Forever

Jun 24, 2009 15:02

Pairing: John/Elizabeth, with a tiny tiny bit of Rodney/Jennifer
Notes:  drama, angst, romance
Rating: PG
Summary: As the universe tears itself apart around their heads, John and Elizabeth finally have an important conversation.

---

‘...the universe has a strange way of always correcting itself...’

o8o

“There’s nothing we can do,” said Rodney, fear layering his voice as he looked at them, helplessness in his eyes. John glanced away from him and looked out the control room windows at the scene unfolding outside. The sky had begun to glow with a warm orange light that was streaked through with touches of green and electric blue. The wavering light had turned the ocean an odd brown color, the peaks of the waves reflecting the amber glow as the surf grew increasingly rough. High above them hung the source of all the madness. The rift, a jagged tear in the orange sky that gave off a faint crackling sound  as it began to tear the universe apart.

John heard Rodney’s voice behind him. “There’s nothing we can do,” he repeated in a dazed voice. “Nothing I can do.”

“Are you sure?” John questioned, turning back to the scientist.

“Yes!” Rodney cried desperately. “Yes I’m sure! I’ve tried everything, looked through everything, done everything I possibly can! This thing is shredding the universe like tissue paper, and not just ours either.”

A female voice cut in. “What do you mean, not just ours?” demanded Elizabeth.

“I mean, it’s affecting every universe! Right now, every single alternate reality there is is experiencing the same thing we are.” He paused. “And they’re just as helpless as us.”

John swallowed deeply and gazed unseeingly at the back of the control console in front of him. He couldn’t stand not being able to do anything. He was a man of action. There was always something that could be done, always had been. Except for now. “When?” he choked out.

“I don’t know for sure,” said Rodney quietly, “but soon.”

John nodded and locked eyes with his friend, who nodded in return. They each understood what the other meant. “Nice knowing you.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Rodney turned to Elizabeth, standing next to John. “Elizabeth,” he said, holding out a hand. She smiled sadly at him and reached out to shake the offered hand. “Rodney.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. The physicist forced out a small smile at the two of them. “Well, I guess I’d better...” He nodded again and walked away, stopping to shake hands with Zelenka before going down the steps to find Jennifer among the gathered population of the city.

John walked to the balcony doors, opened them, and stepped outside into the tangerine colored air. He moved to the railing and looked up at the pulsing rip in the fabric of the world. It shone with a nearly blinding whiteness at its center, a thousand different colors radiating from it along the edges, slicing the sky into ribbons.

He felt Elizabeth come to stand beside him and he turned to look at her. She was looking up as he had, and he saw the rift reflected in her green eyes. He was overcome with a rushing sense of grief. It seemed like they had just got her back. They had rescued her from the Replicators only a month ago, and now they were going to lose her again. He was going to lose her again. And this time there would be no getting her back. “Elizabeth,” he said softly.

The word echoed up, into the rift, and mingled into the crush of a thousand different realities all coming apart at once.

o8o

In the middle of a forest, a slightly older John looked at the woman standing next to him, staring up at the rent in the sky through the gaps in the trees. He gently called her name. “Elizabeth.”

o8o

On a balcony overlooking the city of Atlantis, Major Sheppard turned to his Elizabeth and said her name, a realization forming in the back of his mind as together they watched the universe collapse.

o8o

She turned to look at him and he saw his own regret mirrored in her eyes. “Yes, John?” she said, her voice carefully composed. He could hardly stand to look at her, knowing that soon it would all be over and he would never see her again. And yet he never wanted to stop looking. “I... I’m sorry.”

“So am I,” she said, her voice losing its calm tone and becoming thick with emotion. “So am I.”

o8o

On Earth, standing outside the entrance to the Cheyenne Mountain complex, Elizabeth looked mournfully at the military officer standing next to her. They hadn’t known each other that long, but in that time they had connected in a way she had never felt before. Their eyes met, and she suddenly felt the need to apologize. She reached out and took John’s hand. Above them the sky glowed orange.

o8o

Sitting by his bed in the infirmary, Dr. Weir shook herself out of her stupor of hopelessness and turned her gaze away from the window, looking instead at the face of the man lying unconscious in the bed in front of her. Tears beginning to fall from her eyes, she gently brushed back the mop of unruly black hair that stuck out all over his head. She lifted his hand from the orange-tinted sheets where it rested and wrapped it in her own, pressed his palm against her tear soaked face, and silently begged him to wake up before it was all too late.

o8o

She slowly reached out and took his hand, her eyes never leaving his face. Without looking, he quickly shifted his grip, lacing their fingers together in a hold so tight it nearly hurt. She didn’t pay any attention. As she looked into his eyes, a hundred different things sprang to mind. A hundred different regrets, a hundred different moments when she’d looked at him and caught him looking back, a hundred different words that had been left unsaid between the two of them. And now they were almost out of time, and the thought caused her pain so deep it was almost physical.

