Both Sides Now - Part 1/2
Fandom: Star Trek TOS (AU)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock femslash, past Kirk/Janice Lester
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Turnabout Intruder" AU. Jane Kirk isn't looking forward to her reunion with ex-girlfriend Janice Lester, but she doesn't expect Janice to swap their bodies in an attempt to take her place as captain. Now her only hope is to convince her friends - and girlfriend - of her true identity, and stop Janice before it's too late.
Words: ~7200/13600
Notes: Written for ksbigbang (and because I was curious about how "Turnabout Intruder" might have gone if Kirk had been female). Art by insideapollo is here, art by sunryder is here. Thanks to amiss for her suggestions.
Jane frowns. She's supposed to be signing off on the latest round of status reports, but her concentration keeps wandering. In more ideal conditions the source of the distraction would be the attractive Vulcan sitting next to her, but unfortunately Jane's thoughts at present are much less appealing. With a shake of her head she shifts closer to Spock and forces her attention back to her work.
"Is something wrong, Jane?" Spock asks a few minutes later, just as Jane is considering throwing her PADD against the wall in frustration.
She freezes, as if caught. "Wrong? Why do you say that?" But even as she says it she knows it's useless. She never has been able to hide things from Spock, even before they were lovers.
Spock frowns. "You seem unusually tense," she replies. "Does it have anything to do with the distress call we received earlier today?"
And there it is. Jane loves Spock, but sometimes she wishes she were a little less perceptive. "Maybe," she mumbles reluctantly. "It's complicated."
Spock reaches out and runs her fingers over the back of Jane's hand. "I would like to help, if you'll let me."
Jane turns her hand over and captures Spock's fingers with her own. "All right," she says softly. "I'll tell you." She takes a deep breath before beginning slowly, "The head of the research party, Doctor Lester? I know her, or at least I did. At the academy. We… we were together." She looks up at Spock, trying to gauge her reaction, but the brown eyes give nothing away. "We were in the same year, both on the command track, and I… loved her. And it was great, for a while. We even talked about trying to get posted together when we graduated." Jane shakes her head. "Then she failed one of the psych tests. Just barely, but it was enough to put her out of the running for command. She switched to the science track and tried to get me to do the same, but…." She gestures in agitation. "I couldn't. I've wanted to be a starship captain for as long as I can remember. I couldn't just give it up."
Spock squeezes her hand gently and Jane gives her a grateful look before continuing, "After that things went downhill pretty fast. She resented me for doing what she couldn't, and I probably wasn't as supportive as I could have been. Eventually we got into a big fight where she accused me of caring more about my career than I did about her, and I told her if that was how she felt she should just leave. And she did." She shakes her head, wincing at the memory. "She ended up dropping out of the academy not long after that, and that was the last I heard of her. Until now."
"And you are… nervous about seeing her again?" Spock asks.
"I wouldn't say nervous," Jane protests, but then shakes her head with a laugh. "Okay, maybe you're right. I just wish I could stop thinking about it." They won't even reach the planet for another eleven hours, and she's already wishing it was over.
She's about to go back to work, but Spock takes her PADD away before she can. "What are you doing?" she asks.
Spock raises an eyebrow as she puts the PADDs aside. "I am attempting to help you 'stop thinking about it'," she replies, pulling off her blue uniform shirt and dropping it by the side of the bed.
"Oh," Jane says with a slow smile, and begins shimmying out of her own shirt. "In that case, continue."
By the time Spock has finished 'distracting' her, any worries about Janice are gone.
* * *
They reach Camus II, the source of the distress signal, early in alpha shift. Jane braces herself before beaming down, telling herself it's just like any other mission. Besides, it isn't like she's alone; she has Spock, and McCoy, and she trusts them more than anything. Whatever happens, she'll deal with it.
When the landing party materialise on the surface they are met by Doctor Coleman, who tells them that he and Janice are the only ones left, and she is very ill. "The rest of the expedition is already gone," he says. "There was nothing I could do."
Jane glances at Spock. Hardly a good start to the mission.
Coleman leads them a short distance to a bedroom, where Janice is lying unconscious. Even after more than fifteen years Jane recognises her instantly, although she's very pale and clearly unwell. "What's wrong with her?" she asks, before the memories can overtake her.
"Exposure to radiation," Coleman replies.
"What kind of radiation?" McCoy asks, stepping forward to examine her more closely.
Coleman shrugs. "Nothing I've ever encountered."
Jane frowns. That doesn't sound good. But before she can comment, Janice begins to stir. Jane's thoughts scatter as Janice's eyes open and focus squarely on her. "Hello, Janice," she says, trying to look sympathetic. "Try not to overexert yourself," Jane adds, as the eyes narrow. "You're very ill."
Her attention is diverted before Janice can respond. "Captain," Spock says, studying her tricorder. "I'm picking up very faint life readings approximately seven hundred metres from here." She looks up, and Jane can see the concern in her eyes. "They are fading. Help will have to be immediate."
Jane turns to leave, but Janice pulls on her arm, muttering something. "You should stay with Janice," McCoy says. "Keep her calm."
Yes, because that'll work, Jane thinks in frustration as she watches the other three leave the room. She turns back to Janice to see the other woman regarding her with barely hidden disdain.
"I'd hoped never to see you again," Janice says.
Jane refrains from telling her the feeling is mutual. "We were the only ship in the area," she says instead. "We came as soon as we could."
Janice rolls her eyes. "Of course you did. The great Captain Kirk and her crew, riding to the rescue." Before Jane can respond, she continues, "I read about you, you know. Youngest captain in history, commander of the flagship, everyone's golden girl." She snorts derisively. "If they only knew."
Jane sighs. Same old Janice. "I didn't come here for an argument," she says.
Janice snorts again, turning her face away.
Jane spreads her hands, taking a step forward. "It's been fifteen years, Janice. How long are you going to keep hating me?"
Janice turns to her, eyes blazing. "For abandoning me when I needed you most? Let me think." Then suddenly the anger is gone and she looks on the verge of tears. "I loved you," she says. "We could have roamed the stars together, just the two of us. It would have been wonderful."
Jane shakes her head. "We'd have killed each other."
"Maybe that would have been better," Janice replies.
Jane's skin itches and she turns away, wishing Spock and the others would return. In an attempt to avoid further conversation, she begins to explore the room. Her attention is caught by the far wall, which is covered in strange markings, and intrigued, she moves closer. She's a few feet away when she sees movement out of the corner of her eye and is suddenly pulled against the wall. She struggles against invisible bonds as Janice gets out of bed and comes over to her, trying desperately to remain calm.
Janice flips a switch on what Jane suddenly realises is a giant machine, then comes to stand next to where Jane is pinned, helpless. She watches as Janice flips another switch, and then everything shifts. She doesn't have words to describe it; it's like falling, dying, being torn apart. And then suddenly it's over, and she feels like she's going to pass out.
She takes deep breaths, fighting to stay conscious, but it's not enough. Her last sight as the world goes dark is her own face staring back at her.
* * * * *
Spock and the others arrive at the point her tricorder indicated only a few moments after she first picked up the reading, but they are already too late. Spock watches as Doctor Coleman and McCoy examine the dead man, debating the cause of death, before carefully clearing her throat. "I believe we should return to the captain and Doctor Lester," she suggests. From what Jane has told her - and not told her - she does not want the two of them left alone any longer than necessary.
"I suppose you're right," McCoy sighs. "Nothing more we can do here."
They are about halfway back when Spock experiences a brief dizzy spell. It's gone as soon as it appeared, but the dread that accompanies it makes her speed up, intent on getting back to Jane as fast as possible.
But when they finally re-enter the room where they left Jane and Doctor Lester, everything seems fine. Jane is standing by Lester's bed, as they left her, and Lester herself is resting quietly.
Jane looks up as they enter. "Doctor McCoy," she says, and Spock relaxes a little at the familiar tone. "Your report?"
McCoy sighs. "We were too late. There was nothing we could do."
Jane nods. "Radiation?"
McCoy frowns. "Actually, I believe it was celebium. However, Doctor Coleman disagrees." His expression makes clear what he thinks of the other man's opinion. "And we must be certain because the treatment for celebium is quite-"
Coleman interrupts before McCoy can finish. "Doctor McCoy." He walks over to stand by Jane and Doctor Lester.
Immediately McCoy's attention is diverted. "Did you notice any unusual symptoms while we were gone?" he asks, frowning.
Jane shakes her head. "No, nothing at all. She was unconscious the entire time."
"Doctor Lester is near death." Coleman puts in.
McCoy glances at Jane. "We should beam her up to the Enterprise."
"I don't know about that," Coleman says, but Jane ignores him, pulling out a communicator.
"Captain Kirk to the Enterprise. Captain Kirk to the Enterprise."
