So much for my great day

[ladylynxa]

I was having a really great day. I decided I wanted to grab burritos for dinner, so I called Jim to see if that was ok, but he was worried his burrito would be cold. To solve this problem, I hung out at panera till 5:30, when Jim said he was leaving work. All was good

Comments

[purplkat]

Sam is this way in a lot of respects. Sometimes I think it's just that he doesn't see that things are dirty. But sometimes it's that he really 'intends to get around to it' over and over again and never does. Initially, we fought about it a lot, and then finally I decided that it just wasn't worth fighting about anymore, and that I would clean the things I wanted cleaned and make sure the things I wanted done got taken care of and I would leave everything else be.

To put it another way: If you don't want to be the mother anymore, stop being the mother.

I do think it's just good manners to phone his mother and let her know what's up, though. If she gives you trouble, you can tell her to talk to him about it and put him on the spot or whatever, but acting graciously with his family isn't just taking care of him -- it's taking care of you. And if they have any brains at all, they'll figure out what's what pretty soon. (If they haven't already!)

[dilatedeyes]

I have to again state that while it is tempting to "fight fire with fire," you aren't going to get what you want by doing anything drastic. Quitting your job out of spite isn't going to fix anything, he's just going to get even more angry. While making him angry is going to make things better in the short term.. in the long run? It's just going to create even more issues, way more severe than him not cleaning.

I really, really think counseling would seriously help. There's a communication problem, you're not willing to discuss what's wrong: "Jim insists on know what was wrong. I refuse, he's like clearly somethings upseting you so I explain.." , and he shuts down after you DO open up. Just think of it as preventing the situation from blowing up 100x worse.

[dilatedeyes]

p.s. I've heard of people reading the meter to the utility companies over the phone so perhaps if you call and explain that you both work and it's impossible to be home, they'd allow it?