(no subject)
¶ and if you're still breathing, then you're the lucky one
VIXX; Jaehwan-centric and all of the others
Genre: angst
Rating: pg-15 ? R for violence?
Warning: Character!Death ; graphic depiction of violence?, blood... Poorly written
Word count: 1428
Lee Jaehwan should have known better than to befriend the bunch of thugs of his high school, for they were meant to end up in a pool of blood at his feet.
►►
Jaehwan has been warned about them by other classmates, has been told to stay away by his parents. But it doesn't matter as the five boys save him from being beaten up by some of the bullies who love to pick on him.
It doesn't matter because Taekwoon is there to stop the blow before it actually takes his breathe away. Wonsik is there to let out an unpleasant chuckle while playing with a stone in his hand, threatening eyes focused on them. Hongbin and Sanghyuk are there to grab the bullies by the collar and make them go away. Hakyeon is the one who shakes Jaehwan's shoulder in a gentle way, and asks “man, are you alright?” with the brightest smile.
It doesn't matter, because in the following days, he learns a few things about them. He learns a lot of things, actually; Sanghyuk is the youngest of them all (so young, so young), full of wit and also Wonsik's neighbor for as far as they both can remember. He learns that Hongbin is the one with the prettiest face, dimples in the corner of his smile, but also the quickest fist. Wonsik is the one with the loud dorky laugh which can turn into a frightening one when pissed. He learns that Taekwoon has a deep warmth concealed behind his cold demeanor and his icy eyes. He learns that Hakyeon is the oldest and the one leading them, as well as probably the most caring and nicest of them all. (if not of all the persons he has ever met in his life.)
He learns that they're not half bad as what they are rumored to be, if not genuinely nice; they do not pick fights out of nowhere, they just respond when provoked. They just spend a bit too much time talking to older thugs, being taken care of yet advantage of at the same time, getting into fights with random drunkards who thought it would be enjoyable to make fun of high schoolers. They just stay a bit too late hanging out on the streets or playing at the pool, and dreading the time they'll have to get back to what they can barely call a home anymore. Dreading the time they'll have to get back to an empty flat or parents who leave more scars on their skin and heart than anything else. They are just a bunch of reckless teenagers who have nothing to rely on besides themselves and ends up making the bad choices.
Somehow, Jaehwan finds himself spending a bit too much time by their side.
►►
At one point, Jaehwan considers joining them as more than just one of their friends, considers taking part of the fights too, for he wants to be entirely part of their group.
“don't” Hakyeon says, with a bitter smile on his lips “you still have a family who cares about you and besides, it's better that way”
►►
Sanghyuk comes back one day with fresh bruises and cuts on his arms, chest and legs. (and literally everywhere) Jaehwan has never seen him look so frail, his back crooked in a saddening way, as if he had suddenly shrunk, this usually tall tall and proud teenager. “Hongbin fucked up, Hongbin fucked up, Hongbin fucked up” is all that ever comes out of his mouth. Even after Hakyeon asks him where Hongbin is and why he is on his own, and ultimately raises his voice, until Taekwoon and Wonsik have to take him away so the leader won't traumatize the boy further. Later, Hakyeon goes back to Sanghyuk to apologize and rocks him in his arms.
Hongbin is delivered to them in the evening, still breathing but covered in wounds, and a wide message written on his chest.
►►
“don't” this time it's Jaehwan's turn to say.
Hakyeon looks up to him with tired yet curious eyes. They're sitting down in front of Hakyeon's door, leaning against the wall of his rooftop flat.
“Don't go. Dont do this” he adds, quietly, with his heart in his throat. He hears the bitter laugh of the leader by his side, clear in the silence of the night. The neighborhood is quiet, it's late, and nobody wants to go out on those streets at this time.
“Don't really have the choice though, do we?” Hakyeon doesn't look at him, but straight to the dark sky above them instead. He laughs but there's no humor in it. “things need to be settled down, and we have nowhere left to run so we can't avoid it either. They'd find us if we didn't go anyway. It's the only way.”
“But you do have the choice” Jaehwan wants, yearns to say. “you're just not making it” but he doesn't say anything. Part of him knows it's not the complete truth either.
“Say Jaehwan-ah” Hakyeon still doesn't turn to look at him, only stare and stare at the dark nothing that is the sky of Seoul and probably the dark nothing that is his future. “would you come with us?”
Jaehwan freezes on the spot, and doesn't say a thing, doesn't dare to move even the slightest. The words are stuck in his throat and his mind is blank. Weeks, months before this he would have loved to join them, he would have been so excited by this proposition, but now... now, he doesn't know.
The throaty chuckle of Hakyeon breaks his train of thoughts. “Awww don't worry Jaehwan-ah, I was only joking, I wouldn't want you to be there anyway.”
and Jaehwan doesn't know which hurts the most, that Hakyeon doesn't consider him enough to be by their side (even if he knows it's to protect him), or the fact that he's too afraid to even agree in the first place. “aigoo our little Jaehwanie” he says as he starts to ruffle his hair. His tone is seemingly light and teasing, but Jaehwan knows better.
