up noticing that they repeat themselves a lot?

[ladyelleth]

Not over-identifying at all - though it's not so much an attack as it is a semi-permanent state, especially when it comes to scrutinizing my own writing (and there are other writing-related things I'm flailing over, but they have nothin to do with this meme).

Thank you, at any rate... I guess that means sentences that do raise questions? (I do realize that that's one of the 'oughts' as well, but as is obvious I don't do that often.)

Heh. It's probably best to forget about this thing altogether, other than an idea for taking stock...

[pandemonium_213]

You're too hard on yourself, m'dear. Those are all perfectly fine. Although the first-lines m-type thing is fun, an aspect of it that is troubling is that these one-liners are taken out of context and all too often, plays into the trap of THIS IS HOW YOU SHOULD WRITE! As a reader, it is not the first line that hooks me, but more. Could be the first paragraph for a short work or the first scene of a multi-chapter piece.

[ladyelleth]

Thank you... and good point about the trap of writing advice and the context. Though even so, it feels like these do lack the kind of sparkle that I'd want them to have; they seem to be fillers much more than hooks (or the beginning of a hook).

[brookeoflorien]

Oh, several of these make me want to read the stories! I find them quite interesting. :D

[ladyelleth]

Thanks! :) If you're interested, I took all of these from published fics, and they're all up on SWG and AO3 (apart from #3, which is only on AO3 because it's a Hobbit fic).

[hhimring]

I mostly don't find first sentences very revealing, all on their own, but what's supposed to be wrong with these? Some of them are quite evocative, actually!
Oh, and congratulations on finishing the exchange fics!

[ladyelleth]

Yes, you do have a point there - much like Pandë above, actually. Out of curiousity, though, because I still find them lacklustre, which ones do you find evocative?

And thanks about the exchange fics! :) Relieved to have that kind of flailing behind me for the moment.

[hhimring]

Ok, but keep in mind, please, that I don't believe this exercise is all that telling, with the lines on their own, and that also my tastes are idiosyncratic?

2 is almost too evocative. It works as a little poem on its own. It would become a hard act too follow.

I find 6 and 9 evocative in different ways.

1 and 8 seem slightly less evocative on their own, but as I recall they both worked perfectly as first sentences of their respective fics.

Some of the others appear to need a shortish sentence to follow--whereas 11 seems to need a longish one. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them as such.

(ETA: I hope this comment is coming across as nervous/anxious (which is what it is) rather than grouchy or anything like that...)

[ladyelleth]

No worries - it didn't come across as grouchy or in any way unfriendly; I'm just in one of those scatterbrain phases, hence the long time it took to reply.

Thank you for writing up the impressions as well! I always find it interesting how my stories are received in detail, because it's the forest more than the trees with me, very often...