Respect/Disrespect
(in this entry, im using the term "top" as a blanket term for the top/Domme/Master...bottom referes to bottom/sub/slave)
How to Respect Your Top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anticipate their needs. This means not only knowing what to do, but when to do it, and how to do it before you are asked, or in some cases, TOLD.
KNOW their needs. Some bottoms have a top who might not reveal much, but when they reveal parts of themselves, pay attention. A good top will let you know what you need to know about them, and anything you intuitively know is a bonus.
Do what they tell you. Sounds simple, right? It's not. In order to do this, you need to listen to the exact words they are saying, and not to think so hard about it. Do exactly what they say. Of course, with reason, and within the boundries of your relationship.
Take care of yourself. Respect yourself. How can you expect your Top to want to take care of you, or respect you, if you can't do that for yourself.
Be serious about your role as a bottom, whatever that means in your particular situation. Know what is expected of you, and if you are ready for it. If you are not, there is no shame in admitting it. A top would rather have you say you aren't ready than have you try it and not be prepared.
Know your role.
If you are a 24/7 kind of sub/bottom, and will be out in public, act the way you know you should. We all know, as individuals, what is expected of us. In public, this is even more important. Don't make an ass of yourself. If you're expected to walk behind, do it. If you're to pull out chairs, do it.
Do little things. There are no rules that say you can't be romatic, or do nice things for your top.
If you are getting something for yourself, going to the store, making something to eat, always ask if they want some too, even if you know they don't. It's a matter of respect.
Make your needs known clearly. Just because they are a top, doesn't mean they are a mind reader, and just because you are a bottom doesn't mean you don't have rights.
Be honest, to both your top, and yourself.
Make the most of your life outside of the BDSM world, too. Your top wants you to be happy, and this means in everyday life, too.
Take care of your health.
Speak respectfully at ALL times.
Listen, don't just wait your turn to talk.
Don't be needy. Everyone needs their space. Even a top doesn't want a servent all the time. Being a bottom sometimes means knowing when to step back.
Do things without being asked, like housework, baking, wearing a top's favorite outfit. This also falls under anticapating their needs.
Don'r be a doormat. Take's a backbone and strength to be a good bottom
Even when your top is not around, if there is something you've been told to do, do it. You're only hurting yourself and your relationship if you don't.
Same thing if there are things you are not supposed to do. DON'T DO THEM. She may not know, but you do, and you're being way disrespectful. It's like lying.
How to Disrespect Your Top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not following orders. Unless your top is into bratty subs, which some are, they will not like this.
Be a smart ass. This will piss them off to no end.
Inturrupt them.
Don't do what you're told.
Lie.
TEll them what to do from the bottom.
Struggle when they tell you to stay still.
Don't take your role, whatever it is, seriously.
Be snotty to your top.
Be bossy.
Don't tell them what you want, and don't stand up for yourself.
Have low self esteem
Take care of just yourself
Don't take care of your body.
Talk bad about their friends and family.
COMPLAIN
Be obnocious.
Put yourself first.
Talk constantly.
Whine
Tell them to be more of a top.
Don't follow through with things you start
Put off stuff.
Complain about something and then don't do anything about it.
Be needy and clingly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \
How I Res[ect You
Walk behind you unless you ask me not to.
Order for you if we're out and can beat you to it.
Sit by your feet.
Kiss you goodnight and tuck you in.
Ask if you need anything when I go to the store.
Tell you when I need something (very very recent)
Do little things around the house I know you want done.
Wear things I know you like.
Bring you things when I know you've had a bad day.
Changing things about myself that I don't like.
Asking for help *NEW THING FOR ME*
Not talk so much
Not being so negative all the time.
Let you know how attractive you are to me.
Take care of myself and my body, because it's yours.
Look deep inside myself and know myself better, so I can be a better sub, and a better person.
Following directions without questions
Trusting you
Knowing what you like and dislike
Remembering things you tell me.
Knowing that everything you ask me to do, or make me do, is for my own good, and that you never do anything just to be mean.
I'm yours, and I remember that in everything I do, whether your around or not.
Doing things right when im told.
Listening to you when you need to talk.
Telling you when you ask me to tell you whats wrong
being honest with you even when it hurts.
telling you something is wrong right when it is.
not taking things so personally
giving you space
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How I Disrespect You
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talk too much.
Complain
Don't do what you tell me to do.
Sass back...act like a smart ass.
Interrupt you when you talk
Struggle in a scene when you ask me to be still
Question you when you give me an assignment or order
ACt like a know it all, argue stupid points.
Not telling you when something is wrong, then bringing it up later (we're working on this)
Talk about sex I've had with other people too much.
Talk about other women too much.
