The Broken Edge, Chapter 59, "Too Many Secrets".
In which Ben confronts his father.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“How could you?”
To say that Ben Solo was furious would be a lot like saying that rain was wet; it was both obvious and an understatement. Already, facing him, Han was too uncomfortably reminded of fights with Leia.
“Ben -- ’’
“You threatened to kill him,” Ben said. “How could you do that to him?”
“He was trying to brainwash you!”
Silence. Ben went rigid, absolutely rigid, in that moment. And Han knew that he had chosen the wrong term.
“Brainwash?” Ben’s voice went soft, too soft. “Brainwash? Is that what you call it? So in addition to Yana’s other crimes, he’s ‘brainwashing’ me just because you disagree with him?”
“There’s a whole galaxy of difference between that and what he’s doing to you.”
“He’s one of the only beings who believed in me.”
That stung. Han didn’t know if Ben intended it, but it stung.
Ben continued. “I don’t think I had an instance where Mom didn’t somehow hate me.”
“Hate you?” If the last statement stung, then this one felt like a punch. “Ben, you’re misunderstanding; your mother may have been scared for you but she doesn't hate you...”
“You didn’t feel her. And you...”
“Look, kid, there are mothers out there that hate their children. Without a doubt. But your mother doesn't hate you.”
“Then why did she think I had too much Vader in me? Me. A toddler. How can a youngling have too much Vader in them?”
Well, go on, Solo, tell him the truth, a voice in his mind taunted. Tell him.
Han felt as if words had been stolen from him in that moment.
“Well?” Ben said. “Anything you have to say?”
“Your mother...” Han paused. Could Leia have honestly thought that about their own child? Their own child, who was so precious to them both.
Or maybe just me.
“Look, I just want to say, Ben, it’s not your fault. Your mother has her share of issues, like we all do.”
“But why Vader? Dad, what are you hiding?”
The silence between them could have been like ice.
“Nothing that’s your fault, kiddo,” Han said. “Nothing you can help.” It wasn’t Ben’s fault his grandfather was a monster. It wasn’t Ben’s fault his grandfather was his grandfather.
“Why won’t you tell me?”
“It would break your heart.”
Ben looked at him in confusion.
“Your mother...your mother has her share of issues. The thing about Vader -- she’s been fighting against him ever since she was a teenager. I don’t think she actually thinks of you like Vader, though. You’re a good kid.”
Ben smiled, if faintly. Good kid. Sometimes it was those reminders he gravitated towards too easily, going to them like a starving kath hound looking for scraps. But why was his father dancing around the subject of Vader?
He would have to find out, sooner or later. .
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
“How could you?”
To say that Ben Solo was furious would be a lot like saying that rain was wet; it was both obvious and an understatement. Already, facing him, Han was too uncomfortably reminded of fights with Leia.
“Ben -- ’’
“You threatened to kill him,” Ben said. “How could you do that to him?”
“He was trying to brainwash you!”
Silence. Ben went rigid, absolutely rigid, in that moment. And Han knew that he had chosen the wrong term.
“Brainwash?” Ben’s voice went soft, too soft. “Brainwash? Is that what you call it? So in addition to Yana’s other crimes, he’s ‘brainwashing’ me just because you disagree with him?”
“There’s a whole galaxy of difference between that and what he’s doing to you.”
“He’s one of the only beings who believed in me.”
That stung. Han didn’t know if Ben intended it, but it stung.
Ben continued. “I don’t think I had an instance where Mom didn’t somehow hate me.”
“Hate you?” If the last statement stung, then this one felt like a punch. “Ben, you’re misunderstanding; your mother may have been scared for you but she doesn't hate you...”
“You didn’t feel her. And you...”
“Look, kid, there are mothers out there that hate their children. Without a doubt. But your mother doesn't hate you.”
“Then why did she think I had too much Vader in me? Me. A toddler. How can a youngling have too much Vader in them?”
Well, go on, Solo, tell him the truth, a voice in his mind taunted. Tell him.
Han felt as if words had been stolen from him in that moment.
“Well?” Ben said. “Anything you have to say?”
“Your mother...” Han paused. Could Leia have honestly thought that about their own child? Their own child, who was so precious to them both.
Or maybe just me.
“Look, I just want to say, Ben, it’s not your fault. Your mother has her share of issues, like we all do.”
“But why Vader? Dad, what are you hiding?”
The silence between them could have been like ice.
“Nothing that’s your fault, kiddo,” Han said. “Nothing you can help.” It wasn’t Ben’s fault his grandfather was a monster. It wasn’t Ben’s fault his grandfather was his grandfather.
“Why won’t you tell me?”
“It would break your heart.”
Ben looked at him in confusion.
“Your mother...your mother has her share of issues. The thing about Vader -- she’s been fighting against him ever since she was a teenager. I don’t think she actually thinks of you like Vader, though. You’re a good kid.”
Ben smiled, if faintly. Good kid. Sometimes it was those reminders he gravitated towards too easily, going to them like a starving kath hound looking for scraps. But why was his father dancing around the subject of Vader?
He would have to find out, sooner or later. .