Comments | laminator_x: Memories Dreams and Reflections.

laminator_x

Memories Dreams and Reflections.

Dec 18, 2005 21:42

My wife, Kathy, and I are splitting up.
The girl who talked about the socialist revolution in the cofee shop eight years ago now dreams of picket fences and life in the country. The boy who was lost and drifting after half his family died doesn't need looking after anymore. We helped each other face our demons (my grief, her abuse and depression), ( Read more... )

Comments 12

lostraven December 19 2005, 04:45:24 UTC

*nods*

An unenviable position in which to be. But permanency of relation
just isn't. You mention that you guys don't want the same life.
This leads me to believe that while it will be incredibly awkward
at first, you both have at least some vague idea what direction to
move towards next.

Here's to hoping it's less awkward than it has to be for you both.

Be well,

-Shawn

laminator_x December 19 2005, 12:46:51 UTC

Not much awkwardness yet. That'll come, I'm sure, but now it's kind of a serene relief from two years of quiet tension. We still had a big hug before she left for work this morning. Supporting eachother in tough spots is what we were great at, it's the rest of life that wasn't so hot.

travelbunny December 19 2005, 06:42:26 UTC

Oh my. THis seems to be the season. so composed you seem, but I know how the most sane of breakups aren't always so clear on the inside. It's good to know what you want and to realize what's best, having your heart accept it and forcing your memories muffled, is the hardest part. losing that familiarity ios rough. good luck to you.

laminator_x December 19 2005, 12:58:26 UTC

Thanks, I consider myself fortunate already; both for the good times we did have as well as for having been released from my vows before they became a prison.

You're right though, that the hardest part will be after she'd gone.

jamietoon December 19 2005, 09:45:28 UTC

Wow. Never in a million years would I have seen that coming, but I guess it's good that it WASN'T a bitter, angry decision that I COULD see coming.
Well, I can't say that I don't think you will come out of this a better person.

laminator_x December 19 2005, 13:05:48 UTC

I have a feeling that will be a common response. She'd always put on a happy face when others were around. I think I'm already a better person for having had her in my life. I'm perhaps a bit less of a starry eyed optimist than I was at 23, but then who isn't.

fridayschild December 19 2005, 15:43:38 UTC

it seems strange to say congratulations, but somehow even stranger to say 'i'm sorry that it didn't work out' given how calm and sure you seem that this is for the best. it really is admirable that you realized exactly when to say stop. to appreciate that you have come through something and are better for knowing the person, without anger or resentment in the end of it all seems incredibly rare.

good luck for the future...

(a_la_prochaine)

laminator_x December 19 2005, 22:53:26 UTC

Wow, good to hear from you. I didn't know you were back. My feeling are certainly mixed, and I'm not quite the picture of zen acceptance as I may sound. I'm going to miss her, and the good that we had. Thanks.

black_petunia December 19 2005, 16:09:37 UTC

Wow,
I just met both of you, and this makes me really sad. I'm a bit speechless. I hope I can still get to know both of you. It's so confusing considering comments that were made that night about the love between you. I hope that you are well. Thank you for joining me for our revelry.

laminator_x December 19 2005, 23:08:17 UTC

This'll be a common reaction, I think. On the surface noone would have thought that there was a problem, and we do love one another. We're great in social situations, vacations, and crises. We just cant figure out how make a day-by-day life together, and the tension between our differing needs has been twisting us around for a long time now.

I'm not exactly well, but I'm looking forward to things not being so hard.

I mentionned your note to Kathy, and she still wants to be your friend, as do I. There're no sides to be taken here. This isn't some nasty cold-war type split.

black_petunia December 20 2005, 20:08:09 UTC

Good, I don't take sides. I hope that things do get better for both of you. I sent out a thank you to the email Kathy gave me and I'm not sure who, if anyone, got it. Take care, and also, I have seen your band. You played at Sally T's a few months back the same night as Tory Z. Starbuck. We missed his band but did get to see yours. We actually thought you were quite good, it reminded me a bit of Joy Division. I look forward to seeing you play again soon.