Lead the Way - Chapter 058 - Sorina
What a miserable week. I miss my gf, I have mood swings and cramps, it seems to be really hot only when I have to stay in and all I have to keep my mind off things is Dr. Who. Which in theory, would be good enough. Sadly though I find myself just at that time when most of the episodes were lost and I mostly get fuzzy, blurry, b/w pictures with a ton of white noise and some AHHHH DOCTOR thrown in. One thing's for sure though, it's less stressful than last week :D
So this is the chapter that follows the ominous break up. Honestly I expected harsher comments. Or maybe people just don't take the time when they're angry. I wanted to say that I get that you are frustrated with the way things are at the moment. Well a while back I reminded you that when JJ returns in Cold Comfort her seeing Emily again is frosty at best.
Clearly, at that point, they are not in a loving relationship and confess their undying love every night. But I didn't want to drag them through six more months of back and forth and might she? will she? could I? It had to be a break up. Especially with that flashing of the ring. And given the dynamic of the scene Emily had to be the culprit...
(Can I just tell you guys how much I love my gf? :) She's been in pain for a week now, barely feeling alive enough to talk yet she manages to look out for me and tell me it's Thursday and I haven't posted yet. Is she the most awesome woman ever or what?)
Back to Em and JJ. So Emily had to mess up. Well the classic move here (judging from other fics) would have been that someone cheated. I am not going off into a discussing on when, how, how much or with whom it's okay or not - I don't see JJ or Emily doing that. Sneaking around when they feel like Unsubs because they're doing their jobs? Crying and almost breaking protocol because the job had them lying? I don't see it.
Something else had to be the reason for their break up. So I came up with this. Emotionally unavailable commitmentphobe Emily. Now tell me if that is irreconcilable with the Emily you see on screen? But as I said, this is not the end. JJ journey has come to an end although her brain has to catch up with her heart and body. Emily's journey is just beginning and you get to be along for the ride :)
Thank you to every one of you who's still reading and (hopefully) enjoying!
Lead the Way - 058 - Sorina
Sorina. It had been a long time since Emily had last thought about Sorina. She had met her in Romania while visting her mother who had been posted there. She hadn’t lied to Hotch about that. Telling him how she came to know what Pujule meant, would have been unprofessional. Emily was anything unprofessional. After Helena she had even considered herself professional in her private life. Professionalism was first and foremost showing no emotions.
One of the many lessons her mother had taught her. One of the few that had actually proven useful. It had been eight years since that function in Washington and Emily had changed her life drastically. She had finished up her studies at Yale, stopped seeing men and gone out only in gay bars. She had met Rocky and found friends, she had met Helena again, but neither of them had any intention of repeating what had happened.
Emily knew Helena liked screwing people in every sense of the word and she wouldn’t let that happen to her again. She was in control now. In control of her urges, in control of her life, in control of her future. Helena could still do considerable damage to her, if she decided to tell the Ambassador about their extracurricular activities and Emily chose not to interfere with her lifestyle.
Sometimes she saw a girl break out in tears when Helena walked into a room, but she said to herself, that she’d find out eventually. Lesbians did not have relationships. And if they did, it wouldn’t last long. Why waste months or years of your life on someone, when you knew they would leave eventually? Why get close to them, get to know them, let them get to know you? Only to miss them that much more?
Emily was in control now. She was just visiting her mother, who was posted in Romania at that time. Agent Prentiss had come to visit. It still sounded new to her, but she felt it fitted her like a glove. Agent Prentiss. It sounded as if she was in charge, important, in control.
The very first night of her stay Emily was introduced to Sorina. Unlike Emily, Sorina had followed in her parents’ footsteps and after going to L’ENA in Paris she had now joined her father’s political party. Immediately the FBI agent fell for Sorina. Flaming red hair, grey eyes, freckles all over her body, long lean legs, Emily couldn’t take it all in. More than the physical beauty Sorina oozed self confidence, attitude and style.
During her stay she had spent almost all of her time with the young politician. Much to her surprise Sorina was the absolute opposite of her mother. Passionate, funny and gay. Obviously the women couldn’t go out in public, but behind closed doors Emily came to be her Pujule.
