I love this. you have a way with words, like 'wearing' power and 'standing' six feet tall that gives this snippet a lovely ethereal and stately quality. I want to read more.
Hi Sykira, What you like is normally what drives my critique partners mad. They are so fond of can't and shouldn't and it's just not done this way. Sometimes, sometimes I take their advice if it's grammar if it's structure, if I left someone stumbling around in the garden like a gnome.
So - I am glad you like it. I am not sure what I was going for when I wrote this. I don't even remember what I was thinking when I started listening to her whisper in the back of my mind. Hopefully, she tells me more. Thank you for your kind words. Saille
Cripes. Well, with all due respect to your critique partners, I am very glad you rebel! That reminds me of the very wise, learned and talented writers who tell me I should use "she said" and not variant like "she mumbled" "she cried out" "she managed" "she whispered" LOL! cause while I usually take advice, I rebel against that one for some reason. I also keep my adverbs when conveying tone, like "she said waspishly" or "she said soothingly" etc etc, because words alone don't always convey tone, and as fanfic writers we can come to rely too much on assuming everyone knows these characters already so we don't need to communicate the mood they convey by their tone.
Oh gosh, well non-fanfic writers hear lots of those critiques all the time. I think the reason you get told those things is because in some cases they are true. "..."she chuckled isn't really possible, anymore than saying he growled is actually possible, all though I've been known to argue the he/she growled because some of my characters aren't human and could actually speak with a growl in their words
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What you like is normally what drives my critique partners mad. They are so fond of can't and shouldn't and it's just not done this way. Sometimes, sometimes I take their advice if it's grammar if it's structure, if I left someone stumbling around in the garden like a gnome.
So - I am glad you like it. I am not sure what I was going for when I wrote this. I don't even remember what I was thinking when I started listening to her whisper in the back of my mind. Hopefully, she tells me more.
Thank you for your kind words.
Saille
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I also keep my adverbs when conveying tone, like "she said waspishly" or "she said soothingly" etc etc, because words alone don't always convey tone, and as fanfic writers we can come to rely too much on assuming everyone knows these characters already so we don't need to communicate the mood they convey by their tone.
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