Skeletons in the Closet- Chapter Fourteen
Skeletons in the Closet
Chapter Fourteen
By: Lazuli
Pg/Pg-13
Standard Disclaimer Applies. Don't own Naruto.
Sasuke stared at Tsunade for a moment, then back at Naruto, a perplexed expression on his face. "Do you mean today?" He asked. "Naruto said that he cleared everything with you…" He let his voice trail off in obvious inquiry, not getting what they were talking about. He remembered clearly about his 'indefinite stay' at his family's estate. They couldn't be talking about giving any more time… could they?
Tsunade's expression didn’t change at all as she watched the different emotions cross Sasuke's face, as he processed the meaning of her words. "Uchiha?" She asked calmly. "According to Naruto's report, you have been behaving well with no attempts of escape or trying to harm your ….guard." Her words were tactful and she raised an eyebrow. "Haruno Sakura reports that your medical condition has steadily improved since you were first brought back to Konoha, and with the addition of the new seal over the curse seal, it seems that you may make a full recovery."
Sasuke gave her a mild look at that, nodding. He knew that Naruto's reports about him were bound to be full of 'good behavior' remarks-he wasn't about to try and kill his only friend again, and he'd felt himself recovering. The fact that was able to walk around town and interact with people without passing out was proof of that. Nothing Tsunade said was new. "What does this have to do with my parole?"
She smirked at him. "Patience." She said calmly, propping on her chin on one hand. "Because of your previous record with Konohagakure and on the strong recommendation on the future Hokage-it has been suggested and reviewed that you will be pardoned within a year, provided that this 'good behavior' of yours continues."
Sasuke snorted lightly at the way she phrased the statement-as if he were an unruly child rather than a dangerous rogue shinobi. "I think that I can manage not to roast the building around me." He said dryly. "Am I still forbidden to use my chakra?" He had to know-even if he didn't want to use it again for fear of activating the curse seal, he wanted to know if he could put a legitimate order against using it-it would make something in him feel better, instead of thinking that he was just a coward for not taking the chance.
Naruto and Tsunade both nodded at that, and Naruto explained. "It's because it's still too uncertain with the curse seal." His voice was soft and carefully controlled. "Even with the extra seal I put on top of it, we simply can't risk it activating and…" He shrugged as he offered a sheepish smile. "I guess people are scared that if it activates, you'll turn against us again-"
Sasuke nodded slowly, accepting the explanation that was offered. It was feasible enough to set his own doubts to rest-who's to say that it wasn't the real explanation? Maybe that was what he felt-he was scared that the power would overtake him like it had before. He couldn't stand the memory of that slow tugging on his thoughts, turning his doubts and goals darker, turning him against those that cared for him-especially Naruto.
"Even with Orochimaru dead?" He asked dryly. The curse seal shouldn’t affect him any more with the person that caused it dead-but look at Naruto. He had the kyuubi sealed inside of him, and the one that created the seal died in the making of it. His could still linger as well, but without the malignant origins behind it…
"Even with him gone." Tsunade said firmly. "People look at it as you leaving, not anything forcing you to do so. If it makes you feel any better, we still keep a close eye on Anko as well-because she once trained under Orochimaru and has a curse seal as well." Her looked was faintly apologetic. "It just has to be this way for a little while longer, Sasuke. Think of it as a way to strengthen your skills in other areas besides genjutsu or ninjutsu." That made sense and Sasuke accepted it. He could all to easily see what could happen if he used his chakra…
To die because of the curse seal, to have it drain away it's life force because that was what it was supposed to do… to be alone, to not be able to get back to Naruto, to know that he died because it was his fault, because he gave up too soon…that he left Naruto alone-that he broke his promise and burdened Naruto with something that he never should have had, to be always alone, no one knowing he was there… that it was his fault, his fault, ALWAYS his fault because he never said anything when he should have…
He must have spaced out for a moment, because Naruto was suddenly standing in front of him, eyes wide with worry and hands tight on his shoulders. "Sasuke!" His voice was urgent, too. "Sasuke… are you okay?" He tossed Tsunade a worried look, but she just shook her head. Sasuke was still feeling a little dazed, but managed to push Naruto's hands away from him.
