Morning weirdness
This morning was... weird. Really weird. It started off with a dream I was having. Okay, okay. It started off as a very nice erotic dream about a certain somebody special *coughs* SO! We're in the middle of.. um... whatever? And someone grabs me and is all frantic and stuff. Says I HAVE TO go to this departmental meeting. I just stare at them and go "WHAT??? NOW???" They say yes, absolutely. I HAVE TO go to this meeting. I point out I'm just the clerk, so why the f**k do I have to go. They wave that off and drag me away.
And just as I was having fun, too. Bastards.
SO! I go to the departmental meeting. Faculty members are there, and everyone is talking to me. Blah, blah, blah. I'm cranky because I just got pulled away from a rather enjoyable interlude (or something that had promised to be as we were just getting started. Bastards) into all this franticness. So I sit and start to gather my thoughts. More and more chairs keep getting added to the table, more and more people start showing up to mill around.
Then there's this chap who rolls up in a wheelchair and positions it next to me. It was Daniel, this wonderful guy I knew from school. Knew him since junior high - he was the guy who, at all the school dances, went and danced with each and every girl there so she wouldn't feel left out or be down on herself. Into high school, he always had a smile for everyone. He got into drugs pretty heavy, but he still stopped whenever he saw me to give me a hug and ask how I was doing. He was also murdered eight years ago in his home and, because of the fact that he was a druggy, there was no investigation into his death. They chalked it up to a drug-related incident, and that was all.
I cried my eyes out when I found out about Daniel.
But in the dream, there he was. And he wanted to talk to me. NEEDED to talk to me. In my dream, I didn't remember he was dead, only that I missed him, that I wanted to talk to him, too. Every time he'd start to say anything to me, we'd get interrupted by a faculty member who NEEDED SOMETHING DONE RIGHT NOW. So I'd tell Dan I'd be with him in just a moment, and said faculty member would drag him away (made easier by the fact that he was in a wheelchair). I dealt with endless emergencies, and I kept looking up to find Daniel (usually being carted to the other side of the room), and would gesture at him it would be just one more moment...
... when I woke up, I started crying. I never got that moment with him, never got to talk to him. Never got to say everything I wanted to say to him. I remember all the wonderful things of him in school, and remembered all the despair and frustration when I found out about his murder and that no one was doing anything about it. I laid in bed, a good 40 minutes before my alarm went off, and simply remembered.
I drifted back to sleep, and the alarm blared all too soon. I clambered out of bed (took me 10 minutes with how sore I was). Started going about my morning, part of which was shuffling into the kitchen to get my lunch and breakfast for the day and set it in my bag so I wouldn't forget them.
And there, lying in the middle of the kitchen floor, a friendship bracelet. Not just any friendship bracelet, but the one I wore for four years straight in junior and into my freshman year of high school. I recognized it immediately, and I have no idea where it came from. I haven't seen it since high school, and I frankly hadn't thought about it. But it was lying there, in the middle of the floor, and it hadn't been there when I went to bed last night. It hadn't been in the piles and piles of memories I had in my room when it was a spare room and I had to clean it out. At least I hadn't seen it. And suddenly, it was there, in the middle of the floor, on the very morning I had dreamt of Daniel.
I picked it up, and put it on. Still wearing it now. And it somehow makes me feel... something. I don't know. Just something.
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And now... the ugliness with Shane this morning.
Shane's been talking to alot of people online lately. Alot of females. I do NOT have a problem with this, I'm all FOR this, as a matter of fact. I'm happy he's doing SOMETHING, and I'll be very happy when he's fully over me.
Now, there's this girl he's mentioned over and over again (okay, there's several of them, but I'm only talking about this one in particular). Apparently she is the one who called at 1a a couple of weeks ago and hung up on me when I said Shane wasn't there (you do NOT call my house at 1a unless someone is dead or giving birth. PERIOD). Every time Shane has talked about this particular girl, it's always been highly insulting, highly condescending. He's always insulted he, in some small way, whenever he's mentioned her.
