Title : Yuri's wish
Author :
laliana_pafiskaPairing : YamaChii
Genre : Angst, Fluff
Rating : PG
Disclaimer : I don't own anything but the plot.
Summary : Yuri couldn't stand seeing YamaJima's fanservice anymore.
SUPER DELICATE. They had performed the song countless times, in School Kakumei, Shounen Club, Ichiban Show Song, and it wasn't just that. Ryosuke and Yuto also did their fanservice moment during rehearsals, not that it was something to practice, just for fun. Little did they know that a pair of brown eyes was glaring at them every time...
Yet, the short boy couldn't do anything. What rights did he have to interfere? None. He could just stand there, helpless, and focus on the dance. Making a mistake was out of the question. He decided to let it pass, thinking that it's only because the two of them starred in Risou no Musuko, nothing more. How he wished he could have been in Yuto's place though. How he wished all this could just have ended there. Yuri was unable to predict what would happen next.
During concerts, it wasn't a simple pointing-fingers move anymore. It had more contact, it became a hug. Of course, Yuri already had one but he felt like it was ages ago. YamaJima's pairing was getting more and more popular, so that wasn't really surprising. But, it became worse and worse, and he could do nothing except putting up with it.
It was on August 4th 2012, the worst day of his life. Not a pointing-fingers move, neither a hug, this time, it was different. Yuto approached Ryosuke until their faces were only inches away, before he lifted his hand to cover Ryosuke's face and mouth. The second after, all the fans started screaming, loud enough to make somebody become deaf. They were almost kissing. Almost yes, because the fans couldn't see their faces properly, since Yuto covered them with his hand, so a real kiss wasn't needed. Yuto only pretended to kiss Ryosuke. Yet, even if it was only that, Yuri felt like his heart was torn into pieces. He knew it wasn't, but from where he was, it could have looked real. Yuri's world had already shattered that exact minute, but Yuto continued. When a fan asked Ryosuke if she could hug him, Yuto sharply said 'no'.
"Who are you to say no, Yuto?" Kota asked him, curiously.
After putting his arm around Ryosuke's waist, the tall boy explained himself :
"He's my boyfriend."
Another loud screaming followed. Ryosuke simply smiled at him, and bowed in apologize to the fan, whereas Yuri was taken aback by the sudden "confession". He desperately tried to think of a way to escape from there. He felt like he was trapped in a cage, with no way out. He was glad it was the MC part. If he stayed motionless, nobody would notice it. But, as his eyes were unsteady, they stopped wavering when they realized another pair of eyes was staring at them. It was Yuto's eyes. They had that smugly look... He smirked at Yuri. He ruined his whole life that night, and he simply smirked at him. What was Yuri supposed to understand?
- - -
He couldn't just stand there and watch. It was getting too much. It was during lunch time, Ryosuke and Yuto were being all lovey dovey, while he was eating alone. They were even feeding each other.
"Are they a couple or what?" he wondered. He tried his best not to look at them, to distract his mind thanks to his food, to no avail. Every time another member asked him if something was wrong, he shook his head, saying he was just tired. He kept staring at them.. or rather, at him. He loved that cute and sincere smile of his. He looked so innocent when he smiled. He looked so different from when he's throwing sexy glances at the camera, during performances, or when he posed for magazines. Of course he smiled too those times. But it was nothing compared to the smile only his surroundings could see, his most natural smile. It was one of the reasons that made Yuri fall for him.
It wasn't complicated, he loved everything about him. He loved his body, from head to toe. He loved his personality, his modesty, his dorkiness. He loved how awesome he was when he was performing. Ryosuke was perfect to him. And above all, Ryosuke's smile was the most beautiful smile somebody could ever see. Before, it used to be directed to Yuri, and it was enough for him to get butterflies in the stomach. It was embarrassing, but he was happy. Yet, it seemed like it was years ago. Now, Ryosuke was giving that perfect smile of his to Yuto and Yuri was only a spectator. He was okay with just looking at Ryosuke from afar. He knew it was a one-sided love anyway. Nevertheless, he couldn't stand being made fun of, and not doing nothing about it. His patience had limits.. and Yuto crossed them.
Not wasting anymore seconds gazing at them, without any precise aim, he walked towards their table hastily and put both hands on it, in anger.
"That's enough, Yuto!" he shouted at the black haired boy. The two boys, who were interrupted during their lunch, dumbfounded, stared at the short boy. Yuri kept his look on Yuto but still felt Ryosuke's on him. Saying that it was embarrassing would be an euphemism. Yuri didn't think twice before acting this way. His hands were trembling, he was unsure, hesitating. What was now Ryosuke thinking about him? What kind of image did he have of him now?
