The Broken Edge, Chapter 65: Defeated
In which Ben confronts Luke and Alora, and Snoke arrives on the scene.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: Sorry about the formatting issues near the end; Dreamwidth is kind of a pain when it comes to formatting.
The hangar was empty at first when Ben headed towards it, but he knew that there was something, or someone, behind a door. He knew that there was his uncle, and his aunt, coming to find him.
To kill you, Snoke reminded him. They will show you no mercy, and you must show them none.
I will not, Ben promised.
We shall see. We shall see...
It was then that Uncle Luke and Aunt Alora stumbled out of the rain, and Ben was struck by how their hair stuck to their damp skin, Alora looking almost ghostly in that light, her eyes wide and horrified, Luke looking all but exhausted. They paused, clearly taking in the scene -- the bodies that lay around the site, and more. Finally, Luke spoke. “Ben. Dear Force...did you kill them?”
“Not all of them,” Ben said. “The one who killed the younglings is dead. He can’t do any more unnecessary harm.”
“None of this was necessary, Ben.” His uncle’s eyes were wide, pleading, poignant. “Please, stop this. This isn’t you. This isn’t in your character.”
“I had to.”
“You didn't have to,” his uncle said. “You could have turned back.”
“There was no other way.”
“There could have been every way in the galaxy,” his uncle said. “There could have been every possible way. But it isn’t too late. You can come back with us. You can get the help you need.”
He could remember what the Supreme Leader said, and already possibilities were all but dancing in his head. Execution (just because the Jedi said they didn’t kill their prisoners didn’t mean that it was the truth). Being stripped of the Force like Ulic Qel-Droma before him. Being mentally violated and having his memories wiped, like Darth Revan before him. All sorts of horrifying possibilities, dancing in his head even as he looked at his uncle and aunt.
And what they could have done to Snoke...
Ben drew his lightsaber. Luke looked in that moment as if he had been shot, and thoughts streaming from him seemed to come in waves. Ben...how can you do this? It’s not you. By the stars it’s not you...
And Aunt Alora seemed just as shocked in that moment.
It couldn’t mean that the Supreme Leader was wrong about them not showing mercy, though. There was always the risk that they would take him back to be stripped of the Force. Imprisoned. Exiled. And he wasn’t ready to take that route. He wasn’t ready to become a hollow shell. He wasn’t ready, especially not for the sake of doing the right thing.
Is it the right thing?
It had to be. He was going to save Milara and many other places. There was everything wrong with the Jedi Order, but nothing wrong with them.
Right?
“Ben,” his uncle said. “Please...”
Lash out at him, Ben. Lash out before he gets to you. Lash out before he gets to you first.
Ben did so. It was only through a lucky break that he didn’t sever Luke’s hand.
Green blade met blue blade, and it was through there that the duel began.
They dueled, and Ben knew that though he was getting better at the matter of dueling, there was something about the matter of his Uncle that was infinitely better. He was accomplished, he was skilled, he was practiced, and Ben knew that no matter how much practice he had, he could never truly measure up to his Uncle.
And yet his Uncle was holding back. It would have been easy just to kill him, and yet his Uncle was holding back.
“What are you doing?” Ben demanded.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Ben,” his uncle said. “Please, just come home. We can help you.”
“I don’t want your ‘help’.”
“Just come home, Ben.”
“Why?” Ben said. “So you can trick me and then kill me?”
He didn’t expect Luke’s eyes to widen in astonishment in that moment, or Alora’s, “Ben...”
Ben continued. “Of course you’d kill me! That’s what the Jedi do to all their enemies. Or make them wish they were dead.”
“Snoke told you that, didn’t he?” Luke said.
“So what if he did?”
“He’s not telling you the whole truth. He’s manipulating you, Ben.”
“Not about this.”
“I don’t want to kill you, Ben. I want to help you.”
“You’re a...”
Ben stopped. Was his uncle a liar?