Sulk
be negative
complain and not try to fix the problem
say im gonna do something and not do it
not following through.
wow that was hard.
How to Respect Your Top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anticipate their needs. This means not only knowing what to do, but when to do it, and how to do it before you are asked, or in some cases, TOLD.
KNOW their needs. Some bottoms have a top who might not reveal much, but when they reveal parts of themselves, pay attention. A good top will let you know what you need to know about them, and anything you intuitively know is a bonus.
Do what they tell you. Sounds simple, right? It's not. In order to do this, you need to listen to the exact words they are saying, and not to think so hard about it. Do exactly what they say. Of course, with reason, and within the boundries of your relationship.
Take care of yourself. Respect yourself. How can you expect your Top to want to take care of you, or respect you, if you can't do that for yourself.
Be serious about your role as a bottom, whatever that means in your particular situation. Know what is expected of you, and if you are ready for it. If you are not, there is no shame in admitting it. A top would rather have you say you aren't ready than have you try it and not be prepared.
Know your role.
If you are a 24/7 kind of sub/bottom, and will be out in public, act the way you know you should. We all know, as individuals, what is expected of us. In public, this is even more important. Don't make an ass of yourself. If you're expected to walk behind, do it. If you're to pull out chairs, do it.
Do little things. There are no rules that say you can't be romatic, or do nice things for your top.
If you are getting something for yourself, going to the store, making something to eat, always ask if they want some too, even if you know they don't. It's a matter of respect.
Make your needs known clearly. Just because they are a top, doesn't mean they are a mind reader, and just because you are a bottom doesn't mean you don't have rights.
Be honest, to both your top, and yourself.
Make the most of your life outside of the BDSM world, too. Your top wants you to be happy, and this means in everyday life, too.
Take care of your health.
Speak respectfully at ALL times.
Listen, don't just wait your turn to talk.
Don't be needy. Everyone needs their space. Even a top doesn't want a servent all the time. Being a bottom sometimes means knowing when to step back.
Do things without being asked, like housework, baking, wearing a top's favorite outfit. This also falls under anticapating their needs.
Don'r be a doormat. Take's a backbone and strength to be a good bottom
Even when your top is not around, if there is something you've been told to do, do it. You're only hurting yourself and your relationship if you don't.
Same thing if there are things you are not supposed to do. DON'T DO THEM. She may not know, but you do, and you're being way disrespectful. It's like lying.
How to Disrespect Your Top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not following orders. Unless your top is into bratty subs, which some are, they will not like this.
Be a smart ass. This will piss them off to no end.
Inturrupt them.
Don't do what you're told.
Lie.
TEll them what to do from the bottom.
Struggle when they tell you to stay still.
Don't take your role, whatever it is, seriously.
Be snotty to your top.
Be bossy.
Don't tell them what you want, and don't stand up for yourself.
Have low self esteem
Take care of just yourself
Don't take care of your body.
Talk bad about their friends and family.
COMPLAIN
Be obnocious.
Put yourself first.
Talk constantly.
Whine
Tell them to be more of a top.
Don't follow through with things you start
Put off stuff.
Complain about something and then don't do anything about it.
Be needy and clingly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \
How I Res[ect You
Walk behind you unless you ask me not to.
Order for you if we're out and can beat you to it.
Sit by your feet.
Kiss you goodnight and tuck you in.
Ask if you need anything when I go to the store.
Tell you when I need something (very very recent)
Do little things around the house I know you want done.
Wear things I know you like.
Bring you things when I know you've had a bad day.
Changing things about myself that I don't like.
Asking for help *NEW THING FOR ME*
Not talk so much
Not being so negative all the time.
Let you know how attractive you are to me.
Take care of myself and my body, because it's yours.
Look deep inside myself and know myself better, so I can be a better sub, and a better person.
Following directions without questions
Trusting you
Knowing what you like and dislike
Remembering things you tell me.
Knowing that everything you ask me to do, or make me do, is for my own good, and that you never do anything just to be mean.
I'm yours, and I remember that in everything I do, whether your around or not.
Doing things right when im told.
Listening to you when you need to talk.
Telling you when you ask me to tell you whats wrong
being honest with you even when it hurts.
telling you something is wrong right when it is.
not taking things so personally
giving you space
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How I Disrespect You
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talk too much.
Complain
Don't do what you tell me to do.
Sass back...act like a smart ass.
Interrupt you when you talk
Struggle in a scene when you ask me to be still
Question you when you give me an assignment or order
ACt like a know it all, argue stupid points.
Not telling you when something is wrong, then bringing it up later (we're working on this)
Talk about sex I've had with other people too much.
Talk about other women too much.
Sulk
be negative
complain and not try to fix the problem
say im gonna do something and not do it
not following through.
wow that was hard.