"Great, Chinen. Even when it looked impossible for the situation to get worse, you ruined everything... again." he thought to himself. He was convinced Ryosuke won't ever speak to him again. Well, he will.. as a bandmate, nothing more. It wasn't his intention at first, to show this bad and ugly side of him but it was too late now. There was no coming back. He had to keep a confident expression on his face.
"What are you talking about, Chii?" asked Yuto, with a surprised look.
"Don't act innocent!" snapped Yuri.
"Of course, you know what I'm talking about. You smirked at me during yesterday's concert, didn't you? My eyes didn't deceive me." He continued, forgetting about his surroundings, even Ryosuke. Luckily, there was only the three of them in the room.
"So you discovered everything, huh? You knew about my feelings. So, you wanted to use them in order to destroy me, bit by bit, right? You wanted me to envy you and succeeded. Are you pleased with this? I bet you are. Yes, I'm in love with Yamachan. I love him more than anything else in this world---"
Yuri abruptly stopped talking when he realized what he was doing. Ryosuke was looking at him with big curious eyes while Yuto had a proud smile on his face. Yuri had the urge to punch the taller boy, nevertheless, making things worse wasn't a part of his plan. Not that he really had a plan in the first place.. and it was too late anyway. Jealous, childish... He wished Ryosuke would have never known about his hidden character. He wanted to stay discreet for his whole life, being able to look at the person he loved was enough to bring him happiness, and only show his cheerful character. Sadly, he miserably failed.
A shade of pink started coloring Yuri's cheeks, he was blushing more and more by the minute. He felt like his heart could explode anytime. It was beating so fast, he hoped they couldn't hear it (even though that was practically impossible). He just confessed.. indirectly, against his own will. Feeling Ryosuke's look on him was getting unbearable and the heavy silence in the room wasn't helping either. What was he waiting for? An anwser? Of course not. He already knew it, and he really didn't want to hear it from Ryosuke's mouth. He knew that would kill him from the inside, and he wasn't masochist enough to wish for that. The only thing he wanted to do was to run away. Then, that's what he did.
He took his hands off the table and glanced one last time at Ryosuke, who looked like he wanted to say something but was unable to do so. Yuri faked a smile before he dashed off the room. He put a hand on his heart, begging it to stop beating so fast. However, it wasn't his heart's fault, he was the one who needed to calm down. He didn't know where he was heading. He didn't care actually.
- - -
His feet naturally leaded him to his favourite place : a little park, with a lot of sunflowers. Not many people came here, so he could feel at ease and rest peacefully. He sat next to a tree, gazing at the sunflowers. Each time he felt down, doing this helped him to distract his mind and forget about what has been worrying him.
He closed his eyes.. yet, the first thing or rather the first person that came to his mind was him. He could still picture perfectly the face he had. The more he tried to forget it, the more it was getting difficult, nearly impossible, to do so. One tear started flowing on his right cheek.
Why am I crying?
Why can't it be like usually?
Why does it have to be different when it comes to him?
Unable to find the replies to his questions, Yuri couldn't help breaking into tears. His heart never hurt so much before. He let his face down, brought his knees close to his chest and hugged them tight. He was glad nobody could see him in such a pitiful state.
"Chinen."
He heard his voice. He was so crazy to the extent that he even heard Ryosuke's voice in his head.
"Yuri!"
How he wished Ryosuke would call him by his first name. How he wished that was real. He kept crying but hearing his voice, whether it was real or not didn't matter to him, was soothing. It was the only voice that had this special power...
"Yamachan..." he whispered. That was pretty useless if nobody was there, he was aware of it. Nevertheless, he needed his presence. He needed him to be forever by his side. He needed Ryosuke. That's why he hoped that would happen somehow if he called him. That was his only wish at the moment... He smiled at his own stupidity, and slowly, he stopped weeping.
Suddenly, he felt hands on his shoulders, that forced him to stand up, and he quickly found himself in someone else's arms.
Wasn't I supposed to be alone?
He didn't comprehend the situation. Everything was happening so fast. It looked like a dream to him. Even more when he realized who was hugging him. A dark brown-haired boy, slightly taller than Yuri, with strong muscuclar arms... He had no doubt about it : it was him.
Am I dreaming?