John saw the flash of anguish in her eyes and felt an identical burst of misery erupt within him. His thoughts raged inside him, lightning fast bursts of desperation at the unfairness of it all. No! Not now. He couldn’t lose her now, not when... not when he... not when he had just realized... Impossibly, he fixed his gaze even more intently into the clear emerald depths of her eyes, his chest heaving slightly with emotion. They both opened their mouths to speak at the same time, voices breaking slightly, “I...”

“...I love you.”

o8o

“I love you,” said the older John, the words filling the silence of the forest.

o8o

“I love you,” Major Sheppard admitted, gripping her hand even tighter as he said it.

o8o

Outside of the stargate complex, Elizabeth turned to John. “I love you,” she said, the revelation surprising her.

o8o

“I love you,” whispered Dr. Weir, her voice choked with tears. She buried her face in the sheets of the infirmary bed, still clutching his hand as if the force of her hold would transmit the words to his unconscious brain. “I love you.”

o8o

Those three words echoed through every universe simultaneously. Where they were together, a million different John Sheppards and a million different Elizabeth Weirs looked at each other and realized the same thing. For some, it had just come upon them in a moment, others had known it for a long time but never said anything, and still some had acted on their feelings a long time ago. But, regardless of when they recognized it, each one of them was overcome with a deep and profound sense of rightness at that moment. Of perfection. As if the scattered pieces of a jigsaw puzzle had suddenly come together in one colossal movement and made everything whole with the utterance of that simple phrase. They belonged together.

In the realities where they had never met, they each suddenly felt an inexplicable pang, their hearts yearning after something they didn’t even know existed. In those where one of them had been lost, the ones left alone wept with grief for what no longer existed, and joy that they had had the good fortune to experience that depth of love at all. And, in some, two strangers met each other’s eyes and were immediately aware of a sudden and unaccountable connection.

o8o

John stepped even closer, bringing up their clasped hands between them, until there was hardly any space. He brought up his free hand and cradled the side of her face, brushing a brown curl behind her ear. There were tears in her eyes, and he could feel his throat catching. It had finally been said. They had waited until the entire cosmos was ripping apart above their heads, but they had finally said it. “I love you,” he repeated, his voice thick with tears.

She nodded, barely able to speak herself. “I know,” she sobbed, half laughing. He gave a small watery grin, bent, and caught her lips with his in a kiss that conveyed every emotion they were no longer capable of admitting out loud. The desperation, and sense of time slipping away from them in ever quickening streams. The regret at waiting this long, and the sorrow for all the kisses they would never get to share. And yet running underneath it all was the pure elation at finally, finally getting to show what they felt for each other, and the bliss caused by simply knowing that they were loved by another person.

They broke apart for air, their faces separated by only a fraction of an inch, and Elizabeth suddenly became aware of a strange feeling of oneness with the universe. In that one moment, she somehow felt a connection to all the other realities that were suffering the same fate as theirs. She saw hovering before her eyes a million different versions of her city. Saw all the alternate versions of herself and John, standing together in the face of the end of all that they knew. Heard the echo of the words that they had spoken. She felt the strength of their love for one another, it’s rightness confirmed by the infinite versions of themselves reflected back at her. Wherever it had been possible, they had found each other. Her heart ached for the alternates in the realities where they had never met, knowing now as she did what they were missing.

She watched the other couples embrace, and mentally smiled to herself as she saw one version of herself nearly collapse with relief and throw her arms around her John as he regained consciousness in the infirmary. Just in time to say goodbye.

The visions faded from view and once again all she could see was John’s face before her. Right now that was all she wanted to see. Her eyes raked over his face, taking in his hazel eyes and wild black hair, trying to drink in as much of the well loved features as possible.

Above them the crackling of the rift suddenly grew louder, and the orange sky glowed even brighter. The streaks of blue and green multiplied until the whole expanse of heaven seemed to pulse with the unearthly light. It was starting.

“No,” they pleaded, panic threading its way through their voices. “Not yet.” He ran his thumb along her cheekbone, wiping away the tears that still lingered there. The crackle turned into a roar. He bent to kiss her again, softly and tenderly at first, saying goodbye, but it soon intensified into something much more passionate, full of urgency and longing. Tears again ran down Elizabeth’s face as she ran her fingers through the spikes of his hair, something she had wanted to do for a very long time.

