Just Real Quick
I never write public blogs, so if anyone comes across this blog site of mine they w ill probably think I never write it in. I write TONS of private stuff, but only my Seattle sisters can see b/c this is where the depths of my soul goes to when I need someone to read it. Was that cheesy enough? :)
The memorial was really great. Instead of writing a whole lot I will write the top 5 things that stood out to me:
1. Megan, my brothers kid aka my niece, made a dvd of pictures of Michele and Kasi wept. The convulsing seizure kind. But luckily I buried my face into Rane and unfortunately I was in the front row directly in front of the big screen. So whoever saw the screen saw me convulsing.
2. Her son Alan cried. It was the saddest thing in the free world. He is super handsome but handicap and in a wheelchair. He can't really move or talk that great, but he does ok. They expect him to be in advanced in recovery years from now. He was such a sweetheart, but seeing someone in that state cry was so sad... he can't really express it softly or be modest, he pretty much was all out there whether he cared or not. We all didn't care ofcourse, we love for people to express themselves! It was just sad /o_o\
3. Kenny sang Blessed be the Name of the Lord and Victory in Jesus on guitar w/ Arnold on guitar and Tracy on keyboard. It was a sweet worship time. It felt really good to worship. It was encouraging seeing Kenny's strength
4. The flowers. I know it's shallow, say what you will, but the flowers were gorgeous. Karen did a beautiful job. She did Michele's flowers for her wedding. It was weird b/c I actually thought that, and how pastor married Kenny and Michele and was now one of the speakers at her memorial. I kept laughing at myself saying that pastor was the "eugooglizer" and that him and Tracy both had a "eugoogley" to perform. what can I say. People handle grief differently. Mine was doing bad Zoolander impressions.
5. The entire ceremony was sweet. The people that said nice things and the people that came out of the woodwork to show their support. When we got there (we got there like 5 minutes before it started) the front row on the left was totally empty so we sat there and got Rane's sis Casey to sit w/ us to be w/ Isabel. Then we got his mom and dad to come up and sit by us. So my row was my beautiful, wonderful, supportive in-loves. I couldn't of been more proud to have that side of my family on my left and then my parents on my right.
Ok ok one more thing is a family friend got up and talked about all of us and we ALL cracked up when she said she was there when I got off the plane and then later became a U.S. citizen... I died laughing. You might as well of called me wetback and said I swam across the river or something. Or perhaps a potato loving Irish fresh off the boat. I loved her the most though! Grandma Jo was hilarious and sweet and I want to be exactly like her when I reach mid 60's. She was such a hoot!!! But yes. I know she loves me and I'm not just Kasi the Immigrant to her LOL But yeah seeing all those people, I was sooo blessed. I had some awkward moments with others at the memorial, but I can't talk about it if it's on my public post. There are some people that handle grieving your loved ones by wanting you to replace that void. They don't realize in their grief, that is unfair to ask of someone and dealing with that void is something we all have to make peace with. One of Meg's lil gal friends came alone and I asked where her mom was and she said, "Well my mom said her heart can't really take anymore of this," :( :( :( Poor lady. So I tried to tell the lil gal that I appreciated that and to tell her we love her and that we are all here together in this and the lil gal being like 11 pretty much spaced out and didn't care. I was like O.o ... um.... LOL Then I realized I really can't expect her to relay all that to her mom and for her as an 11 yr old to realize the pain on the level of her mom isn't something she can get right now. So. Moving on I guess. *shrugs* Hehe
Anyways the other awkward moment is when people hurt, but show it all spazzy like. This is gonna sound insanely selfish and rude but... it's rude and selfish. For people to act hurt and emo to family b/c they think it heightens the pain of the loss is just... weird. Calm down. Breath. Michele is in heaven, we are her family, we love and miss her, but we have peace. Hurt. Sadness. But peace. So calm. The frik. Down. Like the lil gal's mom... I wish she was there at the memorial, because everyone walked away celebrating her life and praising Jesus for his awesomeness in this whole thing. And knowing she is better then we can ever imagine, hell, I'm jealous of Michele. Those of us that know our God as Father, KNOW how good He is being to her. So I feel terrible, but I just wish the people without faith and peace would know how her close family feels about her now and that it is what SHE BELIEVED whole heartedly too. Ok I'm all blogged out and panting now for water. I am glad I wrote all that...
