30 Days of Smallville | Scenes. Sex. Sexy scenes.
So, this is one of those ones I was really looking forward to but when I actually got to it, it became this nonsensically big thing. Because I have no restraint. At all. Well, unless one counts laziness because I could've spammed more pictures but my fingers started aching. Serves me right. Anyway, in no particular order of preference, the scenes I consider 'sexy'. Such a weird concept but there you have it. Please tell me your sexiest scenes. I'm sure we'd probably agree there are quite a few I didn't include in this because of aforementioned laziness ;) so there's a lot more to squee over than this paltry offering.
I'll keep my commentary short and sweet this time. I've discovered my inner frat boy emerges with some of these scenes so I'll keep him in check. The pretty is the important thing, I doubt there's a single thing of intelligence I've actually written. Bear with me.
Lex/Lana, Wither
Lex: What're you doing?
(Lana unfastens his breastplate)
I just have to say I appreciate Lana's facility with ancient Roman costumery. Who knew she could strip off a cloak and breastplate so quickly? Get it, girl! Despite Smallville's ever-present open-flame policy at work here (really, fire hazards, people), I love this scene. I love that Lana takes the lead here; I love the intimacy and quietness. The lighting kills me (you'll read that a lot in this post) and I tried not to tamper too much with the photos because I love the dimness. I'm not going to go all meta on this (and there's a lot to say, I think, especially if you're Clexana-inclined) but I loved this scene.
Clark/Lois, Ambush
Clark: So what're you in the mood for?
Lois: Oh, I'm in the mood... just not for breakfast.
Clark: Lois - the bedroom's upstairs.
Lois: But the porch swing... is out there.
Fanfiction come to life. This is when I knew beyond a reasonable doubt that the SV writers used to be regulars over at Divine Intervention. LOL, I still remember the post I made when I managed to catch this scene on YouTube while I was off traveling in the bush. I think I had to muzzle myself with a pillow to contain the excitement this scene induced. All of it. Morning after glow; sharing the last dredges of orange juice; flirting over the rims of their glasses; Clark clearly angling for a rematch (there's that super stamina); Lois seeing his angle and raising him like 100 (her stamina would beat out his easy); and then.... PORCH SWING SEX ::thud::. I can't. This was just hot and sexy and exemplar of the effortless chemistry these two can have when they're given room for it. It was awesome. Look at Clark being all smug, the bed's that-a-way, and Lois is like, ohhh, let me school you, my young Jedi. Squirm at that make-out session against the door. Did you see his leg? Mercy!
Speaking of Mercy....
Tess/Zod, Escape
Tess: In every relationship - one person stands while the other one kneels. I will not be forced down again.
Zod (choking): Wouldn't want you to be.
This scene. So messed up and so sexy in a sadistic, masochistic, straight-up insane manner. Personally, I think Tess should only have sex with girls. And if she's with a guy, the situation needs to be inherently fucked up in the most incredible manner so this is probably why it works for me. I love the power-play. I love seeing Zod writhing on the floor. And Tess' mad grin when she sees him wriggling about like a worm is kind of golden because that's what it comes down to: power. And Tess is a twisted person, and I like seeing that come out. Always something sexy about a woman getting one over a man to me (is that a good or bad thing?). Zod's also a cracker-pants. They aren't a match made in heaven or hell, but I enjoyed their constant power struggles last season, from the premiere really. I'm sick that way, I guess.
Chloe/Oliver, Warrior
Chloe: How do I know when to let go?
Oliver: It's all about your heart. Just listen... right there in between the beats. That's when you let go.
