(no subject)
Ugh.
Can't sleep. Can't breathe right. Before I can say anything else whenever this subject comes up, however, I keep getting told, "You should do a sleep apnea test! You probably need a c-pap machien!" as if that's the new fad cure-all for sleep deprivation. Atkins Diet! Gluten Freedom! C-Pap Marching Band Razzle Dazle! ...Hold still while I load my shotgun, will ya?
Yes, it helps people. I know several people who are helped by it. But I can tell you right now that I would be so uncomfortable from having a machine strapped onto my face, forcing air into my nose, that I could not sleep. (I cannot even inhale helium. Please stop telling me what I need to do, as you don't fucking know how my body works. I do. Not you. Not to mention I doubt my insurance would pay for it. Are you going to? Because if you'll pay for it 100%, I'll take the test. Won't use the machine, though.)
No, I'm going to tell you why I can't breathe. Allergies. ALLERGIES. Nothing a c-pap machine could help with. AL LER GIES. Biological histaminic overreaction to a specific stimulant.
Ever since I came back from Texas & LoneStarCon, I've been allergic to feathers. I've changed out my bedding, even done some vacuuming in hard-to-reach spots in my bedroom, but nope, still have featherdust all over. (That's what happens when you sleep with feather pillows and feather comforters/duvets for years. It gets everywhere. Can I clean my room any better than that? ...You want to pay to have my carpets ripped out and replaced with bamboo hardwood flooring? ...No? Shaddup.)
So I'm sitting here, it's hours past my bedtime, I'm cranky as hell from tiredness, waiting for the allergy meds to kick in, oh, and now that I'm awake for X number of hours, my body is insisting I'm hungry. Again. >.o (I have bribed it with peanutbutter filled pretzels and a cup of milk. My body is easily bribable with certain foods; the peanutbutter in the pretzel is very satisfying.)
The advent of youtube and google and wikipedia has made a lot of people feel like they're "in the know" about various medical conditions, so on and so forth. Now, I myself am guilty of this! But please, don't push just one option onto people as if it's the be-all and end-all of cures. Just don't do it. Also, don't assume that because I'm fat, I need a c-pap machine. My father's skinny and he needs one. I need allergy meds, not a damned machine.
I also need sleep. And I need several uninterrupted days in which I can write. And I need the fridge to work right, and my next cheque to be huge, and for things to stop costing so damned fucking much. And for people to stop interrupting me when I am trying to work, however well-meaning. I'm not getting nearly enough work done right now because I can't sleep.
And when I do sleep? I sweat. I just sunk $50 into 9 headbands that are due to arrive today or tomorrow with good luck. The post-reduction surgery has left my upper body, from the neck and shoulders up, a major sweat factory. I literally drip--literally drip, not figuratively, but actual droplets breaking away and falling from my skin--just doing any sort of activity that involves physical movement above a gentle walk, or cooking over a hot stove, things of that nature. I think even my eyelids are sweating these days. >.<
So all my synthetic pillows are soaked in sweat, waking me up with clammy blecchness. Unless and until (hopefully they will!) my lymph nodes reconnect themselves across the large amount of scar tissue bisecting the front half of my torso, all the way into my armpits...I'm going to keep sweating like a tropical rainforest showerhead. I'm having to drink gatorade and powerade every single day. I mix it up half-strength so it's more effective (yes, it is more effective at half-strength), but I still need it.
You know how you can tell if you need to drink that stuff? That shit tastes good. If it tastes good, your tastebuds are simply telling you that your body needs to replace the salts and minerals and liquids (and sugar to get it through the intestinal wall all the easier) which you've been sweating out of your body. Back in June, when I went up to B.C. to visit with relatives on a day that was 85F or hotter in the shade, visiting a house with no A/C, I discovered that my ponytail braid was dripping. Hairband at the scalp, the ponytail braided, another band at the end. You'd think the first band would've stopped the sweat from wicking, but no. Dripping.
Do I regret the surgery? No. Words cannot adequately describe--and I am a wordsmith--how much better I feel now that they've lifted a literal five pounds off my chest. (Over 2.2kg.) But I have to deal with nightsweats on top of everything else. The allergies. Also some tmi issues going on with my nether bits. Interruptions by phonecall spammers/phishers/whatevers at godawful hours. Sears repairmen visits that get fucking cancelled without telling me. A fridge that does shit like letting the ice cream melt and freezes a hardboiled egg at random intervals.
Oh, and having to find a highly competent gynecological surgeon who accepts my health insurance program so I can have my damned uterus sporked out, because I also get hotsweats when I'm not sleeping, or trying to sleep. Joy.
...You want to help? Tell everyone how awesome my books are. Money at this point is my biggest concern. Get me famous overnight. You think I write stuff that's miles better than certain "overnight sensation" novelists? Put your money where your mouth is. Put your effort where your mouth is.
Because I want to be able to afford to keep my house. I want to be able to afford to keep paying health insurance. I want to be able to get rid of this damned useless organ that bleeds so heavily, I have to change my tampon nearly every single hour while upright for 2+ days in a week-long period, and will still have moments of even heavier flow than that. And if I can't get a surgeon to schedule its removal before the end of this year, now that I've met my out-of-pocket and deductible, I'll have to shell out more thousands of dollars next year. Money I don't have to spare.
...I'd also like to have all my trampled, worn, stained, allergen-retaining carpets removed and replaced with easily swept bamboo flooring and easily cleaned area rugs. Oh, and air-conditioning. Because I'm going to have to try going back to sleep in just a little bit, when the allergy meds finish kicking in, and I just know I'm going to sweat. Again.