Just when he was reassured over his health, he spaced out right in front of Tsunade. He hoped that it wouldn't set his pending release back any-not just because he wanted to be in Konoha again, but because it would disappoint Naruto. I'm getting soft. He thought in disgust. To let myself get so worked up about what Naruto thinks.
"I'm fine." He said shortly. "I'm not allowed to be lost in my own thoughts?" He asked. He wasn't sure how long he'd be 'out', but was willing to take the chance. Tsunade didn't look seriously alarmed, so he guessed that it hadn't been that bad. "I'm not like you, dobe. I have more thoughts in my head to sort through."
Naruto bristled at that, but Sasuke could read the relief in his eyes that Sasuke was acting like normal, that he wasn't mumbling about Naruto being dead or how the estate was no longer part of Konoha. Sasuke could still vividly recall those dreams, at his worst moments they seemed more real than his life now, but he no longer dreamt of those possibilities. "Idiot." Naruto finally muttered. "Worrying me like that…"
Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Well, that's pretty much it." She said. "Besides my examination of Sasuke." She gestured to a side door. "Naruto will be there the entire time, because he has to be present to see his work on his seal." She raised an eyebrow. "That a problem for you?" She questioned. It didn't look like he really had a choice, but he nodded anyways. Formality was a common thing when dealing with the Hokage. Naruto looked solemn again, and the three of them went to Tsunade's private examination room.
He didn't like showing the curse seal to anyone-he hated the fact that it still existed and Tsunade's probing fingers made the pain flare again. Naruto's seal was still holding up, reducing the normal responses the seal had to chakra, for which he was grateful for, in more ways than one. Naruto's touch was gentler, chakra tipped fingers moving over the designs of the seal he so carefully wrought.
"It's still holding." His voice was a soft murmur, so unlike the boisterous tone Naruto usually spoke in. Sasuke, hunched over, shirt held loosely in his hands, didn't reply to that and felt the careful touch pull away. "I don't think I have to strengthen it yet, but I'll keep on looking for ways to remove that curse seal…without killing you." He moved away and Sasuke pulled the shirt back on.
"Is that it?" He asked, eyes shifting from Naruto to Tsunade, and back again. "The curse seal isn't flaring up or causing anymore of a mess of my insides?" He wasn't sure that he wanted to hear the answer, but he was an Uchiha and wasn't going to run away from some bad news.
"You’re doing a lot better than you were a year ago." Tsunade said firmly, helping him off the examination table when he wobbled slightly. "I predict that with Naruto and Sakura's help-this curse seal of yours can be beat."
Sasuke wasn't sure what to think of the hope that she offered him, wasn't sure how to take it or react to it. "Then can we go now?" He glanced outside, where the sun was drifting into early afternoon. Naruto had lost his solemn look and was practically bouncing again, looking like he was ten years old again and wanting to escape from a long day at the Academy. And this will be our Hokage…"And what does that mean in terms of my …current situation?"
"Naruto still has to turn in his final report, the guards around the estate will be lessened a little and you'll have a chance every three months to go into town like you did today." At his look of surprise, she finally gave him a smile. "Naruto can be very persuasive." Was all she said before the blond put his mask back on and practically dragged Sasuke out the door.
~
They never quite managed to get to the weapons shop, but Naruto was mumbling something about a surprise waiting for him when they got back 'home'. Sasuke smirked to himself as Naruto dragged him back to the estates. Sometimes he was really too predictable. Although…a smile tugged at his lips at how hard it must have been for him to hide this secret all this time. Naruto looked so hopeful….
Even if he didn't really care about what other people said about him, he could see how happy it made Naruto to give him this gift-to not be forever isolated and alone. To give him a second chance at regaining something he lost a long time ago. How could he explain to Naruto, though, that he didn't want it back? That he was happy where he was, with Naruto-since when did he become such an important figure in my life?