Well, yesterday, I tried calling him several times to give him some news about a mutual friend of ours (wanted to tell him 'cause I knew I would forget), and it was constantly busy. I teased him about that when I finally got ahold of him, purely teasing, and he said he had been on the phone with Abby. No big. I tell him what I needed to tell him, and go on.
Last night, when I went to bed, the phone was next to me. When I got up this morning, went and woke Shane up, the phone had been moved to his room. Got me thinking...
... so he drove me to work this morning, and I tell him what's on my mind. Namely because I'm too damn blunt, and he wants me to be his friend, so he's going to get all of it like I treat all my other friends. ie: when I think he's being a jackass, he's going to get an earful.
So I start talking as soon as we're on the road. I tell him that, first, I knew he was talking to Abby last nighht. (Right, like I stopped there). I continued to point out that he either didn't like her and was leading her on, or he DID like her and he was insulting her. So if he liked her, he needed to stop insulting her to me. Or he did NOT like her, in which case he needed to stop leading her on. It wasn't cool, either way, and he needed to fix it whatever it was because he's talking to her two or three times a day, so it was either one or the other.
He got REALLY upset over this. I point out that I'd be HAPPY if he found someone, HAPPY about all of it. But he needed to stop being a jackass about it. Not for me, but for the girl. I'm sorry, you don't constantly insult the gal you like (in my most humble of opinions) and you don't talk all the time to someone you DON'T like and lead them on. That last part is just you stroking your own ego.
I also point out that he DOES tend to have white-knight syndrome, so he talks to women he doesn't particularly like, but he keeps doing it because they need him. He's done this since we got together. Hell, it was a source of very bad blood when we first got together because he was ignoring me for some of his damsels in distress. ALOT.
So I told him to be sure this wasn't one of those situations, and that he needs to not insult the gal if he likes her.
He called me a bit ago to growl at me about how guilty I made him feel. Fact is, he didn't deny it. In fact, he said he really likes this girl. I told him 'Great! So stop insulting.' He told me that just made him feel guiltier, but I shrugged it off. He's the one doing it, I was simply pointing out that he was.
So... yeah... that's it on that front...
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And finally, office ugliness!
So, we have a one year lecturer who was filling in for a prof who quit last year. He applied to get it full-time, and lo! It all finally went through, and he got it! YAY!!
Problem, however...
... he wasn't the first pick. The head of the department actually wanted the other person they had it narrowed down to. Not him. She turned it down, so it went to M. Great! He got it! Woo-hoo!! Too bad the department head was talking about it, rather loudly how M. wasn't the first pick. And too bad Crystal adores M. as her fav prof. And too bad she heard what Andrew was saying.
After Crystal left, Julie called me back into her office and told me to make sure Crystal didn't tell M. what she heard. To make sure Crystal did not rock the boat, etc, etc. I told Julie that Cyrstal would NOT be telling M. She didn't want to upset him. He got the job, what else matters?
So Crystal comes in this morning and tells me that M. was told by another prof that he was the second pick, that the only reason he got the job was becasue the first choice turned it down.
Oh. Crap.
I tell Julie because, you know what? I don't want Crystal being fired over this - it was intimated yesterday afternoon that she would lose her job if she told M. what was going on. So I told Julie so Julie would know it was this other prof. Julie tells me to tell Andrew. I tell Andrew, and Crystal hears me. Gets pissed off. REALLY pissed off at me.
I tried telling her that the reason I did it was so they would know what was going on, who told who what, and that no one would get in trouble. She's upset now, afraid I got everyone in trouble, and she was the root because she told me. Andrew went to her to ask for clarification of what exactly was said, if anyone was really upset, etc, etc. He wanted to know so he would know if he had to take care of anything.
After he was done (and she lied very poorly to him), she glared at me, then stomped out.
*sighs* I like Crystal. I didn't want her fired. I like M., and I didn't want him upset. So apparently I screwed up on both fronts. Ugh. Make the world stop for a few minutes, please?
