Honesty
As always, click here for Master List of Fics.Title: Honesty
Characters: Sebastian Vettel, Mark Webber
Rating: Blue Flag
Summary: The feeling at Red Bull isn’t the same this year. When Seb runs into Mark at the track, they take the opportunity to catch up.
Disclaimer: I made this up, as usual.
A/N: Written for a prompt on motorskink. Unbeta'd because I wanna go to bed now.
So white, he wonders, sipping on the straw of his drink. How can it be so white? His legs dangle off the counter as he continues to watch his teammate blind the whole garage crew with his shinny white smile.
“Must be a nice change from Mark,” Antti says, leaning in to avoid curious ears. “Finally someone who is happy.”
“Yeah,” Seb answers, hopping down the counter to get in his car and get his mind back on racing. It’s only the second race but Seb is already feeling the season slip away from him. Sitting here, in his car, waiting for his turn to go put in a qualifying lap, he looks around. The team that used to be his has changed. He feels in the shadows, forgotten in the corner while Daniel is their new shining star, the wonder boy who is always smiling, always polite, never says or does anything wrong. PR loves Daniel. Seb, on the other hand, they tolerate because he still brings in the results, even this year, with a car that is struggling compared to Mercedes and Ferrari. There’s no competitiveness between the two sides of the garage, like there used to be when his team and Mark’s team fought for the top step.
Qualifying and the race go well, great even. Yet he’s in no mood to celebrate and prefers to make his way back to his hotel room, winding between motorhomes to avoid journalists and photographers.
“Mark,” Seb says, surprised to find himself face to face with his ex-teammate, almost running straight into him. Seb didn’t even know Mark was here this weekend. “You uhm, you look good. Happy I mean.”
Mark smiles at him, and it feels like someone is squeezing his heart inside his chest. “Thanks. I’d say the same, but well, you don’t exactly look your best.”
Seb looks down at his shoes, hands in his pockets. He has no reason to feel this way, he just won the race, he should feel on top of the world, but today just felt wrong. Daniel had been so happy for him when they saw each other back at the garage. Congratulating him, praising him, worshiping him almost and god it’s getting annoying. It isn’t what he needs. He needs a rival, someone who can push his limits, push him beyond what he thinks he’s capable of doing. He needs someone who will acknowledge his success, but dare him to do better, taunt him and provoke him. He needs, well he needs someone like Mark.
“You okay, Seb?” Mark asks, a hand on his shoulder.
Seb swallows, wanting nothing more but to burry himself in Mark’s arms, but instead he smiles and nods. “Yeah, just a long weekend.”
“Wanna grab an ice cream? Catch up?” Mark asks him, and although Seb had every intention to go straight back to his hotel room alone and go to sleep, he can’t help but be touched that Mark knows him well enough not to offer a drink or a coffee, to remember that ice cream is his best comfort.
“I have some in my room, if you’re okay with vanilla flavour.”
“Vanilla’s fine,” Mark says with an easy smile, and Seb realises how long it’s been since Mark looked this relaxed.
Seb drives them both to his hotel in silence, the purr