My little chick. No one had ever given Emily a nick name. She had never been in a relationship, it had never occurred to her that she could ever be called anything other than Emily or Em. She had known of course, that her stay would eventually end, she would fly back to the States and Sorina would move on.
When that day came, Emily was in tears. Despite herself she had let Sorina in; she had shown her weaknesses and admired the other woman. In return she had been given comfort and love. After that Chicago didn’t seem like such a beautiful place anymore.
Several months later, Sorina rang on her door. She had come for a job interview at the Illinois Romanian-American Community and wanted to see Emily. Needless to say, she got the job and Emily and Sorina spent six months together. For Emily it was heavenly.
For the first time she had felt loved and loved back just as much. She felt safe and comfortable and she refused to acknowledge that this dream would end, that she had to wake up. Sorina and she never discussed what would happen after the contract expired and Emily was let herself believe they could have a future.
She fantasized about moving to Romania, she didn’t need to work, she didn’t need the money, she needed Sorina. And Sorina needed her, her Pujule.
Before she knew it, the day had come. Sorina had packed her bags and Emily’s heart broke into pieces. She had just come home from work and had obviously surprised her girlfriend.
“Where are you going?” She noticed the white envelope in Sorina’s hand.
“Home.”
“To Romania?” She couldn’t believe what she heard. It had been perfect, had it not? “What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?” Her accent wasn’t even noticeable any more.
“Will you… will I see you again?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Please don’t make this harder than it is, Pujule.” Tears ran down Emily’s cheeks and she couldn’t stop them. It was the first time she cried out of anything other than joy since Sorina had come to the US.
“Why not?”
“I’m getting married, next week.”
“What?” She had to sit down. Right now.
“I wanted to explain it to you.” Sorina held out the envelope.
“What you can say in a letter, you can tell me to my face.” She refused to give in.
“It is all arranged Emily, he is from a nice family and my parents are happy with the match.”
“Is this the 19th century? You’re gay, Sorina.”
“And you of all people should know that this is no way to live your life.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh grow up, Emily. You knew we couldn’t last.”
“Why?”
“For God’s sakes, I have a plane to catch. Just read the letter.”
“Why are you so cold? I’ve never seen you like this.”
“We are all responsible for our decisions Emily, don’t forget that.” Sorina left a totally confused Emily behind. She needed to leave before she would start crying herself. She didn’t want to get married to anyone but Emily but it was time to be a good daughter and make her parents proud.
So this is the chapter that follows the ominous break up. Honestly I expected harsher comments. Or maybe people just don't take the time when they're angry. I wanted to say that I get that you are frustrated with the way things are at the moment. Well a while back I reminded you that when JJ returns in Cold Comfort her seeing Emily again is frosty at best.
Clearly, at that point, they are not in a loving relationship and confess their undying love every night. But I didn't want to drag them through six more months of back and forth and might she? will she? could I? It had to be a break up. Especially with that flashing of the ring. And given the dynamic of the scene Emily had to be the culprit...
(Can I just tell you guys how much I love my gf? :) She's been in pain for a week now, barely feeling alive enough to talk yet she manages to look out for me and tell me it's Thursday and I haven't posted yet. Is she the most awesome woman ever or what?)
Back to Em and JJ. So Emily had to mess up. Well the classic move here (judging from other fics) would have been that someone cheated. I am not going off into a discussing on when, how, how much or with whom it's okay or not - I don't see JJ or Emily doing that. Sneaking around when they feel like Unsubs because they're doing their jobs? Crying and almost breaking protocol because the job had them lying? I don't see it.
Something else had to be the reason for their break up. So I came up with this. Emotionally unavailable commitmentphobe Emily. Now tell me if that is irreconcilable with the Emily you see on screen? But as I said, this is not the end. JJ journey has come to an end although her brain has to catch up with her heart and body. Emily's journey is just beginning and you get to be along for the ride :)
Thank you to every one of you who's still reading and (hopefully) enjoying!
Lead the Way - 058 - Sorina
Sorina. It had been a long time since Emily had last thought about Sorina. She had met her in Romania while visting her mother who had been posted there. She hadn’t lied to Hotch about that. Telling him how she came to know what Pujule meant, would have been unprofessional. Emily was anything unprofessional. After Helena she had even considered herself professional in her private life. Professionalism was first and foremost showing no emotions.
