Comments | lalaith_paola: Unexpected Occurrence

lalaith_paola

Unexpected Occurrence

Mar 06, 2013 23:21

Finally...after I don't know anymore how many months...I was finally able to finish another chapter of my story Unexpected Occurrence. I'm a bit rusty so don't expect anything exceptional. I'll accept any critics or suggestions regarding what I wrote and ideas about future developments. I need your help, girls ( Read more... )

fanfiction, the young riders, unexpected occurence, kid and lou

Comments 15

mercy2908 March 7 2013, 09:34:23 UTC

I'm so glad you posted a new chapter. I really missed your writing... very much. I loved this chapter. I still don't like Lou very much... she's such a whiner, and Kid's so patient with her. I have to understand that the changes she's going through are scary and overwhelming. I'm glad, though, that she seems to have reconsidered her attitude and is trying to do her best. I hope they're now on the mend.

Oh Wicks! What a creep! Why doesn't Kid wonder how Lou knew Wicks' name? She sounds too familiar with him in her use of the name, and on hearing her eveybody would assume she hadn't just met him. Maybe you can add that to Kid's thoughts... just an idea.

Thanks a lot

lalaith_paola March 7 2013, 15:28:17 UTC

LOL...you're right. Pregnancy hormones or not, Lou is really becoming unbearable with all her whinings!
I'm glad you liked that I'm making her trying to be doing something to improve her situation instead of whine and curse her stupidity!
Thanks for the advices about Kid. Actually I wanted to convey that Kid has understood there's something fishy about Wicks and Lou, that she might know him, but I wanted him not to voice his doubts or act on his concerns (like he did in the TVShow) because he know her new equilibrium with Lou is still fragile and he doesn't want to ruin it. He's waiting and hoping for Lou to open up to him.
I'll modify the last paragraph to explain it better!

mercy2908 March 7 2013, 21:10:11 UTC

I'm looking forward what Lou and Kid are going to do next. I'm intrigued.

mercy2908 March 7 2013, 11:51:48 UTC

By the way, I can't see the graphic for the story.

lalaith_paola March 7 2013, 15:30:27 UTC

Weird...I can see it on my pc...
I'll ask if the other girls are having your same problems or not...

mercy2908 March 7 2013, 21:10:45 UTC

Oh what a shame! Well, I don't know what's wrong with my computer. :(

wendymypooh March 7 2013, 15:18:54 UTC

Yay! I'm so glad you are writing again Paola. I want to first wish you a Happy Birthday...Hope you have a wonderful day.

I kind of have to agree with Mercy...Lou's being a bit whiny...something that isn't usually a part of her nature. Maybe its because she is feeling so unsure and inadequate in her role as mother and wife. So maybe, once she regains some of her confidence, she won't be so whiny.

Although, I perfectly understand her response to Wicks...after what he had done to her. I wonder when she will feel comfortable enough telling Kid what she Wicks had done to her. I hope to read more soon.

lalaith_paola March 7 2013, 15:33:19 UTC

Thank you for your birthday wishes Wendy! ^_^

ehehe...I'm making Lou not very likeable in this story of mine, am I not? ;)

Basically she felt unsure of herself as a woman because of what happened to ehr in the past (I'll try to explain it better in the next chapters). Until she won't be able to address this problem (Wicks and what he did to her), she won't be able to move on and face her new life as a wife and mother.

Paola

wendymypooh March 7 2013, 16:34:45 UTC

You are welcome. It's not that I don't think her likable...its I think you are allowing us to see more of her vulnerability or uncertainty about being a woman more than what we were shown in the series...yes, there were glimpses...but they were very small fragments because most of the time Lou was so consumed with showing everyone just how tough she was and able to do the same things as Kid, Jimmy, and the others.

lalaith_paola March 7 2013, 15:38:11 UTC

PS: can you see the graphic of the story? Mercy can't and I want to understand if it's a problem of her pc or of the way I uploaded the file.

Thread 7

darkshornet March 18 2013, 01:02:40 UTC

I can see why Lou feels she is not pulling her weight. However the pregnancy has put her in a place where she can't be as physically active, especially in the beginning.
Kid is being a gentleman not pushing her to reveal her secret, yet she must know that is going to have to tell him something.

lalaith_paola March 18 2013, 10:02:28 UTC

I've never been pregnant but I imagine that during those months your body feels tired and wear and changes in ways you aren't used to. I think this must be frustrating to a certain degree, even more for one in Lou's situation who wasn't expecting a pregnancy and never had the chance to come into terms with her feminity and now she's thrown in this whole new world all of a sudden.
As for Kid understanding that Lou's hiding something but not wanting to intrude. He's hoping she'll open up to him eventually, but he knows her by know and know that pushing her isn't the right move and risks to cause Lou to get angry and close in herself even more.

Paola