oh, matt denny
you truly are an over achieving science nerd with an amazing sense of humor. but thats why we love you.
so, i had this really intense conversation with matt denny last night about god and science. if you wish to read, click below.
Google123: lets see...do you have anything thats valuable that weighs less than your cell phone? do you have a cell phone?
mahnderina: i do have a cell phone
mahnderina: and i have a ring of my grand mothers thats more valuable and weighs less
Google123: ooh, saucy
mahnderina: also, avas char braceletta is in my possesion
Google123: i thought of it because im looking at this really old lock
mahnderina: woah
Google123: my great aunt gave to me
Google123: and i know nothing about it
Google123: only that its primitive as far as lokcs go
mahnderina: why did she give you a lock?
Google123: i mean the key is just a thing yuou push in a hole
Google123: its really cool
Google123: she had one
Google123: and decided to give it to me
Google123: you know how old people are...
Google123: always giving you things
Google123: well they give me things...
mahnderina: hahahaha
Google123: so now im really curious
mahnderina: but was it like a big present to-do thing
Google123: if this is a flubdub
Google123: or a tight like mayan lock
mahnderina: or just like random
Google123: no it was like "look at this, neat huh?
mahnderina: ok, good
Google123: its in the shape of an animal
mahnderina: i was worried it was like all wrapped up
Google123: and the tail is the thing that locks
mahnderina: what animal?
Google123: i cant really tell; a wildcat maybe?
mahnderina: how spirited
mahnderina: ooo! maybe the secret to the lock
mahnderina: will unlock some hidden mysteries
Google123: how cool would that be if it weas a myustery
mahnderina: about MA
Google123: but as far as i know all it does is open and close
mahnderina: and your great aunt is/ was a psychic witch
Google123: i want to know if its like antique or from a guatemalan street vendor
Google123: she is sorta spiritual
mahnderina: who knew you would need it once you got to MA
Google123: in a weird but good way
mahnderina: hahaha
Google123: do you believe an anything supernatural?
Google123: or are you religious?
mahnderina: im kind of religious... but not in the xtian sense
mahnderina: i kind of believe in supernatural things
mahnderina: it depends on what
Google123: well im a straight scientist in the sense that i feel that there is a perfectly logical explanation to everything
Google123: well its hard to say
Google123: to someone who is not like me
Google123: so ill just ignore that comment...
Google123: moving on...
mahnderina: no, get that
mahnderina: *i get that
mahnderina: i used to be that way
Google123: until?
mahnderina: well, i still am
mahnderina: i still think that science is right
mahnderina: but i do beileve in some form of god
Google123: okay
mahnderina: yes
Google123: well
Google123: i dont know how you feel about this
Google123: but ill say it anyways
Google123: because i started the story
mahnderina: sounds good
Google123: so she analyzed my handwriting...
Google123: ...and she started telling me about myself
Google123: in a sorta spiritual way
Google123: and her daughter (my moms cousin) is the same way
Google123: she uses my characteristics to infer more about me
Google123: but more than infer, its like telling me about my soul and stuff
Google123: so what i was going to say was that, as much as i think its hogwash
mahnderina: yeah
Google123: for some reason i am very comforted by the things they say
Google123: same with just street psychics
Google123: and palm readers
Google123: i mean, deep down i sorta feel like theyre full of shit, but on a certain level i love to hear what they have to say
Google123: i dont know if its more of a "story-teller" to "listener" relationship
mahnderina: i think there is some truth behind like palm readings and tarot and astrology
Google123: or a "spiritual guidance person" to "spirit" relationship
mahnderina: and tea readings
Google123: whats tea readings
mahnderina: and handwritting readings
mahnderina: where you drink some tea and there are like some leaves left in it
mahnderina: and then the leaves are left in some shape in the bottom
mahnderina: and the shape means something
Google123: see stuff like tarot gives me this warm fuzzy, but it doesnt make sense to me. handwriting makes more sense.
Google123: but it doesnt give me the warm fuzzy
mahnderina: see, i believe in fate
Google123: its almost like, the things i "know" dont work...its like i WANT them to work
Google123: like i wish there were supernatural entities
mahnderina: because i believe in the idea of a collective self
mahnderina: which is god or what evs
Google123: whats this collective self
Google123: of whic you speak
mahnderina: like that all souls are connected and are part of a greater single soul
mahnderina: and so everyone and everything is connected
Google123: thats something i want to be true, but i guess ive just developed the idea that it isnt
Google123: i dont know...wild stuff
Google123: i love thinking about it though
Google123: and i usually am up for paying for a reading of any sort
mahnderina: see, its weird
mahnderina: i used to think it wasnt true
mahnderina: but i do now
mahnderina: but, i still think there is logic and science
mahnderina: i think theres a reason to why we discovered evolution
mahnderina: i believe we were given "creation" stories to deal with the idea of pre non-existance until we were developed enough as a species to find out the truth
mahnderina: but i think that evoltion was destined
Google123: i love the idea of destiny
Google123: i havent decided if i believe it
Google123: the thing is if i were to believe it, my belief would be scientifically based
Google123: like the way i see it, if molecules are moving, colliding, reacting, etc
Google123: then what is conscience?
mahnderina: ballet is really the only reason in it, and my only proof
Google123: i mean are we actually telling molecules to move in a cetain way
Google123: or are we just living out what the big bang started
Google123: the molecules happened to align this way
mahnderina: well, i mean, if you are going to relate it to a molecular level.. then i guess i do think they were destined as well, in a way
mahnderina: b/c they have their own systems
Google123: well the way i see it is that anything that happens is the result of a previous event, so conscience doesnt make sense
Google123: i have a book ive been meaning to read
Google123: called "introducing conscience"
Google123: but its too techinical
mahnderina: but i feel like there are so many opportunities so why does one even happen the way it does?