One of the many lessons her mother had taught her. One of the few that had actually proven useful. It had been eight years since that function in Washington and Emily had changed her life drastically. She had finished up her studies at Yale, stopped seeing men and gone out only in gay bars. She had met Rocky and found friends, she had met Helena again, but neither of them had any intention of repeating what had happened.
Emily knew Helena liked screwing people in every sense of the word and she wouldn’t let that happen to her again. She was in control now. In control of her urges, in control of her life, in control of her future. Helena could still do considerable damage to her, if she decided to tell the Ambassador about their extracurricular activities and Emily chose not to interfere with her lifestyle.
Sometimes she saw a girl break out in tears when Helena walked into a room, but she said to herself, that she’d find out eventually. Lesbians did not have relationships. And if they did, it wouldn’t last long. Why waste months or years of your life on someone, when you knew they would leave eventually? Why get close to them, get to know them, let them get to know you? Only to miss them that much more?
Emily was in control now. She was just visiting her mother, who was posted in Romania at that time. Agent Prentiss had come to visit. It still sounded new to her, but she felt it fitted her like a glove. Agent Prentiss. It sounded as if she was in charge, important, in control.
The very first night of her stay Emily was introduced to Sorina. Unlike Emily, Sorina had followed in her parents’ footsteps and after going to L’ENA in Paris she had now joined her father’s political party. Immediately the FBI agent fell for Sorina. Flaming red hair, grey eyes, freckles all over her body, long lean legs, Emily couldn’t take it all in. More than the physical beauty Sorina oozed self confidence, attitude and style.
During her stay she had spent almost all of her time with the young politician. Much to her surprise Sorina was the absolute opposite of her mother. Passionate, funny and gay. Obviously the women couldn’t go out in public, but behind closed doors Emily came to be her Pujule.
My little chick. No one had ever given Emily a nick name. She had never been in a relationship, it had never occurred to her that she could ever be called anything other than Emily or Em. She had known of course, that her stay would eventually end, she would fly back to the States and Sorina would move on.
When that day came, Emily was in tears. Despite herself she had let Sorina in; she had shown her weaknesses and admired the other woman. In return she had been given comfort and love. After that Chicago didn’t seem like such a beautiful place anymore.
Several months later, Sorina rang on her door. She had come for a job interview at the Illinois Romanian-American Community and wanted to see Emily. Needless to say, she got the job and Emily and Sorina spent six months together. For Emily it was heavenly.
For the first time she had felt loved and loved back just as much. She felt safe and comfortable and she refused to acknowledge that this dream would end, that she had to wake up. Sorina and she never discussed what would happen after the contract expired and Emily was let herself believe they could have a future.
She fantasized about moving to Romania, she didn’t need to work, she didn’t need the money, she needed Sorina. And Sorina needed her, her Pujule.
Before she knew it, the day had come. Sorina had packed her bags and Emily’s heart broke into pieces. She had just come home from work and had obviously surprised her girlfriend.
“Where are you going?” She noticed the white envelope in Sorina’s hand.
“Home.”
“To Romania?” She couldn’t believe what she heard. It had been perfect, had it not? “What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?” Her accent wasn’t even noticeable any more.
“Will you… will I see you again?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Please don’t make this harder than it is, Pujule.” Tears ran down Emily’s cheeks and she couldn’t stop them. It was the first time she cried out of anything other than joy since Sorina had come to the US.
“Why not?”
“I’m getting married, next week.”
“What?” She had to sit down. Right now.
“I wanted to explain it to you.” Sorina held out the envelope.
“What you can say in a letter, you can tell me to my face.” She refused to give in.
“It is all arranged Emily, he is from a nice family and my parents are happy with the match.”
“Is this the 19th century? You’re gay, Sorina.”
“And you of all people should know that this is no way to live your life.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh grow up, Emily. You knew we couldn’t last.”
“Why?”
“For God’s sakes, I have a plane to catch. Just read the letter.”
“Why are you so cold? I’ve never seen you like this.”
“We are all responsible for our decisions Emily, don’t forget that.” Sorina left a totally confused Emily behind. She needed to leave before she would start crying herself. She didn’t want to get married to anyone but Emily but it was time to be a good daughter and make her parents proud.