Comments | ladyjanelly: The Weapon, ch 3

ladyjanelly

The Weapon, ch 3

Jan 08, 2010 14:47

Karl Urban. Matt Damon. Kept!verse
Short chapter but it kinda needs to break there. More soon.

( The Mask )

karl urban, kept!verse, matt damon, weapon

Comments 12

1orelei January 9 2010, 17:50:52 UTC

Am adoring the... switch if you will... that instead of a slave analyzing how to please master, we've a master analyzing the motivations behind a slave. (Not that masters can't be briefly obsessed by a shiny new toy, but the whole society of slavery is established, so while it may be a new situation/slave for them, it's not new.)

I suppose you've summed it all up pretty with: And that’s the real difference. That Karl isn’t afraid of him. Wouldn’t be even if Matt had started their day by whipping the skin off of Karl’s back.

ladyjanelly January 10 2010, 03:50:26 UTC

Heh. I'm having a lot of fun messing with the usual master/slave template. Speaking of the switch, I was surprised to not get a comment about Karl collaring Matt with the tie.

Matt's sure got his work cut out for him. One dangerous pet on a long leash.

1orelei January 11 2010, 02:03:22 UTC

It's not a common mindset (even in fiction) for me, so I'm not surprised I didn't notice. Still, now that you've told me... that was nicely done ( ... )

ladyjanelly January 12 2010, 03:43:40 UTC

I think you're absolutely right about the "Sir" and diversion issue, and about his personal risk by choking a human killing machine. I've definitely got some re-writes to do, and i'm so glad you pointed these out. I may have gotten so excited about writing and so caught in the moment that all the stuff in my head didn't make it to the screen.

Thank you so much.
-J

rednihilist January 10 2010, 22:53:39 UTC

I feel bad, but I have no words beyond "More please?"

Matt's head is a different place to be, isn't it? I don't think I've ever read narration quite like his before -- and I mean that in a good way. :)

ladyjanelly January 12 2010, 03:45:49 UTC

Matt's an interesting character to write. He's pulled in so many different directions, so many layers of motivation. It's hard to show all that's going on and what's at stake for him and I think I missed some stuff in chapter 2 that shold have been there.
Major re-writing'll need to be done at some point before I totally pimp this out to every Karl Urban/Kept!verse/fic site that'll have it.
(also, ch 4 is up now.) :)