it seems over time the "craziness" lessens as resilience takes over, but the coping that once saved me fades as well. these were techniques mastered that saved my life, abilities i was able to focus on for hours. now i feel like i'm done for. focusing was my favorite thing to do ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

fucking up shit. things are great; i want something else instead. no yes indeed-y that's fucking up shit. it's my opinion i am greedy and selfish. i'm engaged in many positive coping skills aside from one...: "YOU SUCK DUDE, STACEY, ARE YOU LISTENING HARD ENOUGH? LISTEN HARDER! HARDER!: YOU SUCK, YOU SUCK."

the voice of reason wishes to integrate. maturation
will not resist. cannot help but seek
the meaning of life-
in heat, misery.
but this too shall pass. under the bridge and
under the full moon,
this too shall pass. gliding across
an electric ocean singing about
togetherness,

it sought humanity and got it.

thirteen-stepping. leaning toward anarchist dad.
bible scholar mom. seagulls on the loose
idealizing remission. the tao, confucius, yoga,
zen. defending ascetics. headbanging.
what will and what will not go down
the toilet today. fear of success.
compassion. the yellow
pages. the manic book.

being nice ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

hi my name is...alexandrite
B*78bHb8
i have prayed to this problem for too long and now
&*566YG&^7^7^
sometimes i think i'd like to be surrounded by other people who can relate
&(57%6&77^7
without inhibition about what has driven us insane,
&&*7^67fTyffYt&*^4557898
that's not permissible or something

pray to the junebugs
pray to the black clouds
( Read more... )

]   full moon forward, and here
is when
i'm to howl alone in a tunnel
]
over borrowing from fire gone dulled
]
yet still
i
proceed
to warm my hands over it wholly.
if i am to bare children, they are
to be to this moon--

-our moon the godmother; to whom
our loyalties are devoted.

perhaps these children will see
as we do-

hundreds of millions of ( Read more... )

marble, grating. pathology. (do you
agree with it? do you just go along with it?
)

the speed of light can be
                             screwed over. there is

a body to be sold in a sable.
departure from hell. home.

deformed cheetah head. one late
night god was
owed a debt. in mysterious ways,

we molted
making way for tow-trucks
out for ( Read more... )