Not just because they were teammates, or the mutual understanding they shared because they were both so closely examined by the village. It could be the time they spent together at the estate, the way Naruto looked at him like he always did-I want to stay around him. Sasuke realized with a start. The days of Naruto being a nuisance and unneeded at his family's estate were gone-and he didn't realize when that happened. When he waited for Naruto to come back, when he no longer wanted to lock himself in his room and ignore the noisy blond. When Naruto's cheerful and real smiles were looked for instead of sneered at….
Sasuke gave a mental groan at the way his thoughts turned over in his head. Naruto didn't seem to notice the way he was acting, which he was grateful for. It was enough to tell Naruto that it was okay that he stuck around and he was grateful for it-but to admit to the hyperactive loudmouth that he actually wanted Naruto to be around? That he enjoyed his company and was disappointed when he got called away to have preparation lessons with Tsunade? The idiot would laugh his head off.
He followed Naruto into his home, silently sliding off his shoe sand looking at Naruto expectantly as he pulled off his mask and set it aside. "Remember how Tsunade said that you could do a whole lot more now?" He asked carefully. "And we've been skirting the rules for awhile anyhow…." He gave a nervous laugh and looked down at his hands for a moment. "I… I pulled out all your old weapons." He said with a rush.
Sasuke blinked at that. "I thought that they were confiscated and…" His eyes widened. "You got all my old weapons from there?" He asked. "Naruto…." He was grateful for the chance to have familiar weapons back in his hands-having new ones wouldn't be quite the same-but he didn't want Naruto to get into trouble for giving them to Sasuke, either.
"Tch…" Naruto grinned as he mimicked one of Sasuke's favorite sounds. "Give me some credit, will ya? It's already been cleared as long as you don't carry the weapons off the grounds." A single eyebrow rose. "Not that you do it a great deal, but-they wanted to put down more rules and restrictions…" He lowered his voice in mock-seriousness. "They've got a bunch of sticks up their asses that they just can't seem to shake loose unless they're dominating over something."
Sasuke snorted at that. "Glad to see you have such a high opinion over the people that you'll be working with." He muttered. "Glad I don't have to sit on that council. I'd probably resign within weeks." Sasuke smirked and settled on the couch, eyes half closed as he observed Naruto and waited for him to make the next move. Whether it was to knock Sasuke to the ground for the insult, or return one of his own-it would at least get him to react honestly and not hide behind the fake smile that Sasuke could see now. Naruto was still uncertain over how Sasuke would react-Considering the circumstances, I can hardly blame him. What if the situations were reversed? What if he had been the one to run off? With a chill, Sasuke knew that Naruto would have never been given the chance to redeem himself. They would have killed him immediately.
He was expecting the shove and so it didn't hurt as badly as it could have, and he opened amused eyes to look up at Naruto. "Bastard." He muttered. "But you wouldn't be you if you weren't.' Levering himself up, he smirked over at Sasuke. "Why don't we put those weapons of yours to go use?" He questioned, and Sasuke could almost hear the question in his voice, the almost undetectable pause. "You always were better than me at shuriken throwing."
Sasuke looked surprised at that-while Naruto was more inclined to admit things, he never admitted the Sasuke that he was better at something. Maybe he matured enough to admit that Sasuke had more talents in certain areas, but it was still unexpected. He found a real smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Sure, dobe. I'll teach you how to properly throw those weapons you carry around."
He remembered begging Itachi to teach him, he could close his eyes and see his older brother moving around the familiar back ways of the estate, showing him tricks that he picked up in ANBU and other places. But it never hurt to brush aside the old, painful memories for new ones-to be the one who was an example for someone. Someone that didn't need to follow in his brothers footsteps in the way he was originally going to do. He simply followed Naruto outside to the training area and set up teaching him the secrets that only the Uchiha clan knew. Maybe there was no chance of reviving the clan, but there were other ways of keeping it alive.
~
They were both exhausted afterward, laying in the disappearing sunlight next to each other. Only Naruto could drive Sasuke this hard, and he knew that it was the same for Naruto. He looked over and smirked at the flush that covered Naruto's cheeks from their sparring. He was positive that the guards around the estate knew what was going on, and if it turned deadly, they wouldn't hesitate to kill him-but he also knew the several of the guards were people that he and Naruto grew up with, and understood how they acted around each other. It's a good thing, too. He thought absently. Or else I'd have been dead a long time ago.