The memorial was really great. Instead of writing a whole lot I will write the top 5 things that stood out to me:
1. Megan, my brothers kid aka my niece, made a dvd of pictures of Michele and Kasi wept. The convulsing seizure kind. But luckily I buried my face into Rane and unfortunately I was in the front row directly in front of the big screen. So whoever saw the screen saw me convulsing.
2. Her son Alan cried. It was the saddest thing in the free world. He is super handsome but handicap and in a wheelchair. He can't really move or talk that great, but he does ok. They expect him to be in advanced in recovery years from now. He was such a sweetheart, but seeing someone in that state cry was so sad... he can't really express it softly or be modest, he pretty much was all out there whether he cared or not. We all didn't care ofcourse, we love for people to express themselves! It was just sad /o_o\
3. Kenny sang Blessed be the Name of the Lord and Victory in Jesus on guitar w/ Arnold on guitar and Tracy on keyboard. It was a sweet worship time. It felt really good to worship. It was encouraging seeing Kenny's strength
4. The flowers. I know it's shallow, say what you will, but the flowers were gorgeous. Karen did a beautiful job. She did Michele's flowers for her wedding. It was weird b/c I actually thought that, and how pastor married Kenny and Michele and was now one of the speakers at her memorial. I kept laughing at myself saying that pastor was the "eugooglizer" and that him and Tracy both had a "eugoogley" to perform. what can I say. People handle grief differently. Mine was doing bad Zoolander impressions.
5. The entire ceremony was sweet. The people that said nice things and the people that came out of the woodwork to show their support. When we got there (we got there like 5 minutes before it started) the front row on the left was totally empty so we sat there and got Rane's sis Casey to sit w/ us to be w/ Isabel. Then we got his mom and dad to come up and sit by us. So my row was my beautiful, wonderful, supportive in-loves. I couldn't of been more proud to have that side of my family on my left and then my parents on my right.
Ok ok one more thing is a family friend got up and talked about all of us and we ALL cracked up when she said she was there when I got off the plane and then later became a U.S. citizen... I died laughing. You might as well of called me wetback and said I swam across the river or something. Or perhaps a potato loving Irish fresh off the boat. I loved her the most though! Grandma Jo was hilarious and sweet and I want to be exactly like her when I reach mid 60's. She was such a hoot!!! But yes. I know she loves me and I'm not just Kasi the Immigrant to her LOL But yeah seeing all those people, I was sooo blessed. I had some awkward moments with others at the memorial, but I can't talk about it if it's on my public post. There are some people that handle grieving your loved ones by wanting you to replace that void. They don't realize in their grief, that is unfair to ask of someone and dealing with that void is something we all have to make peace with. One of Meg's lil gal friends came alone and I asked where her mom was and she said, "Well my mom said her heart can't really take anymore of this," :( :( :( Poor lady. So I tried to tell the lil gal that I appreciated that and to tell her we love her and that we are all here together in this and the lil gal being like 11 pretty much spaced out and didn't care. I was like O.o ... um.... LOL Then I realized I really can't expect her to relay all that to her mom and for her as an 11 yr old to realize the pain on the level of her mom isn't something she can get right now. So. Moving on I guess. *shrugs* Hehe
Anyways the other awkward moment is when people hurt, but show it all spazzy like. This is gonna sound insanely selfish and rude but... it's rude and selfish. For people to act hurt and emo to family b/c they think it heightens the pain of the loss is just... weird. Calm down. Breath. Michele is in heaven, we are her family, we love and miss her, but we have peace. Hurt. Sadness. But peace. So calm. The frik. Down. Like the lil gal's mom... I wish she was there at the memorial, because everyone walked away celebrating her life and praising Jesus for his awesomeness in this whole thing. And knowing she is better then we can ever imagine, hell, I'm jealous of Michele. Those of us that know our God as Father, KNOW how good He is being to her. So I feel terrible, but I just wish the people without faith and peace would know how her close family feels about her now and that it is what SHE BELIEVED whole heartedly too. Ok I'm all blogged out and panting now for water. I am glad I wrote all that...