Katarina
This is more for my reference but please comment if you have any thoughts. Comments are always welcome. :)
There are two issues about Katatrina that have been bugging me lately. The more I think about it the more they are related than I previously thought.
Katarina is most definitely a tomboy. She probably has been since birth but it becomes more evident daily. Now her behaviors are not extreme by any means but she is definitely a tomboy and not a girly girl. She refuses to wear skirts and dresses and would much rather play outside with her brother's tractor and climb trees than brush her dolls hair or play dress up. For the most part this is fine with me. It is what makes Katarina who she is. Spunky, alive, creative, funny and independant. The not wanting to wear skirts and dresses has bugged me but I know I just need to stop buying them. The skorts don't even work, she refuses. So I now have a closet full of skirts, skorts and dresses that barely, if ever, get worn.
The other issue is her inability to focus in school. Now I know it is only kindergarten but I observed this last year in preschool. She is very bright, she has always been a little ahead of the curve but she just doesn't seem to apply herself. Last week I was volunteering in her class and spoke with the teacher while the kids went to lunch. Her teacher said "You know Katarina is very smart but..." I replied, "she's lazy". Her teacher and I spoke at length on Katarina's lack of motivation in school. The teacher told me that the first few weeks she though she didn't know her letters, numbers, could not read, write etc. By the end of the 2nd week she heard Katarina over in the corner of the reading center reading to her classmates. Mrs. Cook walked a little closer and realized that Katarina wasn't telling the story but actually reading. She then sat down with her and realized that not only could she read at a first grade level but also write sentences, albeit, mispelled. Mrs. Cook was shocked because previously when she had worked with her one on one she claimed she couldn't do it, etc. This is how she is at home. I read with her for 20 minutes every day. Some days are better than others but it is normally a battle of her claiming she doesn't even know the letter let alone the sound. Site words that I know she knows she will stare blankly at and say "I don't know". Then she will go to the playroom grab a book and read it aloud for Leo. Sure she has memorized a lot of books since she was 3 but a lot of times she will pick up a harder book or one we don't read that often and read it aloud. Drives me batty but makes me proud at the same time.
Yetserday, I started reasearching tomboy to see if I could get some insight on her. I realized while searching that the only person I need to look at is myself. I was a tomboy all through school and still am to some extent. I realize now that when I buy her dolls and dresses I am trying to recapture my youth and enjoy a part I seemingly skipped out on as a child. I would cut my dolls hair and rip them apart rather than play with them. I requested a cabbage path doll like all the other girls in seventh grade but insisted it had to be a boy so he could play with my GI Joe. What took me by surprise was the correlation between tomboys and ADD. I went undiagnosed until college when I went to the learning resource center at school at the bequest of one of my teachers. I now look back and realize that I had classic "female" symptoms of ADD and nobody ever knew. I was labeled a daydreamer, ditz, disorganized, and never living up to my potential. Every time my parents would go to a teacher conference they would come back with the same report. "Larissa is very bright but she is not working to her potential". "If she would just apply herself, she would be a much better student". I was put in the remedial reading class in 2nd grade. My teacher though I didn't know how to read. What she didn't realize was that what she was asking me to read was boring to me. Who wants to read "Hop on Pop" when I could read the word "Constantinople". I finally broke out of the label as learning disabled by fourth grade and was in all the accellerated classes by 5th making honors in high school. I don't want Katarina to go though life the way I did as being called an "under achiever", "daydreamer" and "lazy".
I mentioned this to Manny and he thinks I am out in left field and Katarina does not have ADD. Did I mention they think it is genetic? Remember when I found my adoption papers a few months back? From everything listed about my father it sounds like he had ADD or ADHD. Hmmm, think it runs in the family? I just don't know who to talk to. Her teacher or her pediatrician? Should I just hold back and see where she is a year from now? She's acting up in class, not a lot but enough to raise eyebrows. Last week we had a note that said she pulled her pants half way down in the lunchroom. I read that and images of my own stupid behavior in elementary school came flooding back. I overcompensated for my disorganized brain by goofing off. If no one could see I was smart I would at least make them laugh. I just want to cry because I struggled so much and I don't know how to talk to her and help her so she doesn't struggle as well. Manny thinks I am just projecting my own childhood drama on her and that she is fine. He thinks ADD, is over diagnosed these day, and I agree but it it definitely underdiagnosed in females beacuse they lack the hyperactivity seen in boys. Although, both myself and Katarina have a lot of energy!