~Lotm
Can't sleep. Can't breathe right. Before I can say anything else whenever this subject comes up, however, I keep getting told, "You should do a sleep apnea test! You probably need a c-pap machien!" as if that's the new fad cure-all for sleep deprivation. Atkins Diet! Gluten Freedom! C-Pap Marching Band Razzle Dazle! ...Hold still while I load my shotgun, will ya?
Yes, it helps people. I know several people who are helped by it. But I can tell you right now that I would be so uncomfortable from having a machine strapped onto my face, forcing air into my nose, that I could not sleep. (I cannot even inhale helium. Please stop telling me what I need to do, as you don't fucking know how my body works. I do. Not you. Not to mention I doubt my insurance would pay for it. Are you going to? Because if you'll pay for it 100%, I'll take the test. Won't use the machine, though.)
No, I'm going to tell you why I can't breathe. Allergies. ALLERGIES. Nothing a c-pap machine could help with. AL LER GIES. Biological histaminic overreaction to a specific stimulant.
Ever since I came back from Texas & LoneStarCon, I've been allergic to feathers. I've changed out my bedding, even done some vacuuming in hard-to-reach spots in my bedroom, but nope, still have featherdust all over. (That's what happens when you sleep with feather pillows and feather comforters/duvets for years. It gets everywhere. Can I clean my room any better than that? ...You want to pay to have my carpets ripped out and replaced with bamboo hardwood flooring? ...No? Shaddup.)
So I'm sitting here, it's hours past my bedtime, I'm cranky as hell from tiredness, waiting for the allergy meds to kick in, oh, and now that I'm awake for X number of hours, my body is insisting I'm hungry. Again. >.o (I have bribed it with peanutbutter filled pretzels and a cup of milk. My body is easily bribable with certain foods; the peanutbutter in the pretzel is very satisfying.)
The advent of youtube and google and wikipedia has made a lot of people feel like they're "in the know" about various medical conditions, so on and so forth. Now, I myself am guilty of this! But please, don't push just one option onto people as if it's the be-all and end-all of cures. Just don't do it. Also, don't assume that because I'm fat, I need a c-pap machine. My father's skinny and he needs one. I need allergy meds, not a damned machine.
I also need sleep. And I need several uninterrupted days in which I can write. And I need the fridge to work right, and my next cheque to be huge, and for things to stop costing so damned fucking much. And for people to stop interrupting me when I am trying to work, however well-meaning. I'm not getting nearly enough work done right now because I can't sleep.
And when I do sleep? I sweat. I just sunk $50 into 9 headbands that are due to arrive today or tomorrow with good luck. The post-reduction surgery has left my upper body, from the neck and shoulders up, a major sweat factory. I literally drip--literally drip, not figuratively, but actual droplets breaking away and falling from my skin--just doing any sort of activity that involves physical movement above a gentle walk, or cooking over a hot stove, things of that nature. I think even my eyelids are sweating these days. >.<
So all my synthetic pillows are soaked in sweat, waking me up with clammy blecchness. Unless and until (hopefully they will!) my lymph nodes reconnect themselves across the large amount of scar tissue bisecting the front half of my torso, all the way into my armpits...I'm going to keep sweating like a tropical rainforest showerhead. I'm having to drink gatorade and powerade every single day. I mix it up half-strength so it's more effective (yes, it is more effective at half-strength), but I still need it.
You know how you can tell if you need to drink that stuff? That shit tastes good. If it tastes good, your tastebuds are simply telling you that your body needs to replace the salts and minerals and liquids (and sugar to get it through the intestinal wall all the easier) which you've been sweating out of your body. Back in June, when I went up to B.C. to visit with relatives on a day that was 85F or hotter in the shade, visiting a house with no A/C, I discovered that my ponytail braid was dripping. Hairband at the scalp, the ponytail braided, another band at the end. You'd think the first band would've stopped the sweat from wicking, but no. Dripping.
Do I regret the surgery? No. Words cannot adequately describe--and I am a wordsmith--how much better I feel now that they've lifted a literal five pounds off my chest. (Over 2.2kg.) But I have to deal with nightsweats on top of everything else. The allergies. Also some tmi issues going on with my nether bits. Interruptions by phonecall spammers/phishers/whatevers at godawful hours. Sears repairmen visits that get fucking cancelled without telling me. A fridge that does shit like letting the ice cream melt and freezes a hardboiled egg at random intervals.
Oh, and having to find a highly competent gynecological surgeon who accepts my health insurance program so I can have my damned uterus sporked out, because I also get hotsweats when I'm not sleeping, or trying to sleep. Joy.
...You want to help? Tell everyone how awesome my books are. Money at this point is my biggest concern. Get me famous overnight. You think I write stuff that's miles better than certain "overnight sensation" novelists? Put your money where your mouth is. Put your effort where your mouth is.
Because I want to be able to afford to keep my house. I want to be able to afford to keep paying health insurance. I want to be able to get rid of this damned useless organ that bleeds so heavily, I have to change my tampon nearly every single hour while upright for 2+ days in a week-long period, and will still have moments of even heavier flow than that. And if I can't get a surgeon to schedule its removal before the end of this year, now that I've met my out-of-pocket and deductible, I'll have to shell out more thousands of dollars next year. Money I don't have to spare.
...I'd also like to have all my trampled, worn, stained, allergen-retaining carpets removed and replaced with easily swept bamboo flooring and easily cleaned area rugs. Oh, and air-conditioning. Because I'm going to have to try going back to sleep in just a little bit, when the allergy meds finish kicking in, and I just know I'm going to sweat. Again.
~Lotm