Spock raises an eyebrow. There's something… off about Jane's demeanour, but she can't quite figure out what. She reasons that it is just the stress of meeting Doctor Lester again, but combined with the strange feeling from earlier it puts her on edge. She stands quietly while Jane gives the command to beam up and have a medical team standing by, but remains watchful, ready to act at the first sign of trouble.
* * * * *
When Jane regains consciousness, she's in sickbay. She lies there silently for a few seconds, trying to figure out how she ended up there. I was studying that strange carving, and then… Janice. She narrows her eyes in frustration as the memory comes flooding back. She did something to me. But what?
She glances up at the diagnostic screen. "Pulse, pressure, blood count, all body functions normal," she murmurs to herself. Well, whatever she did, it doesn't seem to have had much of an effect.
With a shrug, she pushes the covers aside and swings her legs over the side of the bed. But as she pushes herself to a standing position it becomes obvious that there is something wrong. Her body feels strange, like she's off-balance somehow. What the hell…?
Wanting reassurance, she closes her eyes and reaches along the mental thread that binds her to Spock. It isn't a full bond - Spock refuses to do it without a proper ceremony - but it's enough to give them some awareness of each other. But not this time; despite Jane's best attempts she can't feel Spock at all. It's as though their link is blocked somehow.
Stomach twisting with nerves, she tries a more human approach. "Doctor McCoy?" When he doesn't respond after a few seconds, she calls again, more sharply this time. "Doctor McCoy!" Bones, where are you? Usually whenever she gets injured he's right there watching over her, and his absence causes a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She's on the verge of calling again when someone finally enters. Unfortunately it's not McCoy, but Coleman, and the expression on his face makes the cold feeling grow worse.
"Where's Doctor McCoy?" Jane asks.
Coleman smiles. "Not here," he says. "I'm in charge now."
Jane grits her teeth and glares at him. "On whose authority?" she asks, but doesn't give him a chance to respond before continuing, "Last I checked Doctor McCoy was in command of medicine on this ship, and I demand you bring him here right now!"
Coleman merely stares at her, a smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "Doctor McCoy was taken off your case by Captain Kirk."
"I did no such thing!" Jane retorts.
Coleman's smile grows. "Of course you didn't. I was speaking of the captain."
"I am the captain!" Jane snaps, trying to ignore the horrible thought rising unwanted in the back of her mind. She couldn't have. But wasn't I just thinking something felt wrong? She glances down at her hands and feels panic start to rise as she realises they're too pale, the fingers too long. No. This is impossible.
As if sensing the pattern of her thoughts, Coleman says, "This will all go more smoothly if you just accept it, Doctor Lester."
Jane stares at him in horror. No. No! "I am not Janice Lester!" she protests desperately. "I'm Jane Kirk! She must have used that machine to swap our bodies."
"Of course," Coleman replies, clearly unimpressed.
Jane's temper flares. "I'm not making this up!" she exclaims. "She did this to me! She's driven herself mad with jealousy and hatred and ambition, and she's trying to take my place!"
Coleman just looks at her and Jane narrows her eyes. "But you already knew that, didn't you?" she asks. "You've been in on it from the start."
Before he can answer her, Nurse Chapel walks in and Jane's attention is instantly diverted. Oh, please, please.... "Nurse Chapel," she blurts. "I need to see Mister Spock and Doctor McCoy right away. They have to know I'm not Janice Lester. I may be imprisoned in her body, but I am not Janice Lester!"
Chapel glances at Coleman, and Jane's heart sinks. "She is suffering from the delusion of being Captain Kirk," Coleman tells Chapel dispassionately.
"I am Captain Kirk!" Jane responds in frustration, but from Chapel's expression it's obvious that her words aren't getting through. Still, she can't help but try one last time. "I demand to speak to Doctor McCoy!"
"The paranoia has been developing for the past six months," Coleman continues calmly, as though she hasn't spoken. "The radiation seems to have intensified it." He glances at her briefly, then turns his attention back to Chapel. "She must be kept sedated."
Chapel nods. "I'll prepare a mild sedative."
Jane watches her leave with quiet desperation. This can't be happening. She catches sight of her reflection - Janice's reflection - in a mirror and sits down rather abruptly on the bed.
"You are insane, Doctor Lester," Coleman says, with just the barest hint of smugness.
Jane stares numbly into the mirror. No, she thinks, but if this doesn't get fixed soon, I will be.
* * * * *
On the bridge, Spock is not having much more luck. She assumed Jane's mood would improve once they were back on the bridge and away from Doctor Lester, but all indications are that this was a forlorn hope.
Jane seems unusually touchy and argumentative, and in fact snaps at Spock when she questions the order to change course to the Benecia colony. Spock fails to understand the logic of going out of their way to drop off Doctor Lester when the facilities on Starbase Two are far superior, but gives up when it becomes clear that Jane isn't going to listen to her.
Back at her console, she busies herself with routine scans while she tries to understand Jane's unusual behaviour. It isn't the first time Jane has refused to listen to advice, but she is usually at least willing to consider it first. Spock does not want to believe that Jane's personal feelings for Doctor Lester could be clouding her judgement, but it is a possibility she will have to consider. The last time Jane acted this strangely was during the situation with Anton Karidian, and Spock remembers very well how that turned out.
She makes a mental note to talk to Jane as soon as possible. Whatever is going on with her partner, she will find it out, and then, she vows, she will do anything in her power to make it right.
* * * * *
"She should be waking up now."
Jane stirs as the voice disturbs her sleep. She fights her way back to consciousness to find Coleman standing by her bed holding a hypospray. And beside him, Janice. It's a strangely surreal feeling to see her own body from the outside, her own face twisted with triumph and hatred.
"Come to gloat?" Jane asks, pushing herself up on her elbows.
Janice puts a hand to her chest, acting shocked. "Really, Jane. Do you think me so petty?" Turning to Coleman, she adds, "Leave us."
Coleman nods. "I'll make sure you're not disturbed," he says. "But don't take too long. I can't hold them off forever."
Janice waves a hand. "You worry too much. No one's going to think twice about the captain visiting a patient, especially one she has a history with." When Coleman doesn't move, she rolls her eyes. "Fine. This shouldn't take long anyway."
Once he's gone, she turns to Jane, smiling. "I've never seen myself from the outside before," she says, echoing Jane's earlier thought. "Not bad."
She reaches out to touch Jane's hair and Jane instinctively recoils. Normally she could kick Janice's ass without breaking a sweat, but right now, still groggy from the sedative and stuck in a body she doesn't know how to use, she's at a severe disadvantage.
"Oh, relax," Janice says mockingly. "I'm not going to hurt you." She perches on the edge of the bed as if they're sisters sharing secrets. Jane tries not to cringe. "I was going to," Janice continues, in a tone most people would use to talk about the weather. "I'd have killed you back on the planet if your 'friends' hadn't interrupted me. But I've changed my mind since then. The idea of you locked in a psych ward on some out-of-the-way rock is far more interesting."
"You won't get away with this," Jane replies, then grimaces at the cliché. She shrugs it off and continues, "I have the best crew in Starfleet. They'll figure it out."
"I doubt that," Janice replies, nonchalant. "I've been preparing for this for months. You'd be surprised how well I know you." She taps her fingers against her lips thoughtfully. "Besides, even if they did figure out something was wrong, who would possibly suspect the truth?"
"We've seen stranger things," Jane retorts. "And fine, say you're right. Say your plan does come off without a hitch. How long do you think you're going to be able to keep it up? I've been in Starfleet for sixteen years, twelve of them on active duty. You flunked out of the academy and, as far as I know, haven't been on a starship since. You won't last a week as captain. I just pray to God you don't get anyone killed in the meantime."
Colour rises on Janice's cheeks. "I did not flunk out," she spits, rising to her feet. "I left because I was being unfairly treated. But you never cared about that, did you? All you ever cared about was yourself."
Jane feels anger rising in her chest and firmly pushes it down. "That's not true," she says, but she already knows it's hopeless. She hadn't been able to make Janice believe that fifteen years ago, there's no chance of her managing it now.
Sure enough, Janice just rolls her eyes. "Right." Then a slow smile crosses her face. "But that's not true anymore, is it?" she asks, and a shiver runs down Jane's spine. "You know, I did a lot of research into your time as captain, and almost every article and briefing I came across took time to mention how close you are to your first officer. 'The best team in Starfleet' and all that crap." She smiles. "Sounds like someone who could be a powerful ally."
"Spock would never join you," Jane scoffs.
Janice shrugs. "I hope you're wrong," she says. "Because she can be an ally or an enemy, and, well, I'm sure you know what happens to enemies."
Jane feels like she's been dipped in ice-water, and fights to keep it from showing on her - Janice's, her brain corrects - face. "You wouldn't dare," she retorts. "She's the first officer. There'll be an investigation. You'd be found out immediately."