"You're not." Yuri jumped a bit, startled by the other's voice, who seemed to be able to read his thoughts. The taller boy pulled back, letting Yuri see his face, and kept holding him by his shoulders. Yuri remained still, having a hard time to understand what was happening. He was staring absent-mindedly at Ryosuke, who stared back at him. The short boy didn't know how to react. He couldn't help thinking all this was just a part of his imagination. It seemed too awesome to be true.
Ryosuke noticed the traces of tears which were still on his face thus, he started wiping them with his right hand, gently. Yuri blushed due to the sudden action. He didn't dare looking at him anymore.
"Is it really you, Yamachan?" he asked, with a shy voice.
"Mou~ don't you recognize your bandmate and friend anymore?" Ryosuke pouted cutely, and that's exactly when Yuri glanced at him, which resulted in his heart beating fast once again. "Or rather, should I say.. the person you fell in love with?" With this, Yuri's heart skipped a beat. Why did he have to tease him now? He ignored his question, clearing his throat.
"Why are you here?" was the next question that came to his mind. He accepted the fact that he wasn't dreaming, but he had to be sure about Ryosuke's intentions. He was now looking at him with a serious look, trying to be as composed as he could. He was a little scared of the answer yet, now that Ryosuke was in front of him, he didn't have the choice. Escaping wasn't an option.
"I came to see my Yuri." said Ryosuke, with a sincere expression. He didn't look like he was joking. Alas, Yuri knew about his amazing acting. It wouldn't be so surprising if it was just an act, coming from such a talented person like Ryosuke. Consequently, Yuri didn't believe him and rolled his eyes.
"Now you're making fun of me, just like Yuto huh?" he retorted, trying to sound a bit angry. Just trying, since being mad at Ryosuke was simply impossible to him.
"No! Yuto did it for me.. for us. He knew that I was totally unable to confess my feelings. Besides, he said he had a plan, so I just went along. I guess.. it worked?" he explained. Ryosuke grinned and started rubbing his own nape, due to both embarrassment and happiness.
"I'd never have thought my feelings were reciprocal though... That justifies the lack of reaction I had when you kind of confessed to me earlier, right?" he continued. Yuri was taken aback by what he just admitted. It was making him go crazy.
"Wait, what do you mean?" Everything that came out of Yuri's mouth were questions. He thought he should maybe trust Ryosuke a bit more, instead of blurting out every single question that crossed his mind. He was conscious of the fact that it was also hard for Ryosuke. If he ruined his only chance now, the rest of his life would be meaningless. Although he decided to keep talking, he had no choice but to stay silent since he felt Ryosuke's lips on his. When the older boy pulled back, Yuri blinked many times. He didn't know where to look at, the only thing he knew was that he wanted to avoid Ryosuke's eyes. He was completely troubled. When Ryosuke noticed it, he took Yuri's chin in his hand and forced him to look back at him.
"I love you, Yuri." he confessed, smiling honestly. Yuri couldn't believe what he just heard. Yet, Ryosuke's smile was so pure. So pure that it couldn't be a lie. Unlike others, his smile wasn't a lie. Furthermore, he could read it on his face : Ryosuke wanted to hear him saying it too. He had puppy eyes anyway, Yuri couldn't do anything except giving in.
"I love you too, Yamachan." he finally confessed directly to him, something he thought he would never do. But he did it. Actually, everything that happened in the last few minutes was something that he'd never have expected. He wasn't prepared for this, he just applied what his heart told him to do. As for Ryosuke, he had an amused smirk on his face.
"I'm disappointed.. I thought you'd call me by my first name." he said, faking a pout. He was confident, knowing that Yuri couldn't resist to it. The shorter boy let out an inaudible 'ah' before he prepared himself for the next words he was going to pronounce. He inhaled and exhaled deeply prior to comply with his beloved's wishes.
"I love you.. Ryosuke!" Yuri confessed again, coming back to his usual cheerful and hyper self. At last, the older boy could see the cutest smile of the world... That was the case for him, at least.
"And I promise to be forever by your side, Yuri." After saying this, Ryosuke kissed the brown-haired boy again, as a way to seal his promise.
Yuri's wish had been granted.
A/N : Okay uh, what to say? This is a fail *sigh* It must be full of mistakes, I'm sorry about that.
I'd never have thought that I would post a fic here... but this is for Asti-chan (
hikarichan92) ~ since she told me to post it. Sorry if this sucks :(
The idea came to my mind after reading the YamaJima's reports in Taiwan.. I don't know why, I suddenly had the urge to write something then. I'm not sure I will write anything else soon though (maybe it's better this way XD).
Comments are highly appreciated! :)