Remember the time when I was determined to hate Chlollie and wrote this long post somewhere about how much this scene made me itch and how ooged out I was? God, I was such a pill. Forgive me universe, the crow pie is indeed tasty and delicious. Perhaps part of my visceral reaction to this was how sexy I did find it and the unexpectedness of that (I was also bitter about Zatanna so I took it out on stray cats, monkeys, the universe, and the scene that Allison Mack directed best - and I think it's because she understands these characters, her own especially, so well at this point). This is another one where the lighting makes me happy and I tried not to do too much. I love what Oliver's saying (smooth operator but also perceptive). I love their hands intertwined on that arrow. I love their height difference! OH WOW, I love their height difference so much (toss out the apple boxes, show!). It's not so huge that Chloe looks like an elf-midget-leprechaun in green next to a jolly blond giant thus giving me creepy vibes (see Mortal). But it's just enough that he towers over her and it looks sexy. The kiss (so irritated by the quality of those shots by the way), I'm a sucker for handsy people. And Oliver's hands are all over her and his arms are kind of insane. Okay. But in actuality, again, the sexiness comes for me in the actual dialogue, their hands, and Oliver's lips against her ear, Oliver seducing and Chloe knowing she's being seduced and being completely adult and okay about that. Did I mention them hands? Okay, stopping now.
Cannot lie: I'm so excited for the upcoming sexy times for these two, I know some of you lovely folk on the f-list aren't feeling it but I can't wait!
Clark/Lois, Bride (or the one where I show a remarkable lack of restraint)
Lois: Guess I can give these well-heeled puppies a rest.
Seriously, that's all the dialogue we get in this scene and yet it always feels like SO much is said. This scene (more precious lighting) is so sensual. The music, the closeness, the emotions moving between them - sparking, really. It's one of those scenes, and there aren't that many on this show to be honest, that makes me physically hold my breath every single time I watch it. As their faces draw closer together and then BAM! Nonsense happens. Cruel, y'all. C-R-U-E-L. But whatever, the scene is breathtaking and gorgeous and Durance and Welling played it perfectly, the way they look at each other makes me ache. It's probably one of my favorite scenes between them ever. Erm... so that's why there's one more picspam in color ::trills nervously::. Not obsessed. Nope. Not at all.
Lex/Lana, Wrath
Lex: Lana, wait! Killing me would almost be release - the only person who would really suffer is you.
Lana: From guilt? Think I'll get over it.
Lex: From knowing that Clark would never look at you the same way again. He's not like us, Lana. He might not want to admit it but we understand each other. We understand doing whatever it takes to survive.
From the sublime to the slightly messed-up and dark. I love this scene. Seriously. The parallels between these two characters had been apparent for at least two or three seasons but seeing them played to the full in this episode was awesome. Lana, in her anger, was awesome. Lex knows just how to push her buttons, he knows her. And she has no illusions about him at this point but she has feelings. FEELINGSSS! And they're all-consuming. Hate, love, vengeful fury, all of it and more. She kisses him back, yes she does, nice hand-acting, KK. But then she tosses him across a room again. And it's all spine-tingly to me. All of it ::has got issues::.
Clark/Zod, Upgrade
Zod: You need me. Who else in your world has ever truly been your equal.
Kal: I have no equal.
This scene actually makes me laugh out loud. Seriously? Are they even serious with life? I remember this was in the preview clip and it was hella awkward because Kal just kept staring leering gazing at Zod and wasn't saying much while Zod went on and on about Kierkegaard and how they could rule the world together, and only they could understand each other. And I know there was a brother-mentor feel to it all but it really just felt like a seduction scene complete with apples! And we even got a romantic star-gazing date, and Kal made it snow! That's true love.
Clark Luthor/Tess, Luthor
Tess: How can you be so flip when I've been looking for you all night long.
Clark: I like making you wait.
Holy starfish Psycho!!!!!! Oh, Clark Luthor, I hated you when I first met you and I still do because you are a thoroughly nasty piece of work BUT you put the 'sex' in crazy-ass-frightening-sociopathic-serial killing-murdering-megalomaniac asshole and when you say things like: "It doesn't feel right though... not having blood on my hands before brunch," I mainly want to run away screaming. But yeah, this kiss was hot. It sent fandom into a tizzy and that was fun to watch. I love how flustered Tess is, we never see her flustered. Remember that inherently fucked up situation I mentioned earlier? This counts. Tess makes more sense to me with women but here it's convincingly hot and scary ::shudder::. What an incomprehensible paragraph. Forgive me, it's that time of the morning.