There are two issues about Katatrina that have been bugging me lately. The more I think about it the more they are related than I previously thought.
Katarina is most definitely a tomboy. She probably has been since birth but it becomes more evident daily. Now her behaviors are not extreme by any means but she is definitely a tomboy and not a girly girl. She refuses to wear skirts and dresses and would much rather play outside with her brother's tractor and climb trees than brush her dolls hair or play dress up. For the most part this is fine with me. It is what makes Katarina who she is. Spunky, alive, creative, funny and independant. The not wanting to wear skirts and dresses has bugged me but I know I just need to stop buying them. The skorts don't even work, she refuses. So I now have a closet full of skirts, skorts and dresses that barely, if ever, get worn.
The other issue is her inability to focus in school. Now I know it is only kindergarten but I observed this last year in preschool. She is very bright, she has always been a little ahead of the curve but she just doesn't seem to apply herself. Last week I was volunteering in her class and spoke with the teacher while the kids went to lunch. Her teacher said "You know Katarina is very smart but..." I replied, "she's lazy". Her teacher and I spoke at length on Katarina's lack of motivation in school. The teacher told me that the first few weeks she though she didn't know her letters, numbers, could not read, write etc. By the end of the 2nd week she heard Katarina over in the corner of the reading center reading to her classmates. Mrs. Cook walked a little closer and realized that Katarina wasn't telling the story but actually reading. She then sat down with her and realized that not only could she read at a first grade level but also write sentences, albeit, mispelled. Mrs. Cook was shocked because previously when she had worked with her one on one she claimed she couldn't do it, etc. This is how she is at home. I read with her for 20 minutes every day. Some days are better than others but it is normally a battle of her claiming she doesn't even know the letter let alone the sound. Site words that I know she knows she will stare blankly at and say "I don't know". Then she will go to the playroom grab a book and read it aloud for Leo. Sure she has memorized a lot of books since she was 3 but a lot of times she will pick up a harder book or one we don't read that often and read it aloud. Drives me batty but makes me proud at the same time.
Yetserday, I started reasearching tomboy to see if I could get some insight on her. I realized while searching that the only person I need to look at is myself. I was a tomboy all through school and still am to some extent. I realize now that when I buy her dolls and dresses I am trying to recapture my youth and enjoy a part I seemingly skipped out on as a child. I would cut my dolls hair and rip them apart rather than play with them. I requested a cabbage path doll like all the other girls in seventh grade but insisted it had to be a boy so he could play with my GI Joe. What took me by surprise was the correlation between tomboys and ADD. I went undiagnosed until college when I went to the learning resource center at school at the bequest of one of my teachers. I now look back and realize that I had classic "female" symptoms of ADD and nobody ever knew. I was labeled a daydreamer, ditz, disorganized, and never living up to my potential. Every time my parents would go to a teacher conference they would come back with the same report. "Larissa is very bright but she is not working to her potential". "If she would just apply herself, she would be a much better student". I was put in the remedial reading class in 2nd grade. My teacher though I didn't know how to read. What she didn't realize was that what she was asking me to read was boring to me. Who wants to read "Hop on Pop" when I could read the word "Constantinople". I finally broke out of the label as learning disabled by fourth grade and was in all the accellerated classes by 5th making honors in high school. I don't want Katarina to go though life the way I did as being called an "under achiever", "daydreamer" and "lazy".
I mentioned this to Manny and he thinks I am out in left field and Katarina does not have ADD. Did I mention they think it is genetic? Remember when I found my adoption papers a few months back? From everything listed about my father it sounds like he had ADD or ADHD. Hmmm, think it runs in the family? I just don't know who to talk to. Her teacher or her pediatrician? Should I just hold back and see where she is a year from now? She's acting up in class, not a lot but enough to raise eyebrows. Last week we had a note that said she pulled her pants half way down in the lunchroom. I read that and images of my own stupid behavior in elementary school came flooding back. I overcompensated for my disorganized brain by goofing off. If no one could see I was smart I would at least make them laugh. I just want to cry because I struggled so much and I don't know how to talk to her and help her so she doesn't struggle as well. Manny thinks I am just projecting my own childhood drama on her and that she is fine. He thinks ADD, is over diagnosed these day, and I agree but it it definitely underdiagnosed in females beacuse they lack the hyperactivity seen in boys. Although, both myself and Katarina have a lot of energy!