The kiss ended and they separated one last time. They wrapped their arms around each other tightly, as if hoping that the strength of their embrace would hold back the inevitable. She hid her face in his shoulder and felt him press his lips into her hair, softly kissing the brown curls. “Goodbye, Elizabeth,” he murmured.

“Goodbye, John.”

The brightness of the orange light coming from the rift increased until it was blinding, and the roar drowned out any other noise. It pounded into her consciousness repeatedly, hammering away at her sanity until it was nearly unbearable. Just as she became certain that the moment had finally arrived, there was an explosion of light and sound and the previous sense of awareness returned. Only this time, instead of seeing each individual reality separately, for a single transcendent instant, they all coalesced into one. All the differences between the universes: age, rank, the length of their hair, their location... they all melted away, leaving only two people enfolded in each other’s arms. Just them. The only two souls that existed at that moment, fate having decided, in one rare unanimous choice, that they were destined to be together. Through all the reaches of the universe.

There was a burning blaze of white, one last crash, and then it was over.

John tensed, screwing his eyes shut, and waited for oblivion to swallow him and blackness to reign. Minutes ticked by. It never did.

A soft breeze began to blow in his face, refreshingly cool. He could feel Elizabeth in his arms- she fit there perfectly- the scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils as he kept his face buried in her hair. He still existed. Why?

Elizabeth began to stir and he opened his eyes. The orange tint was fading from the atmosphere, the sky resuming its normal shade of bright turquoise, and the waves that had been crashing far below them were calming down to their usual steady pace.

She lifted her head from his shoulder, looking around in confusion, obviously wondering the same thing he was. “Why aren’t we dead?” she asked, her voice slightly rough from the tears shed minutes before.

“I don’t know,” he said in bewilderment. He glanced upwards. “Look.”

Where the rift had once torn a tattered hole in the sky, it was smoothed away as if it had never been. “How is that possible?” she gaped, turning her head to look at him questioningly.

“I don’t know,” he repeated. “I can’t even think straight right now.” He gazed at her amazedly. “Did you feel that? That joining together? That had to be one of the weirdest things I’ve ever been through.”

She nodded, giving a slight smile. “I still feel kind of heady. That was...” She trailed off, unable to find words to describe what had just taken place.

He smiled too. “Yeah,” he said, reaching up to run his fingers through her hair. “That pretty much says it all.”

“You don’t think...” she began, glancing up at the sky and then back at him. “You don’t think it was...”

“Us?” He seemed to consider the idea for a minute and then shook his head. “Nah... couldn’t be.” He smiled at her and was overcome with a sudden urge to kiss her again, feeling a flash of amazement as he remembered he was allowed to do that now. He smiled again and moved his head closer. A half an inch separated them when the balcony door hissed open. They paused, hesitant now that they were no longer alone. Then their eyes met. They shared a grin and preceded to ignore whoever it was.

Rodney McKay and Jennifer Keller stepped out onto the balcony hand in hand and stared at the sky, completely stunned. “It’s a miracle...” he muttered, the shock of still existing knocking away all his scientific skepticism. “That’s not possible...” He walked past where John and Elizabeth stood kissing each other and to the railing, giving no indication that he seen them. Then he did a double take, stopped dead and slowly pivoted around. “Huh!” he said in disbelief. The direct address made Atlantis’s leaders break apart and look in the newcomers’ direction. “Huh!” he reiterated, Jennifer smiling at them knowingly from his side. He looked at them for a moment, and then the surprise faded from his face. “You know,” he said slowly, “I always figured you two would eventually end up together.”

They glanced at each other in astonishment at his perceptiveness. Rodney- the arrogant, ill-tempered, often oblivious Rodney- had seen and guessed how they felt long before they had even realized it themselves. They turned to look at each other, linking hands and smiling. “Eventually, huh?” said John with a grin.

“Yeah. The way you two were always looking at each other? I would have thought it would have happened before now. It was kind of annoying actually. Always felt like I was interrupting something.”

They laughed and then all moved over to the balcony railing, reveling in the simple joyous fact of being alive. The ocean breeze blew their hair, bringing with it a freshness and newness that swept through them all. John and Elizabeth gazed at each other, beaming. He lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers, looking at her with unrestrained happiness in his eyes. Whether or not they were the cause of the sudden healing of the universe they didn’t know. And it didn’t matter. They were together. Finally, eventually, always. Forever.

sparky, fic, forever

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