Google123: that was a star trek episode
Google123: all these parallel universes accidentally joined
Google123: each universe is the way it happened slightly differently
Google123: so instead of one thing happene,d everything possible happened
Google123: do you know about schroedingers cat?
Google123: i dont know how to spell it
mahnderina: no, i dont
mahnderina: inform me
Google123: theres this idea
Google123: that
Google123: basically if you dont know which of several options has occured
Google123: they all did
Google123: and the example is this cat...
Google123: i dont remember specifics...
Google123: but you put a cat in a box
Google123: totally enclosed
Google123: with like a few chemicals
Google123: and if the cat pushes a lever
Google123: it dies
Google123: otherwise it lives
Google123: but we, outside the container
Google123: dont know if the cat is alive or dead
Google123: so -- this is actually a scientific theory i think -- we assume the cat is BOTH alive and dead
Google123: at the same time
mahnderina: woah
Google123: and by opening the box, we force one of these possibilities tobecome a reality
mahnderina: do you ever open it tocheck?
mahnderina: i see
Google123: well thats the thing
Google123: if you open it and find a dead cat
Google123: you cant say the cat died earlier
mahnderina: but those are all just possibilities
Google123: the cat was still both alive and dead
Google123: until you opened it
mahnderina: yeah
Google123: i have a lot of reading i wanted to do
Google123: theres also an issue of sci am that is all about the big bang
Google123: and what existed, if anything, before the big bang
mahnderina: but, back to the cat
Google123: sorry yes
mahnderina: see, we dont know what happened to the cat, but the cat does
mahnderina: the cat still had its own destiny and either pulled the lever when it was time or didnt
Google123: then its almost like parallel universes there; i mean with the cat, everything outside the box happens
Google123: EVERYTHING happens
mahnderina: but i think that it doesnt mtter
mahnderina: whether we know what happens to it
mahnderina: or it knows
mahnderina: becasue the only real manifestation of humanity we can fully explore and expirience is ourselves
mahnderina: we all have a purpose on this earth and effect the people around us and inturn effect others we aren't even around
Google123: so...in a sense the only reality is what we make for ourselves...or did i just pull that out of my ass?
mahnderina: no, yeah
Google123: no yeah
Google123: thats awesome
mahnderina: because you basically make choices through out the day
mahnderina: and the choices you make effect your perception of how effective or full of life the day was
Google123: see but im skeptical that we make choices because i cant see how, if these molecules are moving a certain way, it could have happened any other way
mahnderina: and so life becomes what you chose it to be to some extent
mahnderina: wait, what do you mena
mahnderina: *mean?
mahnderina: like we chose for the molecules?
Google123: no i mean...so youre in chem right
Google123: so for molecules to interact, they have to collide "just so"
Google123: right?
mahnderina: yeah
Google123: so i mean how do we make decisions? we cant tell molecules where to go an how to orient themselves
Google123: so it seems to me like
Google123: molecules are interacting
Google123: and they coincedentally
Google123: formed us
Google123: and we coincedentally perceive conscioussness
Google123: because thats how the molecules of the universe happened to become oriented
mahnderina: yes... but doesnt it seem odd that, in a system that relies heavily on the idea of entropy there is a system
mahnderina: that there are only certain molecules
mahnderina: instead of infinate
mahnderina: that the atoms have to be just right and shift themselves to do so in order to bond
mahnderina: that the molecules have to collide just right in order to interact
Google123: its so bizarre that, when the universe was "born" everything was made out of the same stuff basically
Google123: and now we have this...
mahnderina: yeah
Google123: stuff clumped together
Google123: and now we are discussing it
Google123: made out of the same stuff that was around billions of years ago
Google123: oriented properly
mahnderina: and perhaps the collective self is just the undertsanding that billions of years ago, everything that is was all one mass of the same stuff
mahnderina: because, if you read about jungian psychology, it is believed that we undertsand and carry the understandings of our ancestors
Google123: ooh
mahnderina: similarly we still have the natural protective insticts of out ancestoral animal like humans and even to when we were monkeys
mahnderina: then why wouldnt we still feel the pull and understaning that we were all one with all matter oce
mahnderina: *once
Google123: i need to buy waking life because when i start talking about this stuff it makes me want to watch it again and again
mahnderina: waking life?
Google123: you havent seen it?
mahnderina: no, i havent
Google123: can we see it together please?
Google123: i beg of you
mahnderina: yes!
mahnderina: i was just going to suggest that
mahnderina: ok matt denny
mahnderina: its a date
Google123: ooh, a date
mahnderina: :-*
Google123: :-P
i would suggest skipping the first fourth or so i you want the real meat. i just think his auntie's lock was funny.
------
i saw darcie today. i've been feeling oddly at peace w/ this whole ballet thing tha last few weeks. (i think its probably b/c i wasnt there all last week... sinal infection). i feel like i have a control on my emotions about ballet finally. and its nice to not take everything about it so seriously.
began working on my new solo- diane and acteon. i love. constume = love. this will be fun. (might commission aves to make it)
art of the day
today i think im just going to go with an old classic. hey, what can i say? i fell in love with it (ha!) when i first saw it in a museum and have a print of it hanging right to the up-left of my head.
picasso's "the lovers"
what more is there to say but that it is simplistically beautiful and sweetly realistic.
you can now call yourself "cultured". (anthony d. would be proud)