This Simple Feeling
In hindsight, he can’t believe he didn’t see it earlier. They always fit together; two halves of a whole, but it wasn’t until Spock took his hand in sickbay that he realised why. Why for the past few years he felt hollow, as though something vital was missing from his life. Why getting the Enterprise back didn't help. Why it was so difficult to be the captain again - until Spock had shown up and suddenly everything had just clicked. They have always been leading here, and he cannot believe it has taken this long to realise it.
* * * * *
Jim is sitting in his quarters when the door slides open. Rising, he smiles broadly at the man who has just walked in. “Spock.”
Spock inclines his head. “Jim.”
It’s almost as though they’ve never been apart. “So you’re really not going back to Vulcan?” Jim asks.
“No. My place is here... with you.”
Jim feels warmth spread through him. He moves forward, until they are face to face. “I’ve missed you,” he says honestly.
Spock nods. “I often found my thoughts turning to you, even when I attempted to stop them.”
“These past few years, it’s like I’ve been drifting. I thought getting the Enterprise back would be the answer, but it didn’t help. It didn’t feel right, without you. The others felt it too. God, Spock, even Bones was pleased to see you!”
At the expression on Spock’s face, he adds, “Don’t worry. After the stunt you pulled with V’Ger, he’s back to muttering about pointy eared Vulcans who think they’re invincible.”
There’s a definite look of amusement in Spock’s eyes.
“Speaking of V’Ger, how are you feeling? That mind-meld hit you pretty hard.”
Spock pauses for a moment, as if considering. “I will require rest, and meditation.” He brings a hand up to Jim’s face. “I regret that I will be unable to meld with you until I have fully healed.”
Jim brings his own hand up to cover Spock’s. “You want to meld with me?”
“I wish you to know what you mean to me, as I am unable to express it in words.”
Jim almost laughs at that. They’ve never needed words. “Spock. It’s all right. I know.”
They stare at each other for a moment, and Jim has the feeling like they’ve been moving towards this since the moment they met. He doesn’t know which of them leans forward first, but then they are kissing, and nothing in his life has ever felt this right.