Janice gives her a smug look. "You forget I'm a scientist. I know at least half-a-dozen substances that can kill without leaving a trace, most of which are right here on this ship." She laces her fingers together and gives Jane a wide smile. "But don't worry. I'm sure it won't come to that."
Terror streaks through Jane's veins. If she knows Spock, she's already suspicious of Janice, which means she's in real danger. She struggles out of bed, but by the time she's made it to her feet Janice is over by the door and Coleman is stepping back into the room.
Janice gives her a triumphant look and leans towards him. "I'm done here," she says. "You can sedate her again." She leaves, and Coleman steps forward.
Jane fights tooth and nail, every instinct screaming at her to find Spock and warn her before it's too late, but Coleman is stronger and before she knows it the hypospray is against her arm and everything is going black.
* * * * *
Spock frowns as she studies her console. Jane's behaviour has been growing increasingly irrational as the morning goes on, and the crew are beginning to notice. Any hope that the situation might sort itself out has long disappeared.
She decides that the best time to confront Jane will be during their lunch break, and spends the rest of the time until then working on a plan of attack. She will have to be subtle; in the mood she is currently in Jane may see any suggestion of emotional compromise as a threat to her command. Spock considers all the options and decides that she will likely have most success appealing to Jane as a partner, rather than as a first officer.
At precisely 1230, Spock steps down next to Jane's chair, prepared to put her plan into action. She does not expect to be greeted with warmth, but neither does she expect Jane to look at her with nothing less than... suspicion when she makes her offer of lunch. She covers it up almost at once, agreeing to Spock's offer almost cheerfully, but Spock is not fooled, and her concern for her partner only deepens.
Jane is reasonably normal during lunch, but the same wariness enters her eyes when Spock asks to speak with her alone. "I should get back to the bridge," she says.
"There's nothing there that cannot wait five minutes," Spock replies. "There are things I wish to discuss with you, away from the crew." Realising that might be taken the wrong way, she softens her expression slightly and adds, "Please, Jane." She hopes that the use of Jane's first name will indicate that this is not an official conversation.
Jane shrugs. "All right," she says, but the wariness doesn't leave her eyes.
Spock leads the way to an empty conference room a few doors down from the cafeteria. Jane turns to her the moment the door closed, crossing her arms defensively. "All right, Commander, what is it? I'm a busy woman."
Spock frowns at the use of her title. So much for her attempts at an informal conversation. Still, now that they're alone, she feels free to drop the professional mask she puts on for the rest of the crew. She moves closer to Jane and lays a hand on her arm, allowing her concern to show in her eyes. "Jane, t'hy'la, what is wrong?" she asks. "You are not acting like yourself."
Jane stares at her blankly, then looks down at the hand on her arm as if she's never seen it before. "What are you…." Then her eyes widen in understanding. "Well," she murmurs with a slow smile. "This explains a few things."
When she looks back up at Spock, her expression is nothing less than predatory. "You don't have to worry about me, Spock," she almost purrs, moving forward until her breasts are pressed against Spock's. "I know exactly what I'm doing."
Spock studies her, unwilling to be swayed so easily. "So you deny that the situation with Doctor Lester is affecting your behaviour? Your decision to send her to the Benecia colony-"
"Is not your concern," Jane interrupts. "Come on, Spock, is this really what you want to focus on right now?" She punctuates the question by reaching up and pulling Spock into a kiss.
It's hard, demanding, with none of Jane's usual tenderness, and despite the hands roaming across her body, Spock finds it hard to build up much enthusiasm. And in any case, this is hardly the time to get distracted.
Still, the contact gives rise to another idea, and Spock carefully reaches out along their link, searching for anything that might explain Jane's strange behaviour. But try as she might she can't pick up anything but surface emotions - mostly lust, and a strange sort of triumph - and finally comes to the conclusion that Jane is blocking her.
She pulls away, fighting back a sudden rush of hurt and confusion. They've been through a lot together, but Jane has never shut her out like this. She feels strangely bereft.
"Why have you blocked off our link?" she asks, and watches as Jane takes a step backwards.
If she had any doubts about something being wrong, they're shattered in that moment. Jane, her beloved captain and partner, looks scared. Of her.
"Are you reading my mind?" Jane asks. "I didn't give you permission to do that. I don't give you permission."
Spock stares at her. "It has never bothered you before. As I recall, you were the one who insisted on keeping the link in the first place." She can still remember Jane's reaction when she confessed, ashamed of her inability to keep their minds separate during their many melds. Can't we at least try it for a while before we break it? It could be useful. Besides, I like feeling close to you like this.
That was just over a year ago, but right now it feels like a lifetime.
Jane doesn't seem to be listening. "Did you see anything?" she demands.
Spock frowns, studying her. "No," she admits, after a moment. "You were blocking me." Jane seems to relax slightly at that, which only makes her more concerned.
"Well, good," Jane says. She smoothes down her uniform, collecting herself, and adds, "Look, Spock, I know you're trying to help, but I'd prefer if you stayed out of my head for the time being. I need to deal with this by myself."
By now Spock's instincts are blaring at her, but she just nods. "I understand, Jane. I was merely concerned for you."
Jane nods and smiles. "I know." She glances at the door and adds, "Well, if that's all, Mister Spock, I should get back to the bridge. Lots to do, you know."
"Indeed," Spock replies blandly. "I have some matters to attend to, but I should be up shortly."
Jane nods once more and leaves. Spock waits long enough for her to get back to the bridge, then heads down to sickbay. She and McCoy do not always see eye to eye, but if anyone can figure out what illness or entity has affected the captain, he can.
And while he's doing that, perhaps she can pay a visit to Doctor Lester.
* * * * *
The next time Jane awakens she finds herself secured to the bed by a strap across her chest. It seems her attempts to avoid sedation were in vain. Well, at least I know Janice didn't decide to murder me in my sleep….
She flinches as she realises she's not alone, but then relaxes as she realises it's only Chapel. A quick glance around tells her Coleman is nowhere in sight, and Jane's thoughts race, trying to figure out how to use this to her advantage.
"I'm sorry about before," she begins with a smile, feigning embarrassment. "I… wasn't myself." So to speak….
Chapel returns her smile, looking relieved. "That's all right," she replies. "What you've been through would've completely broken most of us."
Oh, you have no idea, Jane thinks, but she nods and tries to look properly harmless. "Well, I'm feeling much better now," she says. "But I'd still like to speak to Doctor McCoy, if that's possible?"
Chapel shakes her head. "I'm afraid that's against Doctor Coleman's orders."
Of course it is, Jane thinks bitterly, but she's careful to keep the disgust from showing on her face. Putting on her most ingratiating tone, she replies, "Oh. Well, in that case what about Commander Spock? I'd really like to thank her for her help down on the planet." She's always loathed playing the damsel-in-distress role, but right now she'll try anything that might get her out of here.
Chapel looks a little confused. "Wouldn't you rather talk to the captain?"
Jane bites her tongue on a retort. "I don't want to bother her," she lies smoothly.
Chapel seems to accept that. "Well, I'll talk to Commander Spock. Perhaps a short visit can be arranged." She pours out a glass of dark liquid and holds it out to Jane. "Drink this and I'll see what I can do."
Jane knows it isn't Chapel's fault - if their positions were reversed she wouldn't believe her either - but the nurse's humouring-the-crazy-person demeanour is getting on her nerves. Still, she plays along, taking the glass and pretending to take a sip. "It's good," she says. "Thank you."
Chapel smiles warmly. "I just have to step out for a minute, but I'll be right back," she says. "I'm glad you're feeling so much better."
The instant that she's out of sight Jane springs into action, dumping the liquid onto the floor before smashing the glass against the bed to make a knife. It only takes a second to cut through the strap holding her to the bed, and then she's up and out of the room, intending to find Spock, or McCoy, or both. If anyone will believe her, they will.
* * * * *
Spock enters sickbay to find McCoy studying tapes on the computer. "Doctor," she greets. "I wish to speak with you."
He puts down the tapes and sighs. "Let me guess, you're worried about Jane. Well, so am I."
Normally Spock would remind him that worry is an emotion, but right now her mind is on more important things. "You have also noticed her aberrant behaviour?" she asks.
He nods. "You know she took me off Doctor Lester's case? Coleman's in charge now." He shakes his head. "He's not fit to doctor a pigeon, but when I tried to tell Jane that Starfleet ruled him medically incompetent, she just shrugged it off. Insisted it was probably just a misunderstanding. That's not the Captain Kirk I know."
Spock frowns. "Indeed." Jane has never held with incompetence; she holds her crew to her own high standards. To brush aside such an issue as though it were nothing is entirely out of character. "She accused me of spying on her thoughts," she says, clasping her hands behind her back. "I was merely attempting to find out what was bothering her, but she seemed to view it as a violation." She studies the wall, trying to suppress a flash of hurt. "She has always welcomed me in the past. I do not understand what has changed."