Clark/Alicia, Obsession
I don't have a lot of scenes from earlier seasons. Mainly because I didn't really get into this show in earnest until my bb Lois showed up and I didn't find the characters that sexy because... maybe they all felt so young and I was young at the time so... I mean there's a few Red-K/meteor substance moments and some Hoyay Clex, and a few random meteor freaks. Lex had some goodies but there was nothing I wanted to spam except for this one.
I always feel like this pairing is a bit overrated but that might be the laziness of the writers and the lack of follow-up or the vehemence of the true stans of the ship, I don't know. This scene is hot, mainly because of handsy Tom Welling. I don't find Alicia particularly 'sexy', which is odd, because in pretty much all of the scenes I've shown above, I've found both participants 'sexy' in the moment. Probably because this is so much in Clark's POV, we see his hesitation crumble, and then he goes for it; and it's so naughty and very high school sneaky make-out session while your parents are asleep a few feet away and it feels forbidden. I like.
Lois/Clark, Homecoming
Clark: Lois... you're protecting my secret.
Lois: What else was I gonna do? I'd do anything for you - hardly a newsflash. Thank you.
Lois: Oh.. you drive me crazy.
Clark: I guess I should be going.
Lois: Well... obviously... busy day for a superhero....
I remember watching this scene on Kimmie's (dustydees ) couch and the number of times we a) rewatched this episode and b) rewatched this scene in a single night is actually obscene. I think we slept at like 4AM that day. Insanity. The best kind. So seriously, maybe this is boring of me but happy-satisfied-together Clark/Lois is probably the sexiest thing to me on this show. Sure, I like my kinks and my dark pairings and more perverse couples too but I love functional too and the sexual chemistry here is thick enough that it needs like a surgical laser or something (::is lame::). I love how they literally can't tear themselves away from each other. Heavy breathing. And whatever Clark's doing with this hands below-camera, I want to SEEEE, because damn. DAMN. Bale approves.
Clark/Lois, Escape
Lois: Let's face it Clark... without me, you'd still be lost.... what?
(Clark straight up lifts her up with his pinkie and tosses her onto the counter and the rest is history... until the cock-blocking Kryptonian. Bastard)
ET-mother-rucking-A. Kelly emeraldknight reminded me of an egregious oversight. No but seriously, how could I forget this scene. The time spent staring at that fuzzy preview for weeks over hiatus? Madness. I like to forget the seconds after she picks up the phone because LOL at that crappy dialogue and dubbing. But hot damn. My favorite bit: when he's digging in her pants for her cellphone and then poor Lois is like I need some space to breathe, hot stuff, back-up; it's impossible to think with your sexy ass between my legs. Whut? Unf. All of that. Um, really, we missed some epic make-out sessions between these two. But that's okay because my mind is filthy enough for all of us.
Special mentions that I didn't have the energy to do and may/may not reveal a certain inner madness: Faora!Lois and Davis in Bloodline; Davis and Chloe in Beast, Zod!Lex and Clark in Zod, Lex and Clark in Pilot, Lionel!Clark and everyone, Red-k Clark and everyone, Clark/Lana at the beginning of Wrath, Clark/Oliver in Odyssey. I already spammed Chloe/Oliver in Conspiracy and Tess/Lois in Odyssey. Clark/Lois in Pandora, which will be spammed later at some point but button-ripping FTW. I'm sure I forgot a bunch.