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That's it. That BETTER be it. Nothing else today. Nothing else is ALLOWED today. I've taken about all I can handle on all fronts. *sighs* Stupid morning. I hope I'm allowed to hit shit in class tonight; that'll make up for it all.
And just as I was having fun, too. Bastards.
SO! I go to the departmental meeting. Faculty members are there, and everyone is talking to me. Blah, blah, blah. I'm cranky because I just got pulled away from a rather enjoyable interlude (or something that had promised to be as we were just getting started. Bastards) into all this franticness. So I sit and start to gather my thoughts. More and more chairs keep getting added to the table, more and more people start showing up to mill around.
Then there's this chap who rolls up in a wheelchair and positions it next to me. It was Daniel, this wonderful guy I knew from school. Knew him since junior high - he was the guy who, at all the school dances, went and danced with each and every girl there so she wouldn't feel left out or be down on herself. Into high school, he always had a smile for everyone. He got into drugs pretty heavy, but he still stopped whenever he saw me to give me a hug and ask how I was doing. He was also murdered eight years ago in his home and, because of the fact that he was a druggy, there was no investigation into his death. They chalked it up to a drug-related incident, and that was all.
I cried my eyes out when I found out about Daniel.
But in the dream, there he was. And he wanted to talk to me. NEEDED to talk to me. In my dream, I didn't remember he was dead, only that I missed him, that I wanted to talk to him, too. Every time he'd start to say anything to me, we'd get interrupted by a faculty member who NEEDED SOMETHING DONE RIGHT NOW. So I'd tell Dan I'd be with him in just a moment, and said faculty member would drag him away (made easier by the fact that he was in a wheelchair). I dealt with endless emergencies, and I kept looking up to find Daniel (usually being carted to the other side of the room), and would gesture at him it would be just one more moment...
... when I woke up, I started crying. I never got that moment with him, never got to talk to him. Never got to say everything I wanted to say to him. I remember all the wonderful things of him in school, and remembered all the despair and frustration when I found out about his murder and that no one was doing anything about it. I laid in bed, a good 40 minutes before my alarm went off, and simply remembered.
I drifted back to sleep, and the alarm blared all too soon. I clambered out of bed (took me 10 minutes with how sore I was). Started going about my morning, part of which was shuffling into the kitchen to get my lunch and breakfast for the day and set it in my bag so I wouldn't forget them.
And there, lying in the middle of the kitchen floor, a friendship bracelet. Not just any friendship bracelet, but the one I wore for four years straight in junior and into my freshman year of high school. I recognized it immediately, and I have no idea where it came from. I haven't seen it since high school, and I frankly hadn't thought about it. But it was lying there, in the middle of the floor, and it hadn't been there when I went to bed last night. It hadn't been in the piles and piles of memories I had in my room when it was a spare room and I had to clean it out. At least I hadn't seen it. And suddenly, it was there, in the middle of the floor, on the very morning I had dreamt of Daniel.
I picked it up, and put it on. Still wearing it now. And it somehow makes me feel... something. I don't know. Just something.
----------------------------
And now... the ugliness with Shane this morning.
Shane's been talking to alot of people online lately. Alot of females. I do NOT have a problem with this, I'm all FOR this, as a matter of fact. I'm happy he's doing SOMETHING, and I'll be very happy when he's fully over me.
Now, there's this girl he's mentioned over and over again (okay, there's several of them, but I'm only talking about this one in particular). Apparently she is the one who called at 1a a couple of weeks ago and hung up on me when I said Shane wasn't there (you do NOT call my house at 1a unless someone is dead or giving birth. PERIOD). Every time Shane has talked about this particular girl, it's always been highly insulting, highly condescending. He's always insulted he, in some small way, whenever he's mentioned her.
Well, yesterday, I tried calling him several times to give him some news about a mutual friend of ours (wanted to tell him 'cause I knew I would forget), and it was constantly busy. I teased him about that when I finally got ahold of him, purely teasing, and he said he had been on the phone with Abby. No big. I tell him what I needed to tell him, and go on.