She notices McCoy looking at her with something close to sympathy and straightens her back, fixing him with a look. "Do you have any idea what could be causing her behaviour?" she asks.
"Well, there are a lot of things that can cause personality changes like this," McCoy replies. "I'd have to run some tests to narrow it down."
Spock considers that. "I am not certain the captain will agree to undertake such tests in her present condition."
McCoy looks grim. "I'm aware of that. She's already turned me down once. This time I'm planning on making it an order."
Spock nods, then decides she might as well share her own theory with the doctor. "The captain was acting perfectly normally prior to her being left alone with Doctor Lester back on the planet. I thought perhaps a conversation with the doctor might shed some light on the situation."
McCoy shrugs. "It's worth a try. You go talk to Lester while I examine Jane."
As if on cue, the door slides open and Jane walks in. "Well, Doctor, I'm here," she says. She is smiling, but Spock notices it doesn't reach her eyes. "Run your tests, if you have to, but I still say it's a waste of time. I-"
She is cut off as the doors open again and Doctor Lester runs in. "Spock! Bones!" she cries. "Don't let them lock me away again. I have to talk to you!"
Bones? Spock thinks. She's never heard anyone other than Jane call him that.
She watches as Jane advances on Doctor Lester, who backs away, looking scared. She raises her hands as Jane pulls her arm back and knocks her out in one punch.
Spock stares in shock. She has seen Jane fight a hundred times, but she has never seen her take down an opponent who was unarmed and unresisting. It is anathema to everything that Jane Kirk stands for. From McCoy's expression, he's thinking the same thing.
"She could have killed someone," Jane says. "I want her locked up." She turns to the security guards who have just arrived and tells them, "Put her in isolation in her room, and maintain a twenty four hour watch. Absolutely no one is to talk to her without my permission. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," the guards reply, and between them they take Doctor Lester away.
"I'd like to run those tests now," McCoy says quietly. Jane nods and re-enters sickbay as if nothing has happened. McCoy pauses long enough to exchange worried glances with Spock, then follows Jane.
Spock turns away as the door closes behind them. With Jane distracted, it seems the perfect time to finally have that talk with Janice Lester.
* * * * *
Jane regains consciousness to find herself back in sickbay. "This really needs to stop," she mutters, rubbing gently at the place where Janice hit her. Slowly she sits up, then stands and approaches the door. It opens to reveal a guard - she recognises him as Lieutenant Galloway - whose hand goes to the phaser at his hip the moment he catches sight of her. Sighing, she steps back to let the door shut before rubbing her temples, trying to ease her headache.
Absently, she reaches again for her link to Spock, but it's still blocked. Now that she knows what's going on, it almost makes sense; the link is equal parts mental and physical, it isn't surprising that something like this would mess with it. Still, it's frustrating to be denied even that small comfort.
She's pacing back and forth, contemplating her - extremely limited - options, when she hears voices outside the door. Curious, she stops pacing and moves closer, trying to make out the words. Suddenly the door slides open and, to her relief, reveals the one person in the universe she most wants to see.
"I wish to speak with you, Doctor Lester," Spock says.
Her demeanour lacks any of Spock's usual warmth, but right now Jane doesn't care. It takes a great deal of effort just to keep from throwing herself into Spock's arms. If it weren't for Galloway, who has followed Spock in, she thinks she might do it.
"It's good to see you," she says instead.
Spock raises an eyebrow, but otherwise ignores her comment. "Captain Kirk has been acting strangely since our stop at Camus II," she says coolly. "My observations suggest that you are the cause."
Jane can't keep from laughing at that. "Oh, I am," she replies, shaking her head. "Just not the way you think."
Hastily she sketches out the events on Camus II and everything that followed. Spock listens without interrupting, but gives no sign that she believes Jane's words.
"Complete life-entity transfer with the aid of a mechanical device," she says, when Jane has finished speaking. To Jane's relief she seems to be at least considering the possibility.
Jane nods emphatically. "Yes, exactly."
Spock raises her eyebrows. "To my knowledge, such a thing has never been successfully accomplished anywhere in the galaxy."
"It was accomplished on Camus II," Jane argues, gesturing at her body. "Take a good look. I'm a living example."
Spock just looks at her. "That is your claim," she replies. "You have yet to substantiate it."
She studies Jane for a long moment, then adds, "At this moment Doctor McCoy is examining the captain for psychological changes." Jane's heart leaps - so they did realise something was wrong - but Spock hasn't finished. "Should he uncover anything unusual, that would be acceptable evidence. Your personal testimony is not."
Jane feels a rush of frustration. "Spock, I know you. You've risked your life to help me more times than I can count. The spores on Gamma Trianguli VI, the asteroid on Amerind, the Tholians." She can still remember how terrified she was back then, floating in nothingness, wondering if she'd ever get back to see her ship and her crew. But the thing she remembers most is the awe she felt when she found out how far Spock had been willing to go to save her.
Spock's expression doesn't change. "Those events have been recorded. They could have become known to you."
Jane frowns. I could tell you things no one else knows, she thinks wryly, but she's not sure she really wants to get into that with the - male - lieutenant still watching them.
She decides to take a different tack, and steps forward, into Spock's personal space. Looking her straight in the eyes, she says softly, "You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe. You know her thoughts. What do they tell you?"
Spock hesitates, then slowly raises a hand. Jane rejoices inwardly, closing her eyes in anticipation as Spock's fingers settle on her face. She feels Spock's mind brush against hers tentatively and surges to greet it, basking in the knowledge that she's no longer alone. Spock!
She's greeted by amazement, as if, even now, Spock can't quite believe it. Jane?
She almost laughs in relief. You were expecting someone else? Quickly she sends Spock her memories of Camus II, of the machine and its effects. She doesn't have the control for it to be more than a blur of pictures and thoughts and emotions, but it's enough for Spock to understand, and believe, and the rush of love and anger and concern she gets in return is almost dizzying.
I was so afraid she'd hurt you, Jane thinks, basking in the return of Spock's mental presence.
My Jane, Spock returns affectionately, then adds more seriously, You have my word that I will fix this.
Jane doesn't doubt it for a second.
Carefully, Spock eases out of the meld and for a moment they just stare at each other. They're less than a foot apart, Spock's hand still resting on her face, and it's Jane can do not to hold herself back, keep from burying her hands in that short, silky hair and kissing Spock until both of them are breathless. She manages to restrain herself, though, and takes a shaky step backwards.
Spock blinks, as if coming out of a trance, and drops her hand. "I believe you," she says quietly, "but my belief is not acceptable evidence. Evidence must be factual." Her eyes betray her words; to Spock, Jane's word is evidence.
She's right, though, if they're going to convince anyone else they're going to need hard facts.
"Doctor McCoy may be of help," Spock suggests, and lays a hand on Jane's arm. "Come with me."
As Spock turns towards the doorway, Galloway steps in front of them. "I'm sorry, sir," he says," but Doctor Lester cannot leave here."
Spock raises an eyebrow. "I plan to accompany her. She will not be left alone."
"You're asking me to violate the captain's orders," Galloway argues.
"The captain did not give those orders," Spock replies calmly. "Therefore there can be no violation."
A look of pure disbelief crosses the lieutenant's face at her words. "You're as mad as she is!" he says. "I won't allow it. You're to leave here at once." He crosses his arms.
Spock tilts her head as if thinking it over. "Certainly, Lieutenant," she says. "We must all do our duty."
Jane realises what's about to happen next a second before it does. Spock goes for the neck pinch with her right hand, and Galloway blocks it, but he doesn't expect the second attack from the left. Unfortunately he manages to call for security before he falls unconscious.
Jane helps Spock pull him into the sickbay room, but they don't even make it out of the doorway before the other guard arrives. Spock steps forward and attempts to convince him that everything is under control, but when that doesn't work she again goes for the nerve pinch. It turns out to be unnecessary, however, as it has barely taken effect before McCoy and Janice show up with more security guards.
Jane feels Spock's fingers curling around her own as Janice glares at them. The captain in her protests that she doesn't need anyone's protection, but the rest of her knows how hard it is for Spock to show her affection in front of others, and is grateful for the gesture.
"Phasers," Janice orders, and Jane tenses in spite of herself. She's spent enough time unconscious for one day.
Spock glares at Janice. "Violence is unnecessary," she says coldly. "We offer no resistance."
Janice narrows her eyes and stalks over to the communication point. Not taking her eyes off of them, she toggles the button and announces, "Attention, all personnel. First Officer Spock has been placed under arrest. She has conspired with Doctor Lester to take over the ship from your captain. A hearing will be immediately convened to consider the charges and specifications of a general court martial on the charge of mutiny."