Naruto smirked next to him. "I still beat you." He bragged. It was more of a tie than anything else, and it had degenerated into both of them just letting out pent up emotions and steam near the end. Nothing ever really serious. Nothing ever really was serious in fighting after that last time. It was friendly sparring now, training and a test of skills. "Take that, Sasuke."
Sasuke only snorted. "Hn. Try and get up and prove it to me." He challenged. It was an empty challenge, because even if Naruto was able to get up and go for another round of sparring, Sasuke was too tired to counter any moved that Naruto made. Not that he'd admit it out loud-there was his pride to consider, after all-but he simply couldn't sum up the energy to really move, and didn't want to. It was comfortable out here, watching the shadows move across the grass, to hear Naruto's breathing beside him and the occasional grumble. They had done stuff like this in the past-very rarely and only when they were at their most tired and no one else was around-but it wasn't a common thing. I think I could get used to this. He looked over at Naruto when he sensed the blond moving.
Naruto's were folded behind his head as he looked over at Sasuke. "We've come a long way, haven't we?" He asked softly. Sasuke stared at him, not expecting the abrupt question or the echoing of his own thoughts. It was unnerving that Naruto could still do that, that he always could echo some portion of what was going through Sasuke's mind. It was something they had discussed before-but Naruto's tone had Sasuke looking at the blond more carefully, wondering what he meant by it.
He didn't have to wait long before Naruto explained himself. "I mean…look at us. Can you imagine us sitting down and talking with one another a few years ago?" He made a face. "We'd be more likely to beat each other into the ground…"
"Not that we didn't just do that." Sasuke interjected.
Naruto snorted and shoved at him weakly. "You know what I mean!" He protested. "You'd usually be mocking me for falling for some stupid trick, or I'd be calling you a bastard and accuse you of cheating…" He shook his head in amusement. "I guess you could say that we've grown up some?"
Sasuke was going to reply with his usual remark, that Naruto hadn't grown up at all-that he was still the same idiot that Sasuke knew when they were both kids. But seeing the serious expression on Naruto's face, the way those cerulean eyes darkened with thought and focused inward on unvoiced thoughts-he was suddenly struck with the realization that Naruto had grown-not just in power, in strength-but in the way that he viewed the world and how he handled it. Sasuke, for the first time, could see Naruto as Hokage. The memory of Naruto's serious expression in Tsunade's office, the way he carefully examined Sasuke…the control he used--
Naruto wasn't really waiting for an answer, but Sasuke just turned so that he could face him more clearly. "Yeah… I guess we both have." His voice was quiet. He knew that for all Naruto's loud ways and exuberant movements, the blond had always been more mature than he had been-on many levels. "Naruto…how were you able to never give up?" He asked, not sure where the question was coming from or what prompted it. He just knew that he'd been wanting to know how he managed to survive all this time, to never let hatred taint his goal.
Naruto blinked at that, sitting up in surprise. There was much more to the question than what the wording implied-it could mean a lot of things that he didn’t give up on. His goal to become Hokage, his friendship with Sasuke, the need to be acknowledged-his faith in Sasuke that he would eventually return. How his smile hardly ever wavered, even when it was just a fake one that he showed to the world. "Sasuke…" He gave an uncertain grin, unsure if Sasuke was just mumbling like he was, voicing thoughts without wanting an answer.
Sasuke sat up as well, raising an eyebrow and facing Naruto directly. He wanted an answer-some part of his demanded to know Naruto's secret. They were both the same but so opposite-there had to be something that was Naruto, something he learned or picked up over the years that allowed him to do this. "I want to know, Naruto… just… how?" He gestured around them, eyes narrowed but not angry. "You've come so much further than me… and you never lost sight of what you had planned to do from a young ago." You never decided to essentially sell your soul to the proverbial devil, even with a demon sealed inside of you. You never used that for an excuse, you never ruthlessly exploited it like I exploited my power.
