Awkward (Due South)
Title: Awkward
Author: Laurieisme (revolution25)
Fandom: Due South
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Season 3
Summary: Huey and Dewy have a conversation and awkwardness follows.
A/N: Written for mmom. Apparently I can't get Sesame Street porn out of my head. There's some more mentioned in this fic.
"They were gay."
"They were not gay."
"You're just upset because they resemble you and your little partner over there," he said pointing with his coffee cup.
"Hey, I'm not yellow. I'm black and beautiful." Huey said standing up a bit straighter.
"Why do you get to be Bert?" Dewy said as he approached them.
"What do you mean?"
"Why couldn't I be Bert?" Dewy asked.
"I'm going to get out of the way of this lover's quarrel," Kowalski said slipping out and calling after Fraser to wait up.
"Because Bert's taller." Huey said hoping that would be the end of it.
"So you're going to perpetuate the stereotype that all black men are tall?" Dewy asked.
"I'm just saying I'm taller than you."
"Like that means anything, you're a puppet, you don't get to choose based on how tall you are. It's all by personality."
"I'd still be Bert." Huey said opening up a folder trying to get out of this conversation. It was of course no luck since Dewy sat on his desk, and on the file he was trying to pretend to read.
"Why? What makes you more Bert than me?"
"I'm the straight man."
"You ever notice how their beds look a lot like the ones on 'I Love Lucy?'"
"Are you one of those weirdo’s who think they're gay? They're puppets man, children's show puppets."
"No I never said I thought that, that would be weird," Dewy paused for a long time, "but it would make jerking off really difficult. I mean going at it, thinking about the hot chick down the street, which I guess by default would be Zoey... Or you're sound asleep then all of a sudden you hear that creaking in the bed next to you. You know what it is, and you feel awkward, like you wanna ask how much longer so you can go to sleep, or maybe offer a porno. But then you start thinking of your favorite porno, and you get hard, and you hope it only has to do with the thought of the porn and not that your best friend is jerking off so close to you. Then the therapy bills, which you can't afford on a co.... puppet's salary."
Without another word Dewy got off the desk and went to go pester Frannie, while Huey got up and tried to find Ray. He'd have some advice on what to do about this.
Author: Laurieisme (revolution25)
Fandom: Due South
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Season 3
Summary: Huey and Dewy have a conversation and awkwardness follows.
A/N: Written for mmom. Apparently I can't get Sesame Street porn out of my head. There's some more mentioned in this fic.
"They were gay."
"They were not gay."
"You're just upset because they resemble you and your little partner over there," he said pointing with his coffee cup.
"Hey, I'm not yellow. I'm black and beautiful." Huey said standing up a bit straighter.
"Why do you get to be Bert?" Dewy said as he approached them.
"What do you mean?"
"Why couldn't I be Bert?" Dewy asked.
"I'm going to get out of the way of this lover's quarrel," Kowalski said slipping out and calling after Fraser to wait up.
"Because Bert's taller." Huey said hoping that would be the end of it.
"So you're going to perpetuate the stereotype that all black men are tall?" Dewy asked.
"I'm just saying I'm taller than you."
"Like that means anything, you're a puppet, you don't get to choose based on how tall you are. It's all by personality."
"I'd still be Bert." Huey said opening up a folder trying to get out of this conversation. It was of course no luck since Dewy sat on his desk, and on the file he was trying to pretend to read.
"Why? What makes you more Bert than me?"
"I'm the straight man."
"You ever notice how their beds look a lot like the ones on 'I Love Lucy?'"
"Are you one of those weirdo’s who think they're gay? They're puppets man, children's show puppets."
"No I never said I thought that, that would be weird," Dewy paused for a long time, "but it would make jerking off really difficult. I mean going at it, thinking about the hot chick down the street, which I guess by default would be Zoey... Or you're sound asleep then all of a sudden you hear that creaking in the bed next to you. You know what it is, and you feel awkward, like you wanna ask how much longer so you can go to sleep, or maybe offer a porno. But then you start thinking of your favorite porno, and you get hard, and you hope it only has to do with the thought of the porn and not that your best friend is jerking off so close to you. Then the therapy bills, which you can't afford on a co.... puppet's salary."
Without another word Dewy got off the desk and went to go pester Frannie, while Huey got up and tried to find Ray. He'd have some advice on what to do about this.