And strangely, Ben could swear that he felt something else from his uncle -- sincerity. The Supreme Leader said that his parents would kill him, that mercy was not a trait that any member of his family shared, and yet here his uncle was, offering him a chance.
All without deception. All without hesitation.
The question was, was he even worthy of it? He couldn’t be worthy of it. Not after all he had done. Not after what he had committed.
“Ben,” Luke said, softly.
“You don’t understand! I killed them. I killed them.” Ben’s voice cracked. He didn’t cry, but the tears were there in his voice. He was grateful at least that the others weren’t around to see this. Imagine that, their leader, their commander, on the verge of breaking down like a little boy. “I didn’t want to, I gave them a chance to surrender, but they didn’t take it, a-and I had to -- I had to -- ’’
“Your grandfather killed in similar circumstances and yet he was redeemed,” Luke said. “I can’t see why you can’t.”
And for a moment, Ben wanted to go with Uncle Luke. For a moment, he wanted to abandon all this and go home.
But could he? He’d made a promise, after all. And then there was the fact that even if he really could go home...could he? Even after all he had done...
“Uncle, I’m sorry,” Ben said. “I belong here.”
He could swear that his uncle’s eyes widened in something like heartbreak, and he said, “Ben...”
“I belong here,” Ben said. “I think I have, all along.”
This is who I really am.
He drew his lightsaber again. Uncle Luke drew his in turn, and the duel resumed. This time, it seemed to be evenly matched, this time it seemed to be a case of neither one wanting to truly hurt the other. Neither one wanting to kill the other. Up until, at least, Uncle Luke froze him.
Ben tried to move, but he felt as if he were stuck in quicksand. It was hard to move in that moment, hard to so much as speak, for that matter.
“I’m sorry, Ben,” Uncle Luke said. “I never wanted this to happen.”
The last thing he felt before everything went black were his uncle’s lips on his forehead.
***
Luke Skywalker looked over the prone body of his nephew. It wasn’t the first time that he had used Stasis on someone, but definitely the first time that he had actually used it on Ben, and he couldn’t help but be horrified at what he had done. Everything he had done, actually. He had never imagined that it would actually come to this.
“Come on,” he said. “Alora...help me get him back to the ship.”
Alora nodded, and they were about to get Ben back to the ship when Snoke’s voice rumbled from seemingly out of nowhere, “Leaving so soon, Skywalker?”
It was there that Snoke stepped out of the shadows, his pale skin seeming all but luminous in the night. A flash of lightning and Snoke was illuminated all the more. Luke flinched, but he did not drop Ben. Instead, he looked up into Snoke’s face, into the scarred face and bright blue eyes strangely untainted by the Dark Side, and willed himself not to be afraid.
“Snoke,” Luke said calmly. “I thought that you would be behind this.”
Alora then spoke. “You corrupted him.”
“I showed him the truth. Your...Order could not be allowed to continue.” Snoke said the word with a certain amount of disgust. “It was corrupt, it was cruel, it was repugnant. I watched you too, Luke Skywalker, and it is safe to say I have never hated anyone as much as I have hated you, or for that matter, Yoda.”
“You...hated me?” Luke already felt as if he had been punched in the gut. It wasn't the worst thing Snoke had done, and yet...
“Of course I hated you,” Snoke snarled. “I hated everything about you. Your self-righteous blathering about the Light and the Dark, your murders of those on the first Death Star that you tried to portray as righteous and justified, your mewling about topics that you could never in centuries understand. I hated you. It was all a matter of saying nothing. Even if we were on the same side, I would have to hide the fact that I knew that there was no decency in that body, in your idiotic rants about good and evil -- never mind that you have committed so much evil, your hands run red with it, and they’ll never be clean.”
Every word that Snoke said felt like a lightsaber burn. Then Luke spoke again. “Snoke,” he said. “Is that really what you got out of it?”
“Yes. You have no idea what it was like to be surrounded by such gossiping, self-righteous, hypocritical buffoons. You have no idea how infuriating it was to be surrounded by your ilk.”
“So it was a lie. All of it.”