Last night, when I went to bed, the phone was next to me. When I got up this morning, went and woke Shane up, the phone had been moved to his room. Got me thinking...
... so he drove me to work this morning, and I tell him what's on my mind. Namely because I'm too damn blunt, and he wants me to be his friend, so he's going to get all of it like I treat all my other friends. ie: when I think he's being a jackass, he's going to get an earful.
So I start talking as soon as we're on the road. I tell him that, first, I knew he was talking to Abby last nighht. (Right, like I stopped there). I continued to point out that he either didn't like her and was leading her on, or he DID like her and he was insulting her. So if he liked her, he needed to stop insulting her to me. Or he did NOT like her, in which case he needed to stop leading her on. It wasn't cool, either way, and he needed to fix it whatever it was because he's talking to her two or three times a day, so it was either one or the other.
He got REALLY upset over this. I point out that I'd be HAPPY if he found someone, HAPPY about all of it. But he needed to stop being a jackass about it. Not for me, but for the girl. I'm sorry, you don't constantly insult the gal you like (in my most humble of opinions) and you don't talk all the time to someone you DON'T like and lead them on. That last part is just you stroking your own ego.
I also point out that he DOES tend to have white-knight syndrome, so he talks to women he doesn't particularly like, but he keeps doing it because they need him. He's done this since we got together. Hell, it was a source of very bad blood when we first got together because he was ignoring me for some of his damsels in distress. ALOT.
So I told him to be sure this wasn't one of those situations, and that he needs to not insult the gal if he likes her.
He called me a bit ago to growl at me about how guilty I made him feel. Fact is, he didn't deny it. In fact, he said he really likes this girl. I told him 'Great! So stop insulting.' He told me that just made him feel guiltier, but I shrugged it off. He's the one doing it, I was simply pointing out that he was.
So... yeah... that's it on that front...
----------------------
And finally, office ugliness!
So, we have a one year lecturer who was filling in for a prof who quit last year. He applied to get it full-time, and lo! It all finally went through, and he got it! YAY!!
Problem, however...
... he wasn't the first pick. The head of the department actually wanted the other person they had it narrowed down to. Not him. She turned it down, so it went to M. Great! He got it! Woo-hoo!! Too bad the department head was talking about it, rather loudly how M. wasn't the first pick. And too bad Crystal adores M. as her fav prof. And too bad she heard what Andrew was saying.
After Crystal left, Julie called me back into her office and told me to make sure Crystal didn't tell M. what she heard. To make sure Crystal did not rock the boat, etc, etc. I told Julie that Cyrstal would NOT be telling M. She didn't want to upset him. He got the job, what else matters?
So Crystal comes in this morning and tells me that M. was told by another prof that he was the second pick, that the only reason he got the job was becasue the first choice turned it down.
Oh. Crap.
I tell Julie because, you know what? I don't want Crystal being fired over this - it was intimated yesterday afternoon that she would lose her job if she told M. what was going on. So I told Julie so Julie would know it was this other prof. Julie tells me to tell Andrew. I tell Andrew, and Crystal hears me. Gets pissed off. REALLY pissed off at me.
I tried telling her that the reason I did it was so they would know what was going on, who told who what, and that no one would get in trouble. She's upset now, afraid I got everyone in trouble, and she was the root because she told me. Andrew went to her to ask for clarification of what exactly was said, if anyone was really upset, etc, etc. He wanted to know so he would know if he had to take care of anything.
After he was done (and she lied very poorly to him), she glared at me, then stomped out.
*sighs* I like Crystal. I didn't want her fired. I like M., and I didn't want him upset. So apparently I screwed up on both fronts. Ugh. Make the world stop for a few minutes, please?
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That's it. That BETTER be it. Nothing else today. Nothing else is ALLOWED today. I've taken about all I can handle on all fronts. *sighs* Stupid morning. I hope I'm allowed to hit shit in class tonight; that'll make up for it all.