fic: "The Burn" J2 ch 4
More firefighter fic.
Jensen doesn't deal well with boredom.
Jensen isn’t made for idleness. It fits him worse than a tux and he fidgets his way through some stupid reality TV bullshit and goes to the store to buy brushes and treats for the dogs and goes through his fitness regiment again.
He considers calling Rick, because angry sex can be really hot sometimes. He thinks might have broken the dude’s nose though so that might be angrier than he’s looking for.
On the third walk of the day some pretty blonde comes up and compliments him on his dogs and asks all “Awww the poor widdle puppy hurt her pawsie wawsie” what happened to Girl’s foot and any plan Jensen had of taking her home and fucking her (or maybe taking her by the station to show off to the guys) fades. He drops whatever line about special rescue dogs and would she like to see his badge that he was about to use on her.
There’s something wrong with him. Something completely dysfunctional.
He goes home and stretches out on the couch and wishes to god he had a job to go to in the morning. Girl nuzzles her nose into his hand and he pets her ears as he closes his eyes. He promises himself that if nothing interesting happens tomorrow he’s gonna drink himself into a splendid drunkenness but he knows it’s a lie.
All his friends though? The ones he doesn’t fuck? They’re getting calls until he finds someone who isn’t busy because this being bored shit sucks.
=======
Jensen wakes up with Girl’s weight on his chest again and Dog knocking the stack of overdue DVDs off of his coffee table. It’s been like a month since Chris talked him into renting the videos and he really should take those back one of these days.
He is totally psyched to have a better day than the previous. He gets the dogs ready for their morning (okay, late-morning, but it’s still morning) walk and goes through the names in his phone book. He starts calling while Dog takes a dump in the little strip of grass outside of his apartment and quickly decides he needs new friends. He gets three variations of “I don’t get off work until blah blah later” and two of “I’ve only been in bed a few hours, you asshole.”
Which leaves him so bored that he should get nailed. Or at least laid. He snickers to himself and Girl leans against him. Poor thing, tired again. Which means walking is over for a while and he’s got nothing to do for another long afternoon.
He gets the dogs home and then leaves again because he can think of one guy who isn’t working. He might be sleeping but Jensen thinks it’s worth the shot. ‘Cause Jared? He’s goin’ nowhere.
=======
The nurses let Jensen into Jared’s room a lot easier the second time around. They guy’s out cold again but his color looks a little better. Jensen closes one eye and holds up his hand to block out the damaged half of the young man’s face and decides he’s kinda cute. In a sleeping sort of way.
Jensen sits in the chair by his bedside. He can be patient. And quiet. He can. And if the leg of the chair scrapes noisily on the floor or Jensen gets a hair in his throat and can’t stop the coughing fit, it’s not a sign that he has the attention span of a four-year-old, right?
Jared stirs with a slurred “Wha?” and Jensen thinks maybe planning the next step of their acquaintance might have been a good step.
“Hey,” he says, feeling kinda stupid. “How you feeling?”
Jared thinks about it for a second. “Alive,” he decides.
“Glad to hear it,” Jensen says, just to hear himself talk.
Jared closes his one unswollen eye again and Jensen wonders if he’s gone back to sleep. Then Jared takes a breath and opens his eye again and says in his breathed-too-much-smoke voice, “Look, do I know you?”
The ridiculousness of the whole thing hits Jensen then and he feels himself blushing for the first time in forever. He rubs at the back of his neck, feeling the short bristle of recently cut hair against his palm. “Nah. I just--I ended up with your dogs, and when I came to leave a note about that, the nurses said you didn’t have any emergency contact coming to sit with you so I figured I was better than nothing. Y’know?”
Jared makes a funny wheeze and his lips curl like he might be trying to smile.
“Thank god,” he says and coughs. “I thought maybe I had amnesia and forgot my own boyfriend or something. And you. I wouldn’t want to forget that.”
Jensen's really glad Jared closes his eyes again because blushing twice in one day is just so uncool and he’d hate to have a witness to that.
Jared seems to sleep for maybe a minute and then wakes with a such a start that Jensen reaches out a hand to steady him on the bed to keep him from pulling the tubes and wires out.
“Dogs! My dogs.” And Jensen thinks maybe he should call a nurse but Jared settles down again after the outburst.
“They’re okay?” Jared asks and Jensen resists brushing a strand of hair from his face.
“They’re fine. Took them to the vet, clean bill of health and everything.”
Jared makes this hitching wheeze of a breath and it’s not a laugh this time. “Oh god. I remember the ceiling fell in and they were crying. Screaming. Never heard that before. God it was awful.”