“It was. Do you think I would actually feel friendship for a liar and a murderer like you?”
Luke, for a moment, was too stunned to speak. Alora seemed too stunned as well. Snoke continued. “And now you seek to harm my apprentice. More than you already have. You will not harm him, though. You will not harm him ever, ever again.”
Snoke drew his lightsaber and ignited it -- blood red double blades that shone in the rain. Luke and Alora drew theirs, and they dueled. To say that Snoke was skilled was an understatement; he moved with a certain grace and speed that belied his height. Luke had to admit that if they weren’t fighting for their lives and Ben’s, he could afford to be at least slightly impressed. Instead, he was very much worried -- how, if anything, was he going to survive this?
It was there that Snoke’s lightsaber, double blades, rushed at Luke. Luke dodged it, and yet the blade clove through both his hands before he could stop it. Even as his lightsaber rolled away, Luke knew that it was over, that he was defenseless.
“Hurts being defenseless, does it not?” Snoke said. “Sad to see a man’s talents fail him. You think that you're all-powerful, all-knowing, the greatest Jedi who ever lived. You are wrong. Next to us, you’re a child who found his father’s lightsaber for the first time.”
Luke could not deny it. Even lying there, he knew full well that next to Snoke, he was really and truly nothing. He had lost. He had lost the moment that he had put his trust in Snoke.
Alora charged at Snoke, only for Snoke to reach out and put her in a Force Whirlwind. Luke stumbled to his feet, but Snoke froze him.
And Luke could only watch, feeling all but paralyzed, as Snoke carried Ben once more, like one of the villains in horror holos carrying their victims, up the ramp of his ship.
Snoke’s words practically boomed inside his mind. He is not yours, Skywalker. This boy, this warrior...he is mine, and will forever be.
They echoed inside Luke’s head long after Snoke flew away. Luke felt his knees give way and Alora’s arms were around him, supporting him as best she could considering what had just happened.
He is mine.
He
is
mine.
And of all the things that happened that horrible night, Luke knew that those words would go with him to the grave, a reminder of the promise he broke to Leia, and every other broken promise.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: Sorry about the formatting issues near the end; Dreamwidth is kind of a pain when it comes to formatting.
The hangar was empty at first when Ben headed towards it, but he knew that there was something, or someone, behind a door. He knew that there was his uncle, and his aunt, coming to find him.
To kill you, Snoke reminded him. They will show you no mercy, and you must show them none.
I will not, Ben promised.
We shall see. We shall see...
It was then that Uncle Luke and Aunt Alora stumbled out of the rain, and Ben was struck by how their hair stuck to their damp skin, Alora looking almost ghostly in that light, her eyes wide and horrified, Luke looking all but exhausted. They paused, clearly taking in the scene -- the bodies that lay around the site, and more. Finally, Luke spoke. “Ben. Dear Force...did you kill them?”
“Not all of them,” Ben said. “The one who killed the younglings is dead. He can’t do any more unnecessary harm.”
“None of this was necessary, Ben.” His uncle’s eyes were wide, pleading, poignant. “Please, stop this. This isn’t you. This isn’t in your character.”
“I had to.”
“You didn't have to,” his uncle said. “You could have turned back.”
“There was no other way.”
“There could have been every way in the galaxy,” his uncle said. “There could have been every possible way. But it isn’t too late. You can come back with us. You can get the help you need.”
He could remember what the Supreme Leader said, and already possibilities were all but dancing in his head. Execution (just because the Jedi said they didn’t kill their prisoners didn’t mean that it was the truth). Being stripped of the Force like Ulic Qel-Droma before him. Being mentally violated and having his memories wiped, like Darth Revan before him. All sorts of horrifying possibilities, dancing in his head even as he looked at his uncle and aunt.
And what they could have done to Snoke...
Ben drew his lightsaber. Luke looked in that moment as if he had been shot, and thoughts streaming from him seemed to come in waves. Ben...how can you do this? It’s not you. By the stars it’s not you...
And Aunt Alora seemed just as shocked in that moment.