"You never did, either." Came Naruto's surprising answer. "Our goals were different, but we both achieved them in the end." His grin was a little sheepish. "Well, almost. " He admitted. "I'm not Hokage yet, and I haven't 'surpassed all that came before', but I finally got it so that people see me and what I wanted to do." He tilted his head. "And you were able to avenge your family and … well… I know it sounds kind of stupid-" His voice trailed off uncertainly. "But you were also able to put yourself at peace."
Sasuke continued to stare at him, amazed at what Naruto saw in him, and barely heard the blond continuing his rambling litany of words. "And… even though.. .you lost sight for a little while-you were still Sasuke and your own code of honor and…" He blushed and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Like not actually killing me at the Valley of the End…"
"Naruto, I went to Orochimaru for that power! I killed the last member of my clan myself with the power of a curse seal still imbedded in my skin, interlaced with my chakra and you're comparing me with you? And saying how it was a good thing that I didn't kill you?" His voice rose on the last word. "If it wasn't for kyuubi…" If it wasn't for kyuubi, you'd be dead. If kyuubi didn't take charge, you would have given up and died at the bottom of that river. I would have burned all my bridges and have never come back.
Naruto waved that away. "Kyuubi was saving his own skin." He snorted. "He realized that if I died, he would die-so he did everything he could to make sure I wouldn't get killed-and that nearly killed you." He said bluntly. "He shoved me aside and basically took over." They had never really discussed what went on that day---wounds were still too fresh only a few weeks ago, feelings and accusations that built up over the years and their time apart unsaid. His eyes were faintly pained. "That was after you slammed my head into the ground…" He rolled his eyes. "You always were dramatic."
Sasuke snorted and relaxed against one of the training dummies, absently yanking out a smaller shuriken that he forgot to remove earlier. He was relieved that Naruto was able to play it off, treat it like another 'fight' they had, like the sparring they had today. "I had to get my point across somehow." He muttered. "You weren't going to listen to reason, so I had to do something to get it through that thick skull of yours." His hand reached out and grabbed Naruto's tightly. He didn't want to have dreams again of Naruto dying alone. "I'm glad it was that thick, though."
Naruto squeezed his hand briefly before releasing it. "Yeah, me too." He said softly. "But to answer your earlier question-" He raised an eyebrow. "I had nothing my entire life but my goals, Sasuke. No friends, admirers, parents or siblings. No one to look at me, no one to see what I was doing-and then…" He grinned. "I was accepted into the Academy. I made it my goal to e the best shinobi there was, so that people could respect me, even if they didn't like me." His tone was still upbeat and cheerful-still a real cheerful and not his false image.
Sasuke offered his own response to it, and had a feeling this would be an 'exchange information' session that both of them had always done in silent understanding, but never voiced until now. "My brother graduated from the Academy the same age I was accepted." His voice was devoid of all emotion. Unlike Naruto, anything mentioning his brother still brought him pain-even though Sasuke was the one to end his life. "My entire family looked at him, saw him in me-compared me to him and wanted me to be just like him. I admired him, too. I needed Itachi to notice me, to see me as strong enough to teach and spar with-" He swallowed. Later that obsession twisted.
"I saw you all the time." Naruto continued as if Sasuke hadn't spoken, but his eyes were trained on the other boy. "I saw how good you were with your taijutsu, how everyone clustered around you and called out your name. You were focused on training, even then-but you noticed how other people saw you. You enjoyed their attention, you performed for them-" There was a short, almost pained, laugh. "You never noticed me-because no one else did, but I still looked up to you. I wanted to be as good as you-I wanted to have the same looks directed towards me that you got." He stared down at his hands. "I don't think you saw me until you understood what it was like to be alone."
"I saw you before then." Sasuke picked up the train of conversation, but frowned at Naruto for thinking him to be such a shallow person. Well, you were as a kid. "I wondered about you and thought you were an idiot, but I saw you. I knew that you were accepted into the Academy at a young ago, like my brother. That if you hadn't failed all those times…" Here, a smirk. "Then you would be graduated at the same age I started." His fists clenched at that. "I couldn't understand how you could… could just throw that chance away. Then I wondered how no one saw what you could do."