“They saved your life,” Jensen says. This conversation is suddenly so much more serious than he would like and he remembers this is why he doesn’t go visit the guys he rescues in the hospital. He’s already started though and he tells Jared the rest of the story, “I could hear them even through the sound of the respirator and the static on the radio. I’d never heard anything like it either but I knew somebody was hurting.”
Jared swallows and frowns. “You were here before. In uniform. You got me out?”
Jensen shrugs. “Just doin’ my job.”
Jared looks him up and down with his good eye and Jensen feels the color rising in his cheeks again. What is it with this guy? For serious.
“You got me out. Shouldn’t you be…bigger?”
Jensen drawls a sly “I’ve never had any complaints on size before.”
Jared snickers again. “Sorry I’m so huge.” Jensen smirks and Jared fakes a glare. “So much to carry down three flights of stairs, you ass. The other I ain't apologizing for.”
And Jensen realizes with a start that he’s flirting with a guy in a hospital bed. With a guy whose dogs he’s taking care of and someone who owes him his life. It’s too much. Too intimate, too personal. He can’t fuck Jared and then kick him out of bed. There’s a reason Jensen isn’t friends with the guys he fucks.
“So why am I the only one here at your bedside,” Jensen asks to derail the conversation.
Jared turns his head and Jensen's pretty sure he just poked at a sore spot. It’s probably better this way though. Put a little distance between them early. Give the kid a glimpse of the jerk Jensen can be.
“You’re a little old for a runaway,” Jensen adds and Jared shakes his head.
“Just came to town,” Jared whispers at last. “I’ve only been here a few weeks and I don’t really know anybody here. My parents…I was supposed to go to college but I went to LA instead. To be an actor. I don’t want…I don’t want to go home yet and I don’t want them to worry. I’m not dying and my dogs are taken care of. I’ll call them when it’s all over.”
Jensen sighs and wishes he hadn’t asked.
The nurse comes in to give Jared more painkillers or something and Jensen takes the chance to get the hell out of Dodge. He pushes out of the chair and gets out of the nurse’s way.
“Look,” he says and his voice sounds harsh even to himself. “If you love them and they love you, you need to let them know. Don’t be such an ass.” Like me.
“Whatever, man,” Jared mutters and Jensen is satisfied that whatever little crush Jared might have had is cut off at the knees.
Better this way, he tells himself as he rides the elevator down. Better for everybody.
Jensen doesn't deal well with boredom.
Jensen isn’t made for idleness. It fits him worse than a tux and he fidgets his way through some stupid reality TV bullshit and goes to the store to buy brushes and treats for the dogs and goes through his fitness regiment again.
He considers calling Rick, because angry sex can be really hot sometimes. He thinks might have broken the dude’s nose though so that might be angrier than he’s looking for.
On the third walk of the day some pretty blonde comes up and compliments him on his dogs and asks all “Awww the poor widdle puppy hurt her pawsie wawsie” what happened to Girl’s foot and any plan Jensen had of taking her home and fucking her (or maybe taking her by the station to show off to the guys) fades. He drops whatever line about special rescue dogs and would she like to see his badge that he was about to use on her.
There’s something wrong with him. Something completely dysfunctional.
He goes home and stretches out on the couch and wishes to god he had a job to go to in the morning. Girl nuzzles her nose into his hand and he pets her ears as he closes his eyes. He promises himself that if nothing interesting happens tomorrow he’s gonna drink himself into a splendid drunkenness but he knows it’s a lie.
All his friends though? The ones he doesn’t fuck? They’re getting calls until he finds someone who isn’t busy because this being bored shit sucks.
=======
Jensen wakes up with Girl’s weight on his chest again and Dog knocking the stack of overdue DVDs off of his coffee table. It’s been like a month since Chris talked him into renting the videos and he really should take those back one of these days.
He is totally psyched to have a better day than the previous. He gets the dogs ready for their morning (okay, late-morning, but it’s still morning) walk and goes through the names in his phone book. He starts calling while Dog takes a dump in the little strip of grass outside of his apartment and quickly decides he needs new friends. He gets three variations of “I don’t get off work until blah blah later” and two of “I’ve only been in bed a few hours, you asshole.”
Which leaves him so bored that he should get nailed. Or at least laid. He snickers to himself and Girl leans against him. Poor thing, tired again. Which means walking is over for a while and he’s got nothing to do for another long afternoon.
He gets the dogs home and then leaves again because he can think of one guy who isn’t working. He might be sleeping but Jensen thinks it’s worth the shot. ‘Cause Jared? He’s goin’ nowhere.