It couldn’t mean that the Supreme Leader was wrong about them not showing mercy, though. There was always the risk that they would take him back to be stripped of the Force. Imprisoned. Exiled. And he wasn’t ready to take that route. He wasn’t ready to become a hollow shell. He wasn’t ready, especially not for the sake of doing the right thing.
Is it the right thing?
It had to be. He was going to save Milara and many other places. There was everything wrong with the Jedi Order, but nothing wrong with them.
Right?
“Ben,” his uncle said. “Please...”
Lash out at him, Ben. Lash out before he gets to you. Lash out before he gets to you first.
Ben did so. It was only through a lucky break that he didn’t sever Luke’s hand.
Green blade met blue blade, and it was through there that the duel began.
They dueled, and Ben knew that though he was getting better at the matter of dueling, there was something about the matter of his Uncle that was infinitely better. He was accomplished, he was skilled, he was practiced, and Ben knew that no matter how much practice he had, he could never truly measure up to his Uncle.
And yet his Uncle was holding back. It would have been easy just to kill him, and yet his Uncle was holding back.
“What are you doing?” Ben demanded.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Ben,” his uncle said. “Please, just come home. We can help you.”
“I don’t want your ‘help’.”
“Just come home, Ben.”
“Why?” Ben said. “So you can trick me and then kill me?”
He didn’t expect Luke’s eyes to widen in astonishment in that moment, or Alora’s, “Ben...”
Ben continued. “Of course you’d kill me! That’s what the Jedi do to all their enemies. Or make them wish they were dead.”
“Snoke told you that, didn’t he?” Luke said.
“So what if he did?”
“He’s not telling you the whole truth. He’s manipulating you, Ben.”
“Not about this.”
“I don’t want to kill you, Ben. I want to help you.”
“You’re a...”
Ben stopped. Was his uncle a liar?
And strangely, Ben could swear that he felt something else from his uncle -- sincerity. The Supreme Leader said that his parents would kill him, that mercy was not a trait that any member of his family shared, and yet here his uncle was, offering him a chance.
All without deception. All without hesitation.
The question was, was he even worthy of it? He couldn’t be worthy of it. Not after all he had done. Not after what he had committed.
“Ben,” Luke said, softly.
“You don’t understand! I killed them. I killed them.” Ben’s voice cracked. He didn’t cry, but the tears were there in his voice. He was grateful at least that the others weren’t around to see this. Imagine that, their leader, their commander, on the verge of breaking down like a little boy. “I didn’t want to, I gave them a chance to surrender, but they didn’t take it, a-and I had to -- I had to -- ’’
“Your grandfather killed in similar circumstances and yet he was redeemed,” Luke said. “I can’t see why you can’t.”
And for a moment, Ben wanted to go with Uncle Luke. For a moment, he wanted to abandon all this and go home.
But could he? He’d made a promise, after all. And then there was the fact that even if he really could go home...could he? Even after all he had done...
“Uncle, I’m sorry,” Ben said. “I belong here.”
He could swear that his uncle’s eyes widened in something like heartbreak, and he said, “Ben...”
“I belong here,” Ben said. “I think I have, all along.”
This is who I really am.
He drew his lightsaber again. Uncle Luke drew his in turn, and the duel resumed. This time, it seemed to be evenly matched, this time it seemed to be a case of neither one wanting to truly hurt the other. Neither one wanting to kill the other. Up until, at least, Uncle Luke froze him.
Ben tried to move, but he felt as if he were stuck in quicksand. It was hard to move in that moment, hard to so much as speak, for that matter.
“I’m sorry, Ben,” Uncle Luke said. “I never wanted this to happen.”
The last thing he felt before everything went black were his uncle’s lips on his forehead.
***
Luke Skywalker looked over the prone body of his nephew. It wasn’t the first time that he had used Stasis on someone, but definitely the first time that he had actually used it on Ben, and he couldn’t help but be horrified at what he had done. Everything he had done, actually. He had never imagined that it would actually come to this.
