i like going on thefacebook.com and looking at freshmen who all apparently have majors and relationships and one hundred friends. kudos to you, freshmen ( Read more... )

today i studied people's faces and clothes and decided in a cluster of minutes whether they were better poets than i. most of them were. one girl had a skirt hewn of several rough materials and a shirt with pen markings on it and serious eyes! i have no chance. however, louise gluck spoke these words to me: "katie kadue, yes, i have your ( Read more... )

my entries need more pictures. pictures pictures pictures. aside from that it's not my journal that needs improvement but my life which may be the same thing. cultivate obsessions and paranoias, but even it out with drugs lots of drugs and happiness. maybe love. they may be the same thing. also do we really need to talk about "philosophy" and ( Read more... )

last night i drank daiquiris and could not taste the very strong tequila and that is how i know i'm an alcoholic. also: cheap wine mixed with coke. and in the back of an a capella concert because it is a good place to drink ( Read more... )

last night i subversively undeleted oskar's journal. it was something of a miracle. oskar knows me better than anyone else, but in a glib, socratic way. also subversive ( Read more... )

yesterday i almost died. i conducted several intense discussions about my life. nothing is weird. i complained to everyone i knew about not having sheets. i received negligible sympathy. my only consolations were an intimate encounter with a russian in the storage room and the purchase of used books. i slept fitfully. today ben returned from ( Read more... )

purpose:
stave off messiness
succeed academically

method:
no drinking
no drugs
no boys

so far:
so good

i should sleep but have no sheets or should shower but have no towels. maybe i will find boys to haul the far-away heavy boxes containing my sheets and towels. college makes me really interesting.

last night abram took me to a fancy dinner. i tried to be classy but failed of course, so i thought i might as well just drink abram's wine. this sparked a discussion of how classy chrissie is, and how if we had all the money in the world we just could not put ourselves together like that. true to form & despite my great happiness i proceeded to ( Read more... )

it's true, i have the emotional maturity of a twelve-year-old and there's nothing i can do about it, because that would take work & i am twelve so work is too hard ( Read more... )

projects to commence the moment i return to school ( Read more... )