Rambly and angry

[lalouve]

I don't generally read news which seem to appeal to the vulture in the audience, but for some reason, I have been reading about the Foster family in the UK. I'm not sure what it is about it I find compelling - I am clinging to the hope that it is not whatever makes people gawk at traffic accidents. For those who have managed to avoid the news, it

Comments

[globedoc]

There is a wonderful girl on my f-list here on LJ who can't go back to her school because her abusive ex is very capable of very extreme violence; her entire life has to be put on hold because the police will do nothing unless he threatens her IN PERSON. Never mind the scary e-mails.

A dear friend of mine ended up moving, changing her phone number, dropping friends who knew them both, just for her safety.

I worked on someone who had PTSD because of a very violent relationship she was in; it was etched into her muscles, nerves - every fiber of her body.

If you manage to build a different world, count me in; I'm very far beyond tired. I look at an entry on my own journal that I made THREE YEARS AGO and realize nothing's changed since.

[lalouve]

It feels like Sisyphos labour, doesn't it?
Still, I believe that individual actions do change the world: maybe just a little of it, maybe only for a few people, but that small part and those few people count, too. And you are definitely one of those who change the world for the better.

Now, I only know you over the web, but I don't think that matters because a)I believe the persona you portray on the web is reasonably genuine - it is harder than people think to fake consistently - and b)it doesn't matter anyway: what I see on the web is what counts, as I have no other information. When I read your entries and responses and am cheered and touched (and often flattered) those feelings are real, and they make a difference to what kind of day I'm having.

Every time I read an entry by you, even those that are sad, they are life-affirming, considerate, caring, and reaching out. Your love for other people comes through loud and clear, and if love won't change the world, nothing will.

[globedoc]

Thank you; what you wrote means a lot to me, more than you probably realize.
You often restore a bit of faith in humanity for me, and sometimes you even restore a bit of faith in myself, one of the things about you I'm very grateful for.

[intertext]

I become filled with rage at the all too common scene of a rejected husband or lover who kills woman, children and then himself. It seems so cowardly and yet an inexorable gesture in the "I'm stronger than you; therefore, I'm entitled" world.

One of my closest friends in RL was in an abusive relationship. She moved half-way across the country (which in Canada is a Long Way) to escape him. He followed her, broke into her apartment and trashed it, including smearing excrement on the walls. Fortunately, she had friends around her and we protected her and hid her from him and acted as witnesses to the police so she was able to get a restraining order. It took her years to be able to come back to the city where he lives and I don't think she ever completely "got over" it.

Yes. It fills me with rage. But I agree with you about love changing the world. I need to learn to change the world with love, not rage.

[lalouve]

The level of entitlement in some men strike me as well beyond any definition of 'sane.'

Everyone seems to have friends who have experienced abuse and persecution; it says something about how terribly common it is. I hate the feeling of powerlessness when you watch someone having to run away, leave their homes and jobs and families, just to escape a violent man.

And I'm not good at changing the world with love, either. I want to take an axe to it. But I do believe, deep down, that another axe is not what the world needs.

[fox_in_sand]

This news story has incredibly saddened and angered me too. I have mentioned the gendered nature of this sort of thing to people before and they cannot seem to accept it.

[lalouve]

Familicide is almost entirely male-perpetrated (unlike filicide). And isn't it tiresome with people who will not see that something is gendered despite all evidence...