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[mrsblackorchid]

Ever since i got married, the pressure to have a kid has been on. What the hell? It's as if all the mothers want you to endure the pain they have had as soon as possible

Comments

[irinarasp]

Waiting is smart. But if the only reason you're waiting is the fear of childbirth, you might want to consider adoption.

[mrsblackorchid]

I would never qualify for adoption. At least not from another country. I don't know how much that is in the US but there are a lot of downfalls with the U.S.

Yeah, I am waiting until i am ready.

[myrgthful]

I think the women who tell you BS like that have no clue what they're saying. They probably mean well, and in their current state they can't imagine anyone not feeling the way they do. But then, they've already been there, been through birth.

You could also consider an elective C-section... Some doctors might entertain the possibility.

Yeah, childbirth is painful and it's hard. The pregnancy before it is no picnic, either. Morning sickness. Food cravings. Achy joints. False-labor pains. Checkups. Having strange people palpate your body in "the bikini zone". And then, childbirth. You expand to accomodate your baby coming out. You feel a great deal of fear. And all of this happens if you don't experience some of the other, possibly more dangerous complications. Tearing. Diabetes insipidus. Pre-eclampsia. Placenta previa

[mrsblackorchid]

When you say essentially painless, what about the tearing and all of that? I want as many drugs that is legally allowed when that happens. :(

[myrgthful]

That's why they do episiotomies, sometimes. And you do get pain medication after the baby comes out... they won't leave you high and dry. ;-)

I've been there for several childbirths. Trust me: this is one of the more wonderful things in the world, hard as it is.

I'm confident that, once you've been through that gauntlet, you'll be a different person. Stronger. Better. And here's a funny lesson which parenthood (and childbirth) have taught me: what you go through for a person, intensifies your love for that person. You wouldn't think it would work that way, but it does.

[joeisaddrgod]

if the courtney love [gaping vagina] part scares you,
maybe adoption would be nice?

thats what i wanna do =)

[mrsblackorchid]

Yes, adoption is beyond wonderful. My brother adopted, but there is a lot of criteria which i wouldn't meet. I am not sure how it is with every adoption agency but with my brother's they required a minimum household income of $100k and the whole adoption (not including the 2, 2-week trips to russia and the cost of losing the work pay for a month) cost them well over $40k

[finding_her]

Well there are different agencies like you said. My parents certainly never would have met that criteria. My parents had the social services visits as well. They adopted through Catholic Charities.

Even though I don't want children, it's just not for me, I would love to be pregnant. That would make the whole thing worthwhile to me.

[_vanityfair]

I think you shoulda post this in brutal_honesty since you have received good comments... It's all up to you. Just give you a wee bit suggestion. :)

[mrsblackorchid]

I might do that... i never feel "brutal" enough though.

[corinthia]

Bah! Ignore them. Enjoy your husband for a few years, then have babies if you want them. Its one of the things that my husband and I wish we had done. I had our daughter shortly after we got married, so we never really got to enjoy each other as husband/wife.