part XII
We all piled into Tony’s car, a Saturn model from a couple of years before. I ended up front with Tony, which was probably the best place to be. Had I been stuck in the back seat with either of the girls, it could have meant trouble. As it was, Tony was driving without saying anything, and Mary was hanging over the seat, her head right by mine, and I could smell her bubble gum as she chewed it. “I don’t like riding in the back,” she said. “It makes me sick if I’m too far away from the nose of the car, you know?”
“You should have said something, I’d have traded places,” I replied.
“Everyone’s fine where they are.” Tony’s voice was stern. No arguments. It confirmed for me that I had done the right thing by going shotgun.
We ended up on a road that seemed to be going out of town. Houses disappeared, and we were seeing a lot of empty fields, farmland most likely. After a bit, Tony pulled the car off the pavement and onto a dirt road, going a little ways in to a point where the land sloped off into a sort of miniature ravine. He parked, and we all got out.
I wasn’t sure where we would be finding this Clarence out there in the open like that, but I assumed that they all went out there often because there was a pit for a fire and the charred remains of a bunch of logs. Tony walked over to it and kicked the pile. Ash and dust billowed up in small clouds, but free of any sparks or the orange glow of embers.
I thought maybe I should follow him, since he was the one telling me he knew where Clarence was, but Erica grabbed me by my sleeve. She had scooted herself up onto the hood of the car, and she pulled me closer to it. “The engine is still warm,” she said. “It’ll heat your bum.”
“I don’t need my bum heated,” I protested.
“I wouldn’t imagine. It looks pretty hot as it is.”
“Excuse me?”
Mary hadn’t yet closed her car door. She slammed it hard now, and the car shook. Erica wasn’t fazed by it. I was getting pretty sick of the whole thing, though, and I was about to snap. “Look, if you guys are looking to beat the shit out of each other, leave me out of it.”
Erica decided to assert herself further, and she had both hands on my shoulders now. She was trying to pull me to her. My back was to the car, and if she succeeded in bringing me close, I’d have ended up between her legs. She could then easily leap on me and grab a piggyback ride, and that was not going to happen.
I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Seeing what was going on, Tony charged over to us. He looked like the minotaur from some bad stop-motion movie. His movements were all jerky and his arms were bent at right angles. I felt Erica’s arms slide over my shoulders and she tried to hook them around my chest, but then Tony’s hands were on my collar and he yanked me away from her. He tossed me to the side, and I slammed into Mary, who was too small to withstand me. She ended up on her knees in the dirt. “Hey!” she moaned.
I righted myself, planted my feet firmly on the ground. I held out both arms, one in each direction, palms up. “Whoa!” I said. “Everyone just stop!”
Tony wasn’t going to listen to me. “Who do you think you are?” he shouted, little flecks of spittle spraying from his mouth. “You think Portland is such a big deal? You know what we think about Oregon around here?”
“No, and I couldn’t care less, either.”
“Maybe you should just shut up.”
“Maybe you should tell me what the fuck is going on with my money. Why did you drag me out here? There’s no one around.”
Hoping to defuse the situation, I turned around and helped Mary up. “Thanks,” she said weakly.
“Oh, don’t play the victim,” Erica said sarcastically, and then she exhaled heavily, like she had seen this act a million times before.
“Leave my sister alone,” Tony shot back at her. “This isn’t about her.”
Erica jumped down off the car and shoved him in the chest. “Then what is it about?” She shoved him again. “Huh?”
Tony stumbled back from her thrusts. His face turned red, and as soon as she stopped, he retook his steps and grabbed her by the elbow. He wrenched her back over toward the fire pit. “This is your fault,” he hissed. “You see a guitar and you can’t get your panties off fast enough.”
“Shows what you know, asshole. What makes you think I’m even wearing any?”
“God! Is there anything you’d be ashamed to admit?”
“Sure. That I date you!”
With that, Erica wrested her arm out of Tony’s grip. She stormed off down the ravine and out of sight, and he immediately went after her.
“Oh, boy, here we go,” Mary said, now lifting herself up onto the hood of the car.
I looked at her. “What? Do they do this often?”
“Every few weeks, usually when some band or other is in town.”
I guess I had pegged the wrong girl for the groupie role.
“She gets bored with the fact that Tony is always bored,” Mary continued, “and so she likes to get him riled up. He falls for it every time.”
“So her whole act with me tonight was bullshit?”
“Uh-huh. Flattering, isn’t it?”
Whistling through my teeth, I leaned back on the car. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said. “Now how the hell am I going to get my cash?”
“Oh, quit your bellyachin’ about the money.” Mary reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of crumpled bills. “Here.”
I stared at the paper in her hand like I’d never seen currency of its kind before. It seemed beamed in from some country so new it wasn’t yet on any map, one of those little European fiefdoms carved out of some larger nation that had fallen on hard times. “Is that mine? Did you have it all along?”
“Yeah.”
