they push me back and wanna stay......
so i had a good experience tonight, and wanted to share it with you guys, and i don't know, i guess maybe i'm justifying saying it, but i thought some of you might be encouraged by the idea that some people can deal with it better than you think they can.
so the guy who likes me knew that i used to touch the stove, but i never told him i don't think that i graduated to matches. or anything that came past that.
but after the experience with his friend the other night, i asked him why he said to drop it, and he said he didn't like to think of my having burned, and the conversation bothered him (see previous post).
so tonight when we're talking about our screwed up little friendship, i feel like i should tell him more, and i tell him that i'm more messed up than he knows, though he may have inferred it. and i tell him that i graduated to matches. and that i am a "recovering" self-inflictor, not a "recovered" one. (when he asked incredulously, you're still doing it?????).
and he really dealt with it well. he said he wished i never would get to that place. but when i said that i saw it basically as the same thing as smoking or drinking to deal with stress, (none of which we should do and all of which are bad for your health) he agreed. he said he could see it the same way. and the difference really was the stigma attached. and he speculated a bit as to where the stigma came from.
i guess i just wanted to share a good sharing experience. and that it doesn't freak everyone out. i'm still not dating him. ;O). but it felt good to have him so open-minded.
God bless!!!!!!,
-merab