"It wasn't like I did it on purpose!" Energy returned, Naruto stood up and paced back and forth, a slight frown on his face. "I didn't realize the problem until years later, when Ero-sennin told me about how my chakra works in relation to kyuubi's." He looked over at Sasuke. "I guess the best way to describe it is like when we first looked to walk on trees. We both had so much chakra that it kicked our asses. It was like that for me… I had too much that it unbalanced me." He didn’t stop his pacing, just clenched one hand at his side. "Sucks, huh?" He asked dryly. "I had so much potential where I could do a ton of kick ass jutsu-including rasengan at the age of twelve-but ai couldn't do a lousy bunshin to graduate."
Sasuke shrugged at that, but accepted the explanation. It had been a shock when he found the amount of chakra that Naruto had sleeping beneath the surface, most of it untapped but still laying in wait for him. It hurt worse that Orochimaru was the one to taunt him with the knowledge, mocking him for never picking up on it before. That Naruto never told him the truth about what he held inside of him, never trusted to tell him about the secret that was the cause of all the animosity directed towards him growing up. But you never told him about the curse seal, so I guess fair's fair.
"I didn't know that then-but after Itachi…killed my family…" His eyes flicked over to the section of the estate that Naruto never went to. "I noticed you more. You started making faces at me and never fawned over me. I kept an eye on you, but you never changed. You were as stupid as ever-always so stupid." He sighed. "But driven like I was. Only your goal was healthier-not to kill off the one remaining member of your clan because he took care of everyone else." He clenched his fist lightly. "He saw me as too weak, that I wasn't even worth his time to kill like everyone else in the clan. I couldn't stand being on the bottom!"
"When you start at the bottom, there is only the top to climb to." Naruto grinned. "And I'll continue to climbing until I reach what I I've always wanted." He suddenly grabbed Sasuke's arm and hauled him to his feet. "And you, too." He said firmly. "You were never meant to crawl on the ground, Sasuke. You're way too smart for that and it'd suck to have a rival that thought that way." Sasuke gave him a dazed look at the way Naruto turned the conversation around, how easily he read what was going through his head. "No more of this depressing shit." Naruto declared. "Onto better stuff." As if on cue, his stomach growled. "Like dinner."
The shadows of dusk had nearly overtaken the sunlight, but Naruto's blue eyes still stood out, blond hair surrounding a tan face with white teeth bared in a grin. Naruto was meant to stand out, meant to be seen. Even in Sasuke's darkest times and memories-Naruto's image always stood in some bright part of his mind. Knowing that Naruto would be there, hoping and praying that he would still be there when -if-Sasuke ever returned to Konoha was the only thing that kept him going after Itachi's body lay at his feet. "Aa… let's get some food. And no ramen!" He ordered. "It's my turn to cook tonight and it's going to be little more filling."
Naruto gave a token protest, but bounced beside Sasuke as they walked into the house together, hands not quite touching but occasionally brushing against each other. It had become routine to have dinner together-well, to take turns at least-ever since Sasuke shared his meal with Naruto that one time. Naruto could occasionally cook more than ramen, but the menu was still rather plain and unvaried, and Sasuke took his night seriously to feed the blond something more substantial and healthier than the glutinous noodles. He had a feeling Naruto rather liked being cooked a meal, basking in the feeling of having someone do something for him, even if he never asked for it and never would admit to it.
As for Sasuke, it was like having a family again, albeit just as weird and fucked up as his last one-but nicer in a way. Someone that understood him and how he acted, someone he could bicker with and who would see him-to spar with and kick his ass (and occasionally get his own ass kicked). As he pulled out the ingredients for katsudon and shoved Naruto to the side before he caused damage, he couldn't help but feeling something inside of him relax. Naruto grumbled and fished out the rest of the stuff they needed from the fridge, but there wasn't anything really annoyed in the grumbling.
Sasuke turned to give him a faint smile, expression more open than he let anyone see, even Naruto. He realized and admitted to himself how much he wanted to keep the blond beside him, even after the sentence was lifted. He didn’t want to think about him wandering around the empty hallways again, with only ghosts to keep him company. He would find some way to tell Naruto that, but now wasn't the time to impart that to him. They'd always have time in the future.
~
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