Ambition is my biggest problem

[lantry]

All the things I want to do are getting in each other's way. I have too many interests, and all of them are important to me in the extreme. Each one is a very important part of my self image. And before all of them, I have to put my home and my family. I just don't have enough back burners. And I don't really feel like anyone else is

Comments

[tlhinganhom]

I feel like it isn't even worth pursuing any of it, because in the end, no one will appreciate what I've done except me.

What's wrong with doing something just for yourself to appreciate? Especially if it helps keep you you? That sounds like a damn fine reason to do most things.

I wonder if some kind of clear organizational system for your free time might help you feel less overwhelmed with the muddled task of trying to preserve your sense of self?

If you'd like to talk, I want you to know I'm available as a sounding wall who occasionally has opinions too. ;-) Online or even on the phone, if you want. Telekinetic hugs!

[lantry]

I am actually the king of organized structure. The problem is that all my organization has to stand up to the test of a spouse who has her own ideas on organization (which is a source of conflict), and two children of differing ages and needs which is a fact that eliminates all hopes of a consistent organization. Before I had kids, I ran my schedule pretty well most of the time, and when I was single, I ran myself like a machine. I think back to when I had a rich and full schedule and wonder at how I did it, and then I look at how many obligations I had to family; largely, I had to watch my sister sometimes.

I realize that I should not expect to be able to do all the things I used to, but it would be nice to do some or even one of them on a regular basis. But there is no regular basis except for my kids and my bills and my work. And even those lack the regularity I would like them to have.

I will likely take you up on talking to you some time however, if I have time to talk to people.

[lantry]

I appreciate that thought

[nerdwerds]

You remind me of this bit.

This time of year is stressful for everyone, you need to do what's right for you. And keep your chin up.

[lantry]

Can't watch the bit, as I'm at work, and certain features of the internet are locked down a bit. But I will try to find time latter.

Honestly, it has little to do with the time of year. I am a little worried about getting my tires replaced before we crash and die in the snow due to exploding tires. But otherwise, I'm not really a holiday affected person that way.

I appreciate the gesture however. I mean to e-mail you later, but I meant to earlier still, so I hope I find the time. Anyway.