You'll notice I didn't include any scenes of the magically/chemically/intergalactically roofied variety. For me, sexiest thing: consent. It sorta bugs me that this show flirts with that line or goes over really in so many scenes where (mainly Clark) characters are compromised this way. I admit, some of them are hot, and I'm sure they'd be at the top of most lists and that's wonderful - but it's just not as sexy to me. So that's that, don't mind my rambling.
Tell me your sexiest scenes!
I'll keep my commentary short and sweet this time. I've discovered my inner frat boy emerges with some of these scenes so I'll keep him in check. The pretty is the important thing, I doubt there's a single thing of intelligence I've actually written. Bear with me.
Lex/Lana, Wither
Lex: What're you doing?
(Lana unfastens his breastplate)
I just have to say I appreciate Lana's facility with ancient Roman costumery. Who knew she could strip off a cloak and breastplate so quickly? Get it, girl! Despite Smallville's ever-present open-flame policy at work here (really, fire hazards, people), I love this scene. I love that Lana takes the lead here; I love the intimacy and quietness. The lighting kills me (you'll read that a lot in this post) and I tried not to tamper too much with the photos because I love the dimness. I'm not going to go all meta on this (and there's a lot to say, I think, especially if you're Clexana-inclined) but I loved this scene.
Clark/Lois, Ambush
Clark: So what're you in the mood for?
Lois: Oh, I'm in the mood... just not for breakfast.
Clark: Lois - the bedroom's upstairs.
Lois: But the porch swing... is out there.
Fanfiction come to life. This is when I knew beyond a reasonable doubt that the SV writers used to be regulars over at Divine Intervention. LOL, I still remember the post I made when I managed to catch this scene on YouTube while I was off traveling in the bush. I think I had to muzzle myself with a pillow to contain the excitement this scene induced. All of it. Morning after glow; sharing the last dredges of orange juice; flirting over the rims of their glasses; Clark clearly angling for a rematch (there's that super stamina); Lois seeing his angle and raising him like 100 (her stamina would beat out his easy); and then.... PORCH SWING SEX ::thud::. I can't. This was just hot and sexy and exemplar of the effortless chemistry these two can have when they're given room for it. It was awesome. Look at Clark being all smug, the bed's that-a-way, and Lois is like, ohhh, let me school you, my young Jedi. Squirm at that make-out session against the door. Did you see his leg? Mercy!
Speaking of Mercy....
Tess/Zod, Escape
Tess: In every relationship - one person stands while the other one kneels. I will not be forced down again.
Zod (choking): Wouldn't want you to be.
This scene. So messed up and so sexy in a sadistic, masochistic, straight-up insane manner. Personally, I think Tess should only have sex with girls. And if she's with a guy, the situation needs to be inherently fucked up in the most incredible manner so this is probably why it works for me. I love the power-play. I love seeing Zod writhing on the floor. And Tess' mad grin when she sees him wriggling about like a worm is kind of golden because that's what it comes down to: power. And Tess is a twisted person, and I like seeing that come out. Always something sexy about a woman getting one over a man to me (is that a good or bad thing?). Zod's also a cracker-pants. They aren't a match made in heaven or hell, but I enjoyed their constant power struggles last season, from the premiere really. I'm sick that way, I guess.
Chloe/Oliver, Warrior
Chloe: How do I know when to let go?
Oliver: It's all about your heart. Just listen... right there in between the beats. That's when you let go.