After a while, Hakyeon lets go of his hair and turns back to focus on the sky again. His expression goes back to serious.
“I wouldn't want them to be here either. I wanted to go alone, they shouldn't come.” he starts, laughing with the same humorless laugh as before, and it makes Jaehwan's heart ache. “but they won't let me, you know? Those idiots. And they've already seen the message so I guess it's pretty much over already, I can't do anything about it. Even if I should have gone on my own.”
and even then, with Hakyeon staring at the scenery before him and turning his head away from him, Jaehwan understands that it's only half the truth. Because a small part of Hakyeon, as selfish as it is, feels relieved and glad that he's not going alone. Jaehwan doesn't say anything. Instead, he grabs one of Wonsik's cigarettes lying on the ground and lits it.
He hears a small chuckle by his side, as thick white smoke blends with the starless sky of the capital.
►►
He should have known better than to befriend them because he's unable to stop them, although he knows how all of this is going to end. But the thing is, they all know how it's going to end.
And it doesn't make him feel better, no, it only makes it worse.
►►
And that's how he finds himself hiding behind barrels in the place where the little group were asked to go to “settle things down” (but there's no such things as settling things down), and witnesses all of them falling down to the ground. He stays hidden even after it's over, after the gang decides to “take a break” and to come back to clean this mess later, watching through the space between the large barrels.
He watches Hakyeon's smile twisted in the most horrible way, Hongbin's pretty face smashed into the ground with blood, both of Taekwoon's legs broken as well as his neck, Wonsik's spattering throat, and Sanghyuk's chest dripping red like a fountain from the hole on his left side.
►►
Jaehwan learns that there are no sides in death.
They do not die pretty, they do not die with honor or anything of that sort. They just die. Bloody, miserable and wrong.
Jaehwan feels a hole in his chest, and maybe he really wished it was a bullet one.
A/N: Unbetaed; it's really poorly written. I wanted to post it before going so yeah... I'm in a bit of a rush right now ! so it's also poorly corrected and I'm not even native. I'm so sorry, I'm also really cruel. I'm so sorry. I really needed to write something like this it might be a bit too much, but yes.
It's not my fault, it's because I watched ZE:A "All day" and rewatched "Baby I'm Sorry" of MYNAME. And the release of the teasers of Infinite didn't help. Also, Youth from Daughter
VIXX; Jaehwan-centric and all of the others
Genre: angst
Rating: pg-15 ? R for violence?
Warning: Character!Death ; graphic depiction of violence?, blood... Poorly written
Word count: 1428
Lee Jaehwan should have known better than to befriend the bunch of thugs of his high school, for they were meant to end up in a pool of blood at his feet.
►►
Jaehwan has been warned about them by other classmates, has been told to stay away by his parents. But it doesn't matter as the five boys save him from being beaten up by some of the bullies who love to pick on him.
It doesn't matter because Taekwoon is there to stop the blow before it actually takes his breathe away. Wonsik is there to let out an unpleasant chuckle while playing with a stone in his hand, threatening eyes focused on them. Hongbin and Sanghyuk are there to grab the bullies by the collar and make them go away. Hakyeon is the one who shakes Jaehwan's shoulder in a gentle way, and asks “man, are you alright?” with the brightest smile.
It doesn't matter, because in the following days, he learns a few things about them. He learns a lot of things, actually; Sanghyuk is the youngest of them all (so young, so young), full of wit and also Wonsik's neighbor for as far as they both can remember. He learns that Hongbin is the one with the prettiest face, dimples in the corner of his smile, but also the quickest fist. Wonsik is the one with the loud dorky laugh which can turn into a frightening one when pissed. He learns that Taekwoon has a deep warmth concealed behind his cold demeanor and his icy eyes. He learns that Hakyeon is the oldest and the one leading them, as well as probably the most caring and nicest of them all. (if not of all the persons he has ever met in his life.)
He learns that they're not half bad as what they are rumored to be, if not genuinely nice; they do not pick fights out of nowhere, they just respond when provoked. They just spend a bit too much time talking to older thugs, being taken care of yet advantage of at the same time, getting into fights with random drunkards who thought it would be enjoyable to make fun of high schoolers. They just stay a bit too late hanging out on the streets or playing at the pool, and dreading the time they'll have to get back to what they can barely call a home anymore. Dreading the time they'll have to get back to an empty flat or parents who leave more scars on their skin and heart than anything else. They are just a bunch of reckless teenagers who have nothing to rely on besides themselves and ends up making the bad choices.
Somehow, Jaehwan finds himself spending a bit too much time by their side.
►►
At one point, Jaehwan considers joining them as more than just one of their friends, considers taking part of the fights too, for he wants to be entirely part of their group.