“Come on,” he said. “Alora...help me get him back to the ship.”
Alora nodded, and they were about to get Ben back to the ship when Snoke’s voice rumbled from seemingly out of nowhere, “Leaving so soon, Skywalker?”
It was there that Snoke stepped out of the shadows, his pale skin seeming all but luminous in the night. A flash of lightning and Snoke was illuminated all the more. Luke flinched, but he did not drop Ben. Instead, he looked up into Snoke’s face, into the scarred face and bright blue eyes strangely untainted by the Dark Side, and willed himself not to be afraid.
“Snoke,” Luke said calmly. “I thought that you would be behind this.”
Alora then spoke. “You corrupted him.”
“I showed him the truth. Your...Order could not be allowed to continue.” Snoke said the word with a certain amount of disgust. “It was corrupt, it was cruel, it was repugnant. I watched you too, Luke Skywalker, and it is safe to say I have never hated anyone as much as I have hated you, or for that matter, Yoda.”
“You...hated me?” Luke already felt as if he had been punched in the gut. It wasn't the worst thing Snoke had done, and yet...
“Of course I hated you,” Snoke snarled. “I hated everything about you. Your self-righteous blathering about the Light and the Dark, your murders of those on the first Death Star that you tried to portray as righteous and justified, your mewling about topics that you could never in centuries understand. I hated you. It was all a matter of saying nothing. Even if we were on the same side, I would have to hide the fact that I knew that there was no decency in that body, in your idiotic rants about good and evil -- never mind that you have committed so much evil, your hands run red with it, and they’ll never be clean.”
Every word that Snoke said felt like a lightsaber burn. Then Luke spoke again. “Snoke,” he said. “Is that really what you got out of it?”
“Yes. You have no idea what it was like to be surrounded by such gossiping, self-righteous, hypocritical buffoons. You have no idea how infuriating it was to be surrounded by your ilk.”
“So it was a lie. All of it.”
“It was. Do you think I would actually feel friendship for a liar and a murderer like you?”
Luke, for a moment, was too stunned to speak. Alora seemed too stunned as well. Snoke continued. “And now you seek to harm my apprentice. More than you already have. You will not harm him, though. You will not harm him ever, ever again.”
Snoke drew his lightsaber and ignited it -- blood red double blades that shone in the rain. Luke and Alora drew theirs, and they dueled. To say that Snoke was skilled was an understatement; he moved with a certain grace and speed that belied his height. Luke had to admit that if they weren’t fighting for their lives and Ben’s, he could afford to be at least slightly impressed. Instead, he was very much worried -- how, if anything, was he going to survive this?
It was there that Snoke’s lightsaber, double blades, rushed at Luke. Luke dodged it, and yet the blade clove through both his hands before he could stop it. Even as his lightsaber rolled away, Luke knew that it was over, that he was defenseless.
“Hurts being defenseless, does it not?” Snoke said. “Sad to see a man’s talents fail him. You think that you're all-powerful, all-knowing, the greatest Jedi who ever lived. You are wrong. Next to us, you’re a child who found his father’s lightsaber for the first time.”
Luke could not deny it. Even lying there, he knew full well that next to Snoke, he was really and truly nothing. He had lost. He had lost the moment that he had put his trust in Snoke.
Alora charged at Snoke, only for Snoke to reach out and put her in a Force Whirlwind. Luke stumbled to his feet, but Snoke froze him.
And Luke could only watch, feeling all but paralyzed, as Snoke carried Ben once more, like one of the villains in horror holos carrying their victims, up the ramp of his ship.
Snoke’s words practically boomed inside his mind. He is not yours, Skywalker. This boy, this warrior...he is mine, and will forever be.
They echoed inside Luke’s head long after Snoke flew away. Luke felt his knees give way and Alora’s arms were around him, supporting him as best she could considering what had just happened.
He is mine.
He
is
mine.
And of all the things that happened that horrible night, Luke knew that those words would go with him to the grave, a reminder of the promise he broke to Leia, and every other broken promise.