Remember the time when I was determined to hate Chlollie and wrote this long post somewhere about how much this scene made me itch and how ooged out I was? God, I was such a pill. Forgive me universe, the crow pie is indeed tasty and delicious. Perhaps part of my visceral reaction to this was how sexy I did find it and the unexpectedness of that (I was also bitter about Zatanna so I took it out on stray cats, monkeys, the universe, and the scene that Allison Mack directed best - and I think it's because she understands these characters, her own especially, so well at this point). This is another one where the lighting makes me happy and I tried not to do too much. I love what Oliver's saying (smooth operator but also perceptive). I love their hands intertwined on that arrow. I love their height difference! OH WOW, I love their height difference so much (toss out the apple boxes, show!). It's not so huge that Chloe looks like an elf-midget-leprechaun in green next to a jolly blond giant thus giving me creepy vibes (see Mortal). But it's just enough that he towers over her and it looks sexy. The kiss (so irritated by the quality of those shots by the way), I'm a sucker for handsy people. And Oliver's hands are all over her and his arms are kind of insane. Okay. But in actuality, again, the sexiness comes for me in the actual dialogue, their hands, and Oliver's lips against her ear, Oliver seducing and Chloe knowing she's being seduced and being completely adult and okay about that. Did I mention them hands? Okay, stopping now.
Cannot lie: I'm so excited for the upcoming sexy times for these two, I know some of you lovely folk on the f-list aren't feeling it but I can't wait!
Clark/Lois, Bride (or the one where I show a remarkable lack of restraint)
Lois: Guess I can give these well-heeled puppies a rest.
Seriously, that's all the dialogue we get in this scene and yet it always feels like SO much is said. This scene (more precious lighting) is so sensual. The music, the closeness, the emotions moving between them - sparking, really. It's one of those scenes, and there aren't that many on this show to be honest, that makes me physically hold my breath every single time I watch it. As their faces draw closer together and then BAM! Nonsense happens. Cruel, y'all. C-R-U-E-L. But whatever, the scene is breathtaking and gorgeous and Durance and Welling played it perfectly, the way they look at each other makes me ache. It's probably one of my favorite scenes between them ever. Erm... so that's why there's one more picspam in color ::trills nervously::. Not obsessed. Nope. Not at all.
Lex/Lana, Wrath
Lex: Lana, wait! Killing me would almost be release - the only person who would really suffer is you.
Lana: From guilt? Think I'll get over it.
Lex: From knowing that Clark would never look at you the same way again. He's not like us, Lana. He might not want to admit it but we understand each other. We understand doing whatever it takes to survive.
From the sublime to the slightly messed-up and dark. I love this scene. Seriously. The parallels between these two characters had been apparent for at least two or three seasons but seeing them played to the full in this episode was awesome. Lana, in her anger, was awesome. Lex knows just how to push her buttons, he knows her. And she has no illusions about him at this point but she has feelings. FEELINGSSS! And they're all-consuming. Hate, love, vengeful fury, all of it and more. She kisses him back, yes she does, nice hand-acting, KK. But then she tosses him across a room again. And it's all spine-tingly to me. All of it ::has got issues::.
Clark/Zod, Upgrade
Zod: You need me. Who else in your world has ever truly been your equal.
Kal: I have no equal.
This scene actually makes me laugh out loud. Seriously? Are they even serious with life? I remember this was in the preview clip and it was hella awkward because Kal just kept staring leering gazing at Zod and wasn't saying much while Zod went on and on about Kierkegaard and how they could rule the world together, and only they could understand each other. And I know there was a brother-mentor feel to it all but it really just felt like a seduction scene complete with apples! And we even got a romantic star-gazing date, and Kal made it snow! That's true love.
Clark Luthor/Tess, Luthor
Tess: How can you be so flip when I've been looking for you all night long.
Clark: I like making you wait.
Holy starfish Psycho!!!!!! Oh, Clark Luthor, I hated you when I first met you and I still do because you are a thoroughly nasty piece of work BUT you put the 'sex' in crazy-ass-frightening-sociopathic-serial killing-murdering-megalomaniac asshole and when you say things like: "It doesn't feel right though... not having blood on my hands before brunch," I mainly want to run away screaming. But yeah, this kiss was hot. It sent fandom into a tizzy and that was fun to watch. I love how flustered Tess is, we never see her flustered. Remember that inherently fucked up situation I mentioned earlier? This counts. Tess makes more sense to me with women but here it's convincingly hot and scary ::shudder::. What an incomprehensible paragraph. Forgive me, it's that time of the morning.