“don't” Hakyeon says, with a bitter smile on his lips “you still have a family who cares about you and besides, it's better that way”
►►
Sanghyuk comes back one day with fresh bruises and cuts on his arms, chest and legs. (and literally everywhere) Jaehwan has never seen him look so frail, his back crooked in a saddening way, as if he had suddenly shrunk, this usually tall tall and proud teenager. “Hongbin fucked up, Hongbin fucked up, Hongbin fucked up” is all that ever comes out of his mouth. Even after Hakyeon asks him where Hongbin is and why he is on his own, and ultimately raises his voice, until Taekwoon and Wonsik have to take him away so the leader won't traumatize the boy further. Later, Hakyeon goes back to Sanghyuk to apologize and rocks him in his arms.
Hongbin is delivered to them in the evening, still breathing but covered in wounds, and a wide message written on his chest.
►►
“don't” this time it's Jaehwan's turn to say.
Hakyeon looks up to him with tired yet curious eyes. They're sitting down in front of Hakyeon's door, leaning against the wall of his rooftop flat.
“Don't go. Dont do this” he adds, quietly, with his heart in his throat. He hears the bitter laugh of the leader by his side, clear in the silence of the night. The neighborhood is quiet, it's late, and nobody wants to go out on those streets at this time.
“Don't really have the choice though, do we?” Hakyeon doesn't look at him, but straight to the dark sky above them instead. He laughs but there's no humor in it. “things need to be settled down, and we have nowhere left to run so we can't avoid it either. They'd find us if we didn't go anyway. It's the only way.”
“But you do have the choice” Jaehwan wants, yearns to say. “you're just not making it” but he doesn't say anything. Part of him knows it's not the complete truth either.
“Say Jaehwan-ah” Hakyeon still doesn't turn to look at him, only stare and stare at the dark nothing that is the sky of Seoul and probably the dark nothing that is his future. “would you come with us?”
Jaehwan freezes on the spot, and doesn't say a thing, doesn't dare to move even the slightest. The words are stuck in his throat and his mind is blank. Weeks, months before this he would have loved to join them, he would have been so excited by this proposition, but now... now, he doesn't know.
The throaty chuckle of Hakyeon breaks his train of thoughts. “Awww don't worry Jaehwan-ah, I was only joking, I wouldn't want you to be there anyway.”
and Jaehwan doesn't know which hurts the most, that Hakyeon doesn't consider him enough to be by their side (even if he knows it's to protect him), or the fact that he's too afraid to even agree in the first place. “aigoo our little Jaehwanie” he says as he starts to ruffle his hair. His tone is seemingly light and teasing, but Jaehwan knows better.
After a while, Hakyeon lets go of his hair and turns back to focus on the sky again. His expression goes back to serious.
“I wouldn't want them to be here either. I wanted to go alone, they shouldn't come.” he starts, laughing with the same humorless laugh as before, and it makes Jaehwan's heart ache. “but they won't let me, you know? Those idiots. And they've already seen the message so I guess it's pretty much over already, I can't do anything about it. Even if I should have gone on my own.”
and even then, with Hakyeon staring at the scenery before him and turning his head away from him, Jaehwan understands that it's only half the truth. Because a small part of Hakyeon, as selfish as it is, feels relieved and glad that he's not going alone. Jaehwan doesn't say anything. Instead, he grabs one of Wonsik's cigarettes lying on the ground and lits it.
He hears a small chuckle by his side, as thick white smoke blends with the starless sky of the capital.
►►
He should have known better than to befriend them because he's unable to stop them, although he knows how all of this is going to end. But the thing is, they all know how it's going to end.
And it doesn't make him feel better, no, it only makes it worse.
►►
And that's how he finds himself hiding behind barrels in the place where the little group were asked to go to “settle things down” (but there's no such things as settling things down), and witnesses all of them falling down to the ground. He stays hidden even after it's over, after the gang decides to “take a break” and to come back to clean this mess later, watching through the space between the large barrels.
He watches Hakyeon's smile twisted in the most horrible way, Hongbin's pretty face smashed into the ground with blood, both of Taekwoon's legs broken as well as his neck, Wonsik's spattering throat, and Sanghyuk's chest dripping red like a fountain from the hole on his left side.
►►
Jaehwan learns that there are no sides in death.
They do not die pretty, they do not die with honor or anything of that sort. They just die. Bloody, miserable and wrong.
Jaehwan feels a hole in his chest, and maybe he really wished it was a bullet one.
A/N: Unbetaed; it's really poorly written. I wanted to post it before going so yeah... I'm in a bit of a rush right now ! so it's also poorly corrected and I'm not even native. I'm so sorry, I'm also really cruel. I'm so sorry. I really needed to write something like this it might be a bit too much, but yes.
It's not my fault, it's because I watched ZE:A "All day" and rewatched "Baby I'm Sorry" of MYNAME. And the release of the teasers of Infinite didn't help. Also, Youth from Daughter