Next
Pairing: Kirk/Spock femslash, past Kirk/Janice Lester
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Turnabout Intruder" AU. Jane Kirk isn't looking forward to her reunion with ex-girlfriend Janice Lester, but she doesn't expect Janice to swap their bodies in an attempt to take her place as captain. Now her only hope is to convince her friends - and girlfriend - of her true identity, and stop Janice before it's too late.
Words: ~7200/13600
Notes: Written for ksbigbang (and because I was curious about how "Turnabout Intruder" might have gone if Kirk had been female). Art by insideapollo is here, art by sunryder is here. Thanks to amiss for her suggestions.
Jane frowns. She's supposed to be signing off on the latest round of status reports, but her concentration keeps wandering. In more ideal conditions the source of the distraction would be the attractive Vulcan sitting next to her, but unfortunately Jane's thoughts at present are much less appealing. With a shake of her head she shifts closer to Spock and forces her attention back to her work.
"Is something wrong, Jane?" Spock asks a few minutes later, just as Jane is considering throwing her PADD against the wall in frustration.
She freezes, as if caught. "Wrong? Why do you say that?" But even as she says it she knows it's useless. She never has been able to hide things from Spock, even before they were lovers.
Spock frowns. "You seem unusually tense," she replies. "Does it have anything to do with the distress call we received earlier today?"
And there it is. Jane loves Spock, but sometimes she wishes she were a little less perceptive. "Maybe," she mumbles reluctantly. "It's complicated."
Spock reaches out and runs her fingers over the back of Jane's hand. "I would like to help, if you'll let me."
Jane turns her hand over and captures Spock's fingers with her own. "All right," she says softly. "I'll tell you." She takes a deep breath before beginning slowly, "The head of the research party, Doctor Lester? I know her, or at least I did. At the academy. We… we were together." She looks up at Spock, trying to gauge her reaction, but the brown eyes give nothing away. "We were in the same year, both on the command track, and I… loved her. And it was great, for a while. We even talked about trying to get posted together when we graduated." Jane shakes her head. "Then she failed one of the psych tests. Just barely, but it was enough to put her out of the running for command. She switched to the science track and tried to get me to do the same, but…." She gestures in agitation. "I couldn't. I've wanted to be a starship captain for as long as I can remember. I couldn't just give it up."
Spock squeezes her hand gently and Jane gives her a grateful look before continuing, "After that things went downhill pretty fast. She resented me for doing what she couldn't, and I probably wasn't as supportive as I could have been. Eventually we got into a big fight where she accused me of caring more about my career than I did about her, and I told her if that was how she felt she should just leave. And she did." She shakes her head, wincing at the memory. "She ended up dropping out of the academy not long after that, and that was the last I heard of her. Until now."
"And you are… nervous about seeing her again?" Spock asks.
"I wouldn't say nervous," Jane protests, but then shakes her head with a laugh. "Okay, maybe you're right. I just wish I could stop thinking about it." They won't even reach the planet for another eleven hours, and she's already wishing it was over.
She's about to go back to work, but Spock takes her PADD away before she can. "What are you doing?" she asks.
Spock raises an eyebrow as she puts the PADDs aside. "I am attempting to help you 'stop thinking about it'," she replies, pulling off her blue uniform shirt and dropping it by the side of the bed.
"Oh," Jane says with a slow smile, and begins shimmying out of her own shirt. "In that case, continue."
By the time Spock has finished 'distracting' her, any worries about Janice are gone.
* * *
They reach Camus II, the source of the distress signal, early in alpha shift. Jane braces herself before beaming down, telling herself it's just like any other mission. Besides, it isn't like she's alone; she has Spock, and McCoy, and she trusts them more than anything. Whatever happens, she'll deal with it.
When the landing party materialise on the surface they are met by Doctor Coleman, who tells them that he and Janice are the only ones left, and she is very ill. "The rest of the expedition is already gone," he says. "There was nothing I could do."
Jane glances at Spock. Hardly a good start to the mission.
Coleman leads them a short distance to a bedroom, where Janice is lying unconscious. Even after more than fifteen years Jane recognises her instantly, although she's very pale and clearly unwell. "What's wrong with her?" she asks, before the memories can overtake her.
"Exposure to radiation," Coleman replies.
"What kind of radiation?" McCoy asks, stepping forward to examine her more closely.
Coleman shrugs. "Nothing I've ever encountered."
Jane frowns. That doesn't sound good. But before she can comment, Janice begins to stir. Jane's thoughts scatter as Janice's eyes open and focus squarely on her. "Hello, Janice," she says, trying to look sympathetic. "Try not to overexert yourself," Jane adds, as the eyes narrow. "You're very ill."
Her attention is diverted before Janice can respond. "Captain," Spock says, studying her tricorder. "I'm picking up very faint life readings approximately seven hundred metres from here." She looks up, and Jane can see the concern in her eyes. "They are fading. Help will have to be immediate."
Jane turns to leave, but Janice pulls on her arm, muttering something. "You should stay with Janice," McCoy says. "Keep her calm."
Yes, because that'll work, Jane thinks in frustration as she watches the other three leave the room. She turns back to Janice to see the other woman regarding her with barely hidden disdain.
"I'd hoped never to see you again," Janice says.
Jane refrains from telling her the feeling is mutual. "We were the only ship in the area," she says instead. "We came as soon as we could."
Janice rolls her eyes. "Of course you did. The great Captain Kirk and her crew, riding to the rescue." Before Jane can respond, she continues, "I read about you, you know. Youngest captain in history, commander of the flagship, everyone's golden girl." She snorts derisively. "If they only knew."
Jane sighs. Same old Janice. "I didn't come here for an argument," she says.
Janice snorts again, turning her face away.
Jane spreads her hands, taking a step forward. "It's been fifteen years, Janice. How long are you going to keep hating me?"
Janice turns to her, eyes blazing. "For abandoning me when I needed you most? Let me think." Then suddenly the anger is gone and she looks on the verge of tears. "I loved you," she says. "We could have roamed the stars together, just the two of us. It would have been wonderful."
Jane shakes her head. "We'd have killed each other."
"Maybe that would have been better," Janice replies.
Jane's skin itches and she turns away, wishing Spock and the others would return. In an attempt to avoid further conversation, she begins to explore the room. Her attention is caught by the far wall, which is covered in strange markings, and intrigued, she moves closer. She's a few feet away when she sees movement out of the corner of her eye and is suddenly pulled against the wall. She struggles against invisible bonds as Janice gets out of bed and comes over to her, trying desperately to remain calm.
Janice flips a switch on what Jane suddenly realises is a giant machine, then comes to stand next to where Jane is pinned, helpless. She watches as Janice flips another switch, and then everything shifts. She doesn't have words to describe it; it's like falling, dying, being torn apart. And then suddenly it's over, and she feels like she's going to pass out.
She takes deep breaths, fighting to stay conscious, but it's not enough. Her last sight as the world goes dark is her own face staring back at her.
* * * * *
Spock and the others arrive at the point her tricorder indicated only a few moments after she first picked up the reading, but they are already too late. Spock watches as Doctor Coleman and McCoy examine the dead man, debating the cause of death, before carefully clearing her throat. "I believe we should return to the captain and Doctor Lester," she suggests. From what Jane has told her - and not told her - she does not want the two of them left alone any longer than necessary.
"I suppose you're right," McCoy sighs. "Nothing more we can do here."
They are about halfway back when Spock experiences a brief dizzy spell. It's gone as soon as it appeared, but the dread that accompanies it makes her speed up, intent on getting back to Jane as fast as possible.
But when they finally re-enter the room where they left Jane and Doctor Lester, everything seems fine. Jane is standing by Lester's bed, as they left her, and Lester herself is resting quietly.
Jane looks up as they enter. "Doctor McCoy," she says, and Spock relaxes a little at the familiar tone. "Your report?"
McCoy sighs. "We were too late. There was nothing we could do."
Jane nods. "Radiation?"
McCoy frowns. "Actually, I believe it was celebium. However, Doctor Coleman disagrees." His expression makes clear what he thinks of the other man's opinion. "And we must be certain because the treatment for celebium is quite-"
Coleman interrupts before McCoy can finish. "Doctor McCoy." He walks over to stand by Jane and Doctor Lester.
Immediately McCoy's attention is diverted. "Did you notice any unusual symptoms while we were gone?" he asks, frowning.
Jane shakes her head. "No, nothing at all. She was unconscious the entire time."
"Doctor Lester is near death." Coleman puts in.
McCoy glances at Jane. "We should beam her up to the Enterprise."
"I don't know about that," Coleman says, but Jane ignores him, pulling out a communicator.
"Captain Kirk to the Enterprise. Captain Kirk to the Enterprise."