Clark/Alicia, Obsession
I don't have a lot of scenes from earlier seasons. Mainly because I didn't really get into this show in earnest until my bb Lois showed up and I didn't find the characters that sexy because... maybe they all felt so young and I was young at the time so... I mean there's a few Red-K/meteor substance moments and some Hoyay Clex, and a few random meteor freaks. Lex had some goodies but there was nothing I wanted to spam except for this one.
I always feel like this pairing is a bit overrated but that might be the laziness of the writers and the lack of follow-up or the vehemence of the true stans of the ship, I don't know. This scene is hot, mainly because of handsy Tom Welling. I don't find Alicia particularly 'sexy', which is odd, because in pretty much all of the scenes I've shown above, I've found both participants 'sexy' in the moment. Probably because this is so much in Clark's POV, we see his hesitation crumble, and then he goes for it; and it's so naughty and very high school sneaky make-out session while your parents are asleep a few feet away and it feels forbidden. I like.
Lois/Clark, Homecoming
Clark: Lois... you're protecting my secret.
Lois: What else was I gonna do? I'd do anything for you - hardly a newsflash. Thank you.
Lois: Oh.. you drive me crazy.
Clark: I guess I should be going.
Lois: Well... obviously... busy day for a superhero....
I remember watching this scene on Kimmie's (dustydees ) couch and the number of times we a) rewatched this episode and b) rewatched this scene in a single night is actually obscene. I think we slept at like 4AM that day. Insanity. The best kind. So seriously, maybe this is boring of me but happy-satisfied-together Clark/Lois is probably the sexiest thing to me on this show. Sure, I like my kinks and my dark pairings and more perverse couples too but I love functional too and the sexual chemistry here is thick enough that it needs like a surgical laser or something (::is lame::). I love how they literally can't tear themselves away from each other. Heavy breathing. And whatever Clark's doing with this hands below-camera, I want to SEEEE, because damn. DAMN. Bale approves.
Clark/Lois, Escape
Lois: Let's face it Clark... without me, you'd still be lost.... what?
(Clark straight up lifts her up with his pinkie and tosses her onto the counter and the rest is history... until the cock-blocking Kryptonian. Bastard)
ET-mother-rucking-A. Kelly emeraldknight reminded me of an egregious oversight. No but seriously, how could I forget this scene. The time spent staring at that fuzzy preview for weeks over hiatus? Madness. I like to forget the seconds after she picks up the phone because LOL at that crappy dialogue and dubbing. But hot damn. My favorite bit: when he's digging in her pants for her cellphone and then poor Lois is like I need some space to breathe, hot stuff, back-up; it's impossible to think with your sexy ass between my legs. Whut? Unf. All of that. Um, really, we missed some epic make-out sessions between these two. But that's okay because my mind is filthy enough for all of us.
Special mentions that I didn't have the energy to do and may/may not reveal a certain inner madness: Faora!Lois and Davis in Bloodline; Davis and Chloe in Beast, Zod!Lex and Clark in Zod, Lex and Clark in Pilot, Lionel!Clark and everyone, Red-k Clark and everyone, Clark/Lana at the beginning of Wrath, Clark/Oliver in Odyssey. I already spammed Chloe/Oliver in Conspiracy and Tess/Lois in Odyssey. Clark/Lois in Pandora, which will be spammed later at some point but button-ripping FTW. I'm sure I forgot a bunch.
You'll notice I didn't include any scenes of the magically/chemically/intergalactically roofied variety. For me, sexiest thing: consent. It sorta bugs me that this show flirts with that line or goes over really in so many scenes where (mainly Clark) characters are compromised this way. I admit, some of them are hot, and I'm sure they'd be at the top of most lists and that's wonderful - but it's just not as sexy to me. So that's that, don't mind my rambling.
Tell me your sexiest scenes!