“Why the hell didn’t you just give it to me?” I said, snatching it out of her hand.
“Tony told me not to. I think he kind of likes this little game, too.”
I shoved the money in my pocket. “Son of a bitch....”
(read The Everlasting)
“You should have said something, I’d have traded places,” I replied.
“Everyone’s fine where they are.” Tony’s voice was stern. No arguments. It confirmed for me that I had done the right thing by going shotgun.
We ended up on a road that seemed to be going out of town. Houses disappeared, and we were seeing a lot of empty fields, farmland most likely. After a bit, Tony pulled the car off the pavement and onto a dirt road, going a little ways in to a point where the land sloped off into a sort of miniature ravine. He parked, and we all got out.
I wasn’t sure where we would be finding this Clarence out there in the open like that, but I assumed that they all went out there often because there was a pit for a fire and the charred remains of a bunch of logs. Tony walked over to it and kicked the pile. Ash and dust billowed up in small clouds, but free of any sparks or the orange glow of embers.
I thought maybe I should follow him, since he was the one telling me he knew where Clarence was, but Erica grabbed me by my sleeve. She had scooted herself up onto the hood of the car, and she pulled me closer to it. “The engine is still warm,” she said. “It’ll heat your bum.”
“I don’t need my bum heated,” I protested.
“I wouldn’t imagine. It looks pretty hot as it is.”
“Excuse me?”
Mary hadn’t yet closed her car door. She slammed it hard now, and the car shook. Erica wasn’t fazed by it. I was getting pretty sick of the whole thing, though, and I was about to snap. “Look, if you guys are looking to beat the shit out of each other, leave me out of it.”
Erica decided to assert herself further, and she had both hands on my shoulders now. She was trying to pull me to her. My back was to the car, and if she succeeded in bringing me close, I’d have ended up between her legs. She could then easily leap on me and grab a piggyback ride, and that was not going to happen.
I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Seeing what was going on, Tony charged over to us. He looked like the minotaur from some bad stop-motion movie. His movements were all jerky and his arms were bent at right angles. I felt Erica’s arms slide over my shoulders and she tried to hook them around my chest, but then Tony’s hands were on my collar and he yanked me away from her. He tossed me to the side, and I slammed into Mary, who was too small to withstand me. She ended up on her knees in the dirt. “Hey!” she moaned.
I righted myself, planted my feet firmly on the ground. I held out both arms, one in each direction, palms up. “Whoa!” I said. “Everyone just stop!”
Tony wasn’t going to listen to me. “Who do you think you are?” he shouted, little flecks of spittle spraying from his mouth. “You think Portland is such a big deal? You know what we think about Oregon around here?”
“No, and I couldn’t care less, either.”
“Maybe you should just shut up.”
“Maybe you should tell me what the fuck is going on with my money. Why did you drag me out here? There’s no one around.”
Hoping to defuse the situation, I turned around and helped Mary up. “Thanks,” she said weakly.
“Oh, don’t play the victim,” Erica said sarcastically, and then she exhaled heavily, like she had seen this act a million times before.
“Leave my sister alone,” Tony shot back at her. “This isn’t about her.”
Erica jumped down off the car and shoved him in the chest. “Then what is it about?” She shoved him again. “Huh?”
Tony stumbled back from her thrusts. His face turned red, and as soon as she stopped, he retook his steps and grabbed her by the elbow. He wrenched her back over toward the fire pit. “This is your fault,” he hissed. “You see a guitar and you can’t get your panties off fast enough.”
“Shows what you know, asshole. What makes you think I’m even wearing any?”
“God! Is there anything you’d be ashamed to admit?”
“Sure. That I date you!”
With that, Erica wrested her arm out of Tony’s grip. She stormed off down the ravine and out of sight, and he immediately went after her.
“Oh, boy, here we go,” Mary said, now lifting herself up onto the hood of the car.
I looked at her. “What? Do they do this often?”
“Every few weeks, usually when some band or other is in town.”
I guess I had pegged the wrong girl for the groupie role.
“She gets bored with the fact that Tony is always bored,” Mary continued, “and so she likes to get him riled up. He falls for it every time.”
“So her whole act with me tonight was bullshit?”
“Uh-huh. Flattering, isn’t it?”
Whistling through my teeth, I leaned back on the car. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said. “Now how the hell am I going to get my cash?”
“Oh, quit your bellyachin’ about the money.” Mary reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of crumpled bills. “Here.”
I stared at the paper in her hand like I’d never seen currency of its kind before. It seemed beamed in from some country so new it wasn’t yet on any map, one of those little European fiefdoms carved out of some larger nation that had fallen on hard times. “Is that mine? Did you have it all along?”
“Yeah.”
“Why the hell didn’t you just give it to me?” I said, snatching it out of her hand.
“Tony told me not to. I think he kind of likes this little game, too.”
I shoved the money in my pocket. “Son of a bitch....”
(read The Everlasting)