Spock raises an eyebrow. There's something… off about Jane's demeanour, but she can't quite figure out what. She reasons that it is just the stress of meeting Doctor Lester again, but combined with the strange feeling from earlier it puts her on edge. She stands quietly while Jane gives the command to beam up and have a medical team standing by, but remains watchful, ready to act at the first sign of trouble.
* * * * *
When Jane regains consciousness, she's in sickbay. She lies there silently for a few seconds, trying to figure out how she ended up there. I was studying that strange carving, and then… Janice. She narrows her eyes in frustration as the memory comes flooding back. She did something to me. But what?
She glances up at the diagnostic screen. "Pulse, pressure, blood count, all body functions normal," she murmurs to herself. Well, whatever she did, it doesn't seem to have had much of an effect.
With a shrug, she pushes the covers aside and swings her legs over the side of the bed. But as she pushes herself to a standing position it becomes obvious that there is something wrong. Her body feels strange, like she's off-balance somehow. What the hell…?
Wanting reassurance, she closes her eyes and reaches along the mental thread that binds her to Spock. It isn't a full bond - Spock refuses to do it without a proper ceremony - but it's enough to give them some awareness of each other. But not this time; despite Jane's best attempts she can't feel Spock at all. It's as though their link is blocked somehow.
Stomach twisting with nerves, she tries a more human approach. "Doctor McCoy?" When he doesn't respond after a few seconds, she calls again, more sharply this time. "Doctor McCoy!" Bones, where are you? Usually whenever she gets injured he's right there watching over her, and his absence causes a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She's on the verge of calling again when someone finally enters. Unfortunately it's not McCoy, but Coleman, and the expression on his face makes the cold feeling grow worse.
"Where's Doctor McCoy?" Jane asks.
Coleman smiles. "Not here," he says. "I'm in charge now."
Jane grits her teeth and glares at him. "On whose authority?" she asks, but doesn't give him a chance to respond before continuing, "Last I checked Doctor McCoy was in command of medicine on this ship, and I demand you bring him here right now!"
Coleman merely stares at her, a smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "Doctor McCoy was taken off your case by Captain Kirk."
"I did no such thing!" Jane retorts.
Coleman's smile grows. "Of course you didn't. I was speaking of the captain."
"I am the captain!" Jane snaps, trying to ignore the horrible thought rising unwanted in the back of her mind. She couldn't have. But wasn't I just thinking something felt wrong? She glances down at her hands and feels panic start to rise as she realises they're too pale, the fingers too long. No. This is impossible.
As if sensing the pattern of her thoughts, Coleman says, "This will all go more smoothly if you just accept it, Doctor Lester."
Jane stares at him in horror. No. No! "I am not Janice Lester!" she protests desperately. "I'm Jane Kirk! She must have used that machine to swap our bodies."
"Of course," Coleman replies, clearly unimpressed.
Jane's temper flares. "I'm not making this up!" she exclaims. "She did this to me! She's driven herself mad with jealousy and hatred and ambition, and she's trying to take my place!"
Coleman just looks at her and Jane narrows her eyes. "But you already knew that, didn't you?" she asks. "You've been in on it from the start."
Before he can answer her, Nurse Chapel walks in and Jane's attention is instantly diverted. Oh, please, please.... "Nurse Chapel," she blurts. "I need to see Mister Spock and Doctor McCoy right away. They have to know I'm not Janice Lester. I may be imprisoned in her body, but I am not Janice Lester!"
Chapel glances at Coleman, and Jane's heart sinks. "She is suffering from the delusion of being Captain Kirk," Coleman tells Chapel dispassionately.
"I am Captain Kirk!" Jane responds in frustration, but from Chapel's expression it's obvious that her words aren't getting through. Still, she can't help but try one last time. "I demand to speak to Doctor McCoy!"
"The paranoia has been developing for the past six months," Coleman continues calmly, as though she hasn't spoken. "The radiation seems to have intensified it." He glances at her briefly, then turns his attention back to Chapel. "She must be kept sedated."
Chapel nods. "I'll prepare a mild sedative."
Jane watches her leave with quiet desperation. This can't be happening. She catches sight of her reflection - Janice's reflection - in a mirror and sits down rather abruptly on the bed.
"You are insane, Doctor Lester," Coleman says, with just the barest hint of smugness.
Jane stares numbly into the mirror. No, she thinks, but if this doesn't get fixed soon, I will be.
* * * * *
On the bridge, Spock is not having much more luck. She assumed Jane's mood would improve once they were back on the bridge and away from Doctor Lester, but all indications are that this was a forlorn hope.
Jane seems unusually touchy and argumentative, and in fact snaps at Spock when she questions the order to change course to the Benecia colony. Spock fails to understand the logic of going out of their way to drop off Doctor Lester when the facilities on Starbase Two are far superior, but gives up when it becomes clear that Jane isn't going to listen to her.
Back at her console, she busies herself with routine scans while she tries to understand Jane's unusual behaviour. It isn't the first time Jane has refused to listen to advice, but she is usually at least willing to consider it first. Spock does not want to believe that Jane's personal feelings for Doctor Lester could be clouding her judgement, but it is a possibility she will have to consider. The last time Jane acted this strangely was during the situation with Anton Karidian, and Spock remembers very well how that turned out.
She makes a mental note to talk to Jane as soon as possible. Whatever is going on with her partner, she will find it out, and then, she vows, she will do anything in her power to make it right.
* * * * *
"She should be waking up now."
Jane stirs as the voice disturbs her sleep. She fights her way back to consciousness to find Coleman standing by her bed holding a hypospray. And beside him, Janice. It's a strangely surreal feeling to see her own body from the outside, her own face twisted with triumph and hatred.
"Come to gloat?" Jane asks, pushing herself up on her elbows.
Janice puts a hand to her chest, acting shocked. "Really, Jane. Do you think me so petty?" Turning to Coleman, she adds, "Leave us."
Coleman nods. "I'll make sure you're not disturbed," he says. "But don't take too long. I can't hold them off forever."
Janice waves a hand. "You worry too much. No one's going to think twice about the captain visiting a patient, especially one she has a history with." When Coleman doesn't move, she rolls her eyes. "Fine. This shouldn't take long anyway."
Once he's gone, she turns to Jane, smiling. "I've never seen myself from the outside before," she says, echoing Jane's earlier thought. "Not bad."
She reaches out to touch Jane's hair and Jane instinctively recoils. Normally she could kick Janice's ass without breaking a sweat, but right now, still groggy from the sedative and stuck in a body she doesn't know how to use, she's at a severe disadvantage.
"Oh, relax," Janice says mockingly. "I'm not going to hurt you." She perches on the edge of the bed as if they're sisters sharing secrets. Jane tries not to cringe. "I was going to," Janice continues, in a tone most people would use to talk about the weather. "I'd have killed you back on the planet if your 'friends' hadn't interrupted me. But I've changed my mind since then. The idea of you locked in a psych ward on some out-of-the-way rock is far more interesting."
"You won't get away with this," Jane replies, then grimaces at the cliché. She shrugs it off and continues, "I have the best crew in Starfleet. They'll figure it out."
"I doubt that," Janice replies, nonchalant. "I've been preparing for this for months. You'd be surprised how well I know you." She taps her fingers against her lips thoughtfully. "Besides, even if they did figure out something was wrong, who would possibly suspect the truth?"
"We've seen stranger things," Jane retorts. "And fine, say you're right. Say your plan does come off without a hitch. How long do you think you're going to be able to keep it up? I've been in Starfleet for sixteen years, twelve of them on active duty. You flunked out of the academy and, as far as I know, haven't been on a starship since. You won't last a week as captain. I just pray to God you don't get anyone killed in the meantime."
Colour rises on Janice's cheeks. "I did not flunk out," she spits, rising to her feet. "I left because I was being unfairly treated. But you never cared about that, did you? All you ever cared about was yourself."
Jane feels anger rising in her chest and firmly pushes it down. "That's not true," she says, but she already knows it's hopeless. She hadn't been able to make Janice believe that fifteen years ago, there's no chance of her managing it now.
Sure enough, Janice just rolls her eyes. "Right." Then a slow smile crosses her face. "But that's not true anymore, is it?" she asks, and a shiver runs down Jane's spine. "You know, I did a lot of research into your time as captain, and almost every article and briefing I came across took time to mention how close you are to your first officer. 'The best team in Starfleet' and all that crap." She smiles. "Sounds like someone who could be a powerful ally."
"Spock would never join you," Jane scoffs.
Janice shrugs. "I hope you're wrong," she says. "Because she can be an ally or an enemy, and, well, I'm sure you know what happens to enemies."
Jane feels like she's been dipped in ice-water, and fights to keep it from showing on her - Janice's, her brain corrects - face. "You wouldn't dare," she retorts. "She's the first officer. There'll be an investigation. You'd be found out immediately."