=======
The nurses let Jensen into Jared’s room a lot easier the second time around. They guy’s out cold again but his color looks a little better. Jensen closes one eye and holds up his hand to block out the damaged half of the young man’s face and decides he’s kinda cute. In a sleeping sort of way.
Jensen sits in the chair by his bedside. He can be patient. And quiet. He can. And if the leg of the chair scrapes noisily on the floor or Jensen gets a hair in his throat and can’t stop the coughing fit, it’s not a sign that he has the attention span of a four-year-old, right?
Jared stirs with a slurred “Wha?” and Jensen thinks maybe planning the next step of their acquaintance might have been a good step.
“Hey,” he says, feeling kinda stupid. “How you feeling?”
Jared thinks about it for a second. “Alive,” he decides.
“Glad to hear it,” Jensen says, just to hear himself talk.
Jared closes his one unswollen eye again and Jensen wonders if he’s gone back to sleep. Then Jared takes a breath and opens his eye again and says in his breathed-too-much-smoke voice, “Look, do I know you?”
The ridiculousness of the whole thing hits Jensen then and he feels himself blushing for the first time in forever. He rubs at the back of his neck, feeling the short bristle of recently cut hair against his palm. “Nah. I just--I ended up with your dogs, and when I came to leave a note about that, the nurses said you didn’t have any emergency contact coming to sit with you so I figured I was better than nothing. Y’know?”
Jared makes a funny wheeze and his lips curl like he might be trying to smile.
“Thank god,” he says and coughs. “I thought maybe I had amnesia and forgot my own boyfriend or something. And you. I wouldn’t want to forget that.”
Jensen's really glad Jared closes his eyes again because blushing twice in one day is just so uncool and he’d hate to have a witness to that.
Jared seems to sleep for maybe a minute and then wakes with a such a start that Jensen reaches out a hand to steady him on the bed to keep him from pulling the tubes and wires out.
“Dogs! My dogs.” And Jensen thinks maybe he should call a nurse but Jared settles down again after the outburst.
“They’re okay?” Jared asks and Jensen resists brushing a strand of hair from his face.
“They’re fine. Took them to the vet, clean bill of health and everything.”
Jared makes this hitching wheeze of a breath and it’s not a laugh this time. “Oh god. I remember the ceiling fell in and they were crying. Screaming. Never heard that before. God it was awful.”
“They saved your life,” Jensen says. This conversation is suddenly so much more serious than he would like and he remembers this is why he doesn’t go visit the guys he rescues in the hospital. He’s already started though and he tells Jared the rest of the story, “I could hear them even through the sound of the respirator and the static on the radio. I’d never heard anything like it either but I knew somebody was hurting.”
Jared swallows and frowns. “You were here before. In uniform. You got me out?”
Jensen shrugs. “Just doin’ my job.”
Jared looks him up and down with his good eye and Jensen feels the color rising in his cheeks again. What is it with this guy? For serious.
“You got me out. Shouldn’t you be…bigger?”
Jensen drawls a sly “I’ve never had any complaints on size before.”
Jared snickers again. “Sorry I’m so huge.” Jensen smirks and Jared fakes a glare. “So much to carry down three flights of stairs, you ass. The other I ain't apologizing for.”
And Jensen realizes with a start that he’s flirting with a guy in a hospital bed. With a guy whose dogs he’s taking care of and someone who owes him his life. It’s too much. Too intimate, too personal. He can’t fuck Jared and then kick him out of bed. There’s a reason Jensen isn’t friends with the guys he fucks.
“So why am I the only one here at your bedside,” Jensen asks to derail the conversation.
Jared turns his head and Jensen's pretty sure he just poked at a sore spot. It’s probably better this way though. Put a little distance between them early. Give the kid a glimpse of the jerk Jensen can be.
“You’re a little old for a runaway,” Jensen adds and Jared shakes his head.
“Just came to town,” Jared whispers at last. “I’ve only been here a few weeks and I don’t really know anybody here. My parents…I was supposed to go to college but I went to LA instead. To be an actor. I don’t want…I don’t want to go home yet and I don’t want them to worry. I’m not dying and my dogs are taken care of. I’ll call them when it’s all over.”
Jensen sighs and wishes he hadn’t asked.
The nurse comes in to give Jared more painkillers or something and Jensen takes the chance to get the hell out of Dodge. He pushes out of the chair and gets out of the nurse’s way.
“Look,” he says and his voice sounds harsh even to himself. “If you love them and they love you, you need to let them know. Don’t be such an ass.” Like me.
“Whatever, man,” Jared mutters and Jensen is satisfied that whatever little crush Jared might have had is cut off at the knees.
Better this way, he tells himself as he rides the elevator down. Better for everybody.