Being a writer, I have a habit of sometimes peeking into people's heads and trying to see how they tick. It sort of occurred to me how people are when they plan their suicides in advance (maybe this was inspired by the poem 'Richard Corey'). Can you imagine having an agenda or calendar, planning out everything in your life ... and then one day -
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Personally, I gave up on treadmills because I kept falling off. If you lose concentration, or daydream too much, you can find yourself in an undignified pile on the floor.
I prefer the stairmaster-type machines. Try a very gentle setting at first...and it's very low-impact, too.
Sorry I haven't been reading your fiction...I've been focused on own stuff. Will go back and read it at some point.
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I do hope that you find what you enjoy doing at the gym. I like the elliptical trainers, if they have them, but not all gyms do. Classes are also really fun. One of the best and most fun workouts I ever had was a kickboxing class.
Also, I hope that you'll get some rest, deario. *hugs*
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