Janice gives her a smug look. "You forget I'm a scientist. I know at least half-a-dozen substances that can kill without leaving a trace, most of which are right here on this ship." She laces her fingers together and gives Jane a wide smile. "But don't worry. I'm sure it won't come to that."
Terror streaks through Jane's veins. If she knows Spock, she's already suspicious of Janice, which means she's in real danger. She struggles out of bed, but by the time she's made it to her feet Janice is over by the door and Coleman is stepping back into the room.
Janice gives her a triumphant look and leans towards him. "I'm done here," she says. "You can sedate her again." She leaves, and Coleman steps forward.
Jane fights tooth and nail, every instinct screaming at her to find Spock and warn her before it's too late, but Coleman is stronger and before she knows it the hypospray is against her arm and everything is going black.
* * * * *
Spock frowns as she studies her console. Jane's behaviour has been growing increasingly irrational as the morning goes on, and the crew are beginning to notice. Any hope that the situation might sort itself out has long disappeared.
She decides that the best time to confront Jane will be during their lunch break, and spends the rest of the time until then working on a plan of attack. She will have to be subtle; in the mood she is currently in Jane may see any suggestion of emotional compromise as a threat to her command. Spock considers all the options and decides that she will likely have most success appealing to Jane as a partner, rather than as a first officer.
At precisely 1230, Spock steps down next to Jane's chair, prepared to put her plan into action. She does not expect to be greeted with warmth, but neither does she expect Jane to look at her with nothing less than... suspicion when she makes her offer of lunch. She covers it up almost at once, agreeing to Spock's offer almost cheerfully, but Spock is not fooled, and her concern for her partner only deepens.
Jane is reasonably normal during lunch, but the same wariness enters her eyes when Spock asks to speak with her alone. "I should get back to the bridge," she says.
"There's nothing there that cannot wait five minutes," Spock replies. "There are things I wish to discuss with you, away from the crew." Realising that might be taken the wrong way, she softens her expression slightly and adds, "Please, Jane." She hopes that the use of Jane's first name will indicate that this is not an official conversation.
Jane shrugs. "All right," she says, but the wariness doesn't leave her eyes.
Spock leads the way to an empty conference room a few doors down from the cafeteria. Jane turns to her the moment the door closed, crossing her arms defensively. "All right, Commander, what is it? I'm a busy woman."
Spock frowns at the use of her title. So much for her attempts at an informal conversation. Still, now that they're alone, she feels free to drop the professional mask she puts on for the rest of the crew. She moves closer to Jane and lays a hand on her arm, allowing her concern to show in her eyes. "Jane, t'hy'la, what is wrong?" she asks. "You are not acting like yourself."
Jane stares at her blankly, then looks down at the hand on her arm as if she's never seen it before. "What are you…." Then her eyes widen in understanding. "Well," she murmurs with a slow smile. "This explains a few things."
When she looks back up at Spock, her expression is nothing less than predatory. "You don't have to worry about me, Spock," she almost purrs, moving forward until her breasts are pressed against Spock's. "I know exactly what I'm doing."
Spock studies her, unwilling to be swayed so easily. "So you deny that the situation with Doctor Lester is affecting your behaviour? Your decision to send her to the Benecia colony-"
"Is not your concern," Jane interrupts. "Come on, Spock, is this really what you want to focus on right now?" She punctuates the question by reaching up and pulling Spock into a kiss.
It's hard, demanding, with none of Jane's usual tenderness, and despite the hands roaming across her body, Spock finds it hard to build up much enthusiasm. And in any case, this is hardly the time to get distracted.
Still, the contact gives rise to another idea, and Spock carefully reaches out along their link, searching for anything that might explain Jane's strange behaviour. But try as she might she can't pick up anything but surface emotions - mostly lust, and a strange sort of triumph - and finally comes to the conclusion that Jane is blocking her.
She pulls away, fighting back a sudden rush of hurt and confusion. They've been through a lot together, but Jane has never shut her out like this. She feels strangely bereft.
"Why have you blocked off our link?" she asks, and watches as Jane takes a step backwards.
If she had any doubts about something being wrong, they're shattered in that moment. Jane, her beloved captain and partner, looks scared. Of her.
"Are you reading my mind?" Jane asks. "I didn't give you permission to do that. I don't give you permission."
Spock stares at her. "It has never bothered you before. As I recall, you were the one who insisted on keeping the link in the first place." She can still remember Jane's reaction when she confessed, ashamed of her inability to keep their minds separate during their many melds. Can't we at least try it for a while before we break it? It could be useful. Besides, I like feeling close to you like this.
That was just over a year ago, but right now it feels like a lifetime.
Jane doesn't seem to be listening. "Did you see anything?" she demands.
Spock frowns, studying her. "No," she admits, after a moment. "You were blocking me." Jane seems to relax slightly at that, which only makes her more concerned.
"Well, good," Jane says. She smoothes down her uniform, collecting herself, and adds, "Look, Spock, I know you're trying to help, but I'd prefer if you stayed out of my head for the time being. I need to deal with this by myself."
By now Spock's instincts are blaring at her, but she just nods. "I understand, Jane. I was merely concerned for you."
Jane nods and smiles. "I know." She glances at the door and adds, "Well, if that's all, Mister Spock, I should get back to the bridge. Lots to do, you know."
"Indeed," Spock replies blandly. "I have some matters to attend to, but I should be up shortly."
Jane nods once more and leaves. Spock waits long enough for her to get back to the bridge, then heads down to sickbay. She and McCoy do not always see eye to eye, but if anyone can figure out what illness or entity has affected the captain, he can.
And while he's doing that, perhaps she can pay a visit to Doctor Lester.
* * * * *
The next time Jane awakens she finds herself secured to the bed by a strap across her chest. It seems her attempts to avoid sedation were in vain. Well, at least I know Janice didn't decide to murder me in my sleep….
She flinches as she realises she's not alone, but then relaxes as she realises it's only Chapel. A quick glance around tells her Coleman is nowhere in sight, and Jane's thoughts race, trying to figure out how to use this to her advantage.
"I'm sorry about before," she begins with a smile, feigning embarrassment. "I… wasn't myself." So to speak….
Chapel returns her smile, looking relieved. "That's all right," she replies. "What you've been through would've completely broken most of us."
Oh, you have no idea, Jane thinks, but she nods and tries to look properly harmless. "Well, I'm feeling much better now," she says. "But I'd still like to speak to Doctor McCoy, if that's possible?"
Chapel shakes her head. "I'm afraid that's against Doctor Coleman's orders."
Of course it is, Jane thinks bitterly, but she's careful to keep the disgust from showing on her face. Putting on her most ingratiating tone, she replies, "Oh. Well, in that case what about Commander Spock? I'd really like to thank her for her help down on the planet." She's always loathed playing the damsel-in-distress role, but right now she'll try anything that might get her out of here.
Chapel looks a little confused. "Wouldn't you rather talk to the captain?"
Jane bites her tongue on a retort. "I don't want to bother her," she lies smoothly.
Chapel seems to accept that. "Well, I'll talk to Commander Spock. Perhaps a short visit can be arranged." She pours out a glass of dark liquid and holds it out to Jane. "Drink this and I'll see what I can do."
Jane knows it isn't Chapel's fault - if their positions were reversed she wouldn't believe her either - but the nurse's humouring-the-crazy-person demeanour is getting on her nerves. Still, she plays along, taking the glass and pretending to take a sip. "It's good," she says. "Thank you."
Chapel smiles warmly. "I just have to step out for a minute, but I'll be right back," she says. "I'm glad you're feeling so much better."
The instant that she's out of sight Jane springs into action, dumping the liquid onto the floor before smashing the glass against the bed to make a knife. It only takes a second to cut through the strap holding her to the bed, and then she's up and out of the room, intending to find Spock, or McCoy, or both. If anyone will believe her, they will.
* * * * *
Spock enters sickbay to find McCoy studying tapes on the computer. "Doctor," she greets. "I wish to speak with you."
He puts down the tapes and sighs. "Let me guess, you're worried about Jane. Well, so am I."
Normally Spock would remind him that worry is an emotion, but right now her mind is on more important things. "You have also noticed her aberrant behaviour?" she asks.
He nods. "You know she took me off Doctor Lester's case? Coleman's in charge now." He shakes his head. "He's not fit to doctor a pigeon, but when I tried to tell Jane that Starfleet ruled him medically incompetent, she just shrugged it off. Insisted it was probably just a misunderstanding. That's not the Captain Kirk I know."
Spock frowns. "Indeed." Jane has never held with incompetence; she holds her crew to her own high standards. To brush aside such an issue as though it were nothing is entirely out of character. "She accused me of spying on her thoughts," she says, clasping her hands behind her back. "I was merely attempting to find out what was bothering her, but she seemed to view it as a violation." She studies the wall, trying to suppress a flash of hurt. "She has always welcomed me in the past. I do not understand what has changed."
She notices McCoy looking at her with something close to sympathy and straightens her back, fixing him with a look. "Do you have any idea what could be causing her behaviour?" she asks.
"Well, there are a lot of things that can cause personality changes like this," McCoy replies. "I'd have to run some tests to narrow it down."
Spock considers that. "I am not certain the captain will agree to undertake such tests in her present condition."
McCoy looks grim. "I'm aware of that. She's already turned me down once. This time I'm planning on making it an order."
Spock nods, then decides she might as well share her own theory with the doctor. "The captain was acting perfectly normally prior to her being left alone with Doctor Lester back on the planet. I thought perhaps a conversation with the doctor might shed some light on the situation."
McCoy shrugs. "It's worth a try. You go talk to Lester while I examine Jane."
As if on cue, the door slides open and Jane walks in. "Well, Doctor, I'm here," she says. She is smiling, but Spock notices it doesn't reach her eyes. "Run your tests, if you have to, but I still say it's a waste of time. I-"
She is cut off as the doors open again and Doctor Lester runs in. "Spock! Bones!" she cries. "Don't let them lock me away again. I have to talk to you!"
Bones? Spock thinks. She's never heard anyone other than Jane call him that.
She watches as Jane advances on Doctor Lester, who backs away, looking scared. She raises her hands as Jane pulls her arm back and knocks her out in one punch.
Spock stares in shock. She has seen Jane fight a hundred times, but she has never seen her take down an opponent who was unarmed and unresisting. It is anathema to everything that Jane Kirk stands for. From McCoy's expression, he's thinking the same thing.
"She could have killed someone," Jane says. "I want her locked up." She turns to the security guards who have just arrived and tells them, "Put her in isolation in her room, and maintain a twenty four hour watch. Absolutely no one is to talk to her without my permission. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," the guards reply, and between them they take Doctor Lester away.
"I'd like to run those tests now," McCoy says quietly. Jane nods and re-enters sickbay as if nothing has happened. McCoy pauses long enough to exchange worried glances with Spock, then follows Jane.
Spock turns away as the door closes behind them. With Jane distracted, it seems the perfect time to finally have that talk with Janice Lester.
* * * * *
Jane regains consciousness to find herself back in sickbay. "This really needs to stop," she mutters, rubbing gently at the place where Janice hit her. Slowly she sits up, then stands and approaches the door. It opens to reveal a guard - she recognises him as Lieutenant Galloway - whose hand goes to the phaser at his hip the moment he catches sight of her. Sighing, she steps back to let the door shut before rubbing her temples, trying to ease her headache.
Absently, she reaches again for her link to Spock, but it's still blocked. Now that she knows what's going on, it almost makes sense; the link is equal parts mental and physical, it isn't surprising that something like this would mess with it. Still, it's frustrating to be denied even that small comfort.
She's pacing back and forth, contemplating her - extremely limited - options, when she hears voices outside the door. Curious, she stops pacing and moves closer, trying to make out the words. Suddenly the door slides open and, to her relief, reveals the one person in the universe she most wants to see.
"I wish to speak with you, Doctor Lester," Spock says.
Her demeanour lacks any of Spock's usual warmth, but right now Jane doesn't care. It takes a great deal of effort just to keep from throwing herself into Spock's arms. If it weren't for Galloway, who has followed Spock in, she thinks she might do it.
"It's good to see you," she says instead.
Spock raises an eyebrow, but otherwise ignores her comment. "Captain Kirk has been acting strangely since our stop at Camus II," she says coolly. "My observations suggest that you are the cause."
Jane can't keep from laughing at that. "Oh, I am," she replies, shaking her head. "Just not the way you think."
Hastily she sketches out the events on Camus II and everything that followed. Spock listens without interrupting, but gives no sign that she believes Jane's words.
"Complete life-entity transfer with the aid of a mechanical device," she says, when Jane has finished speaking. To Jane's relief she seems to be at least considering the possibility.
Jane nods emphatically. "Yes, exactly."
Spock raises her eyebrows. "To my knowledge, such a thing has never been successfully accomplished anywhere in the galaxy."
"It was accomplished on Camus II," Jane argues, gesturing at her body. "Take a good look. I'm a living example."
Spock just looks at her. "That is your claim," she replies. "You have yet to substantiate it."
She studies Jane for a long moment, then adds, "At this moment Doctor McCoy is examining the captain for psychological changes." Jane's heart leaps - so they did realise something was wrong - but Spock hasn't finished. "Should he uncover anything unusual, that would be acceptable evidence. Your personal testimony is not."
Jane feels a rush of frustration. "Spock, I know you. You've risked your life to help me more times than I can count. The spores on Gamma Trianguli VI, the asteroid on Amerind, the Tholians." She can still remember how terrified she was back then, floating in nothingness, wondering if she'd ever get back to see her ship and her crew. But the thing she remembers most is the awe she felt when she found out how far Spock had been willing to go to save her.
Spock's expression doesn't change. "Those events have been recorded. They could have become known to you."
Jane frowns. I could tell you things no one else knows, she thinks wryly, but she's not sure she really wants to get into that with the - male - lieutenant still watching them.
She decides to take a different tack, and steps forward, into Spock's personal space. Looking her straight in the eyes, she says softly, "You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe. You know her thoughts. What do they tell you?"
Spock hesitates, then slowly raises a hand. Jane rejoices inwardly, closing her eyes in anticipation as Spock's fingers settle on her face. She feels Spock's mind brush against hers tentatively and surges to greet it, basking in the knowledge that she's no longer alone. Spock!
She's greeted by amazement, as if, even now, Spock can't quite believe it. Jane?
She almost laughs in relief. You were expecting someone else? Quickly she sends Spock her memories of Camus II, of the machine and its effects. She doesn't have the control for it to be more than a blur of pictures and thoughts and emotions, but it's enough for Spock to understand, and believe, and the rush of love and anger and concern she gets in return is almost dizzying.
I was so afraid she'd hurt you, Jane thinks, basking in the return of Spock's mental presence.
My Jane, Spock returns affectionately, then adds more seriously, You have my word that I will fix this.
Jane doesn't doubt it for a second.
Carefully, Spock eases out of the meld and for a moment they just stare at each other. They're less than a foot apart, Spock's hand still resting on her face, and it's Jane can do not to hold herself back, keep from burying her hands in that short, silky hair and kissing Spock until both of them are breathless. She manages to restrain herself, though, and takes a shaky step backwards.
Spock blinks, as if coming out of a trance, and drops her hand. "I believe you," she says quietly, "but my belief is not acceptable evidence. Evidence must be factual." Her eyes betray her words; to Spock, Jane's word is evidence.
She's right, though, if they're going to convince anyone else they're going to need hard facts.
"Doctor McCoy may be of help," Spock suggests, and lays a hand on Jane's arm. "Come with me."
As Spock turns towards the doorway, Galloway steps in front of them. "I'm sorry, sir," he says," but Doctor Lester cannot leave here."
Spock raises an eyebrow. "I plan to accompany her. She will not be left alone."
"You're asking me to violate the captain's orders," Galloway argues.
"The captain did not give those orders," Spock replies calmly. "Therefore there can be no violation."
A look of pure disbelief crosses the lieutenant's face at her words. "You're as mad as she is!" he says. "I won't allow it. You're to leave here at once." He crosses his arms.
Spock tilts her head as if thinking it over. "Certainly, Lieutenant," she says. "We must all do our duty."
Jane realises what's about to happen next a second before it does. Spock goes for the neck pinch with her right hand, and Galloway blocks it, but he doesn't expect the second attack from the left. Unfortunately he manages to call for security before he falls unconscious.
Jane helps Spock pull him into the sickbay room, but they don't even make it out of the doorway before the other guard arrives. Spock steps forward and attempts to convince him that everything is under control, but when that doesn't work she again goes for the nerve pinch. It turns out to be unnecessary, however, as it has barely taken effect before McCoy and Janice show up with more security guards.
Jane feels Spock's fingers curling around her own as Janice glares at them. The captain in her protests that she doesn't need anyone's protection, but the rest of her knows how hard it is for Spock to show her affection in front of others, and is grateful for the gesture.
"Phasers," Janice orders, and Jane tenses in spite of herself. She's spent enough time unconscious for one day.
Spock glares at Janice. "Violence is unnecessary," she says coldly. "We offer no resistance."
Janice narrows her eyes and stalks over to the communication point. Not taking her eyes off of them, she toggles the button and announces, "Attention, all personnel. First Officer Spock has been placed under arrest. She has conspired with Doctor Lester to take over the ship from your captain. A hearing will be immediately convened to consider the charges and specifications of a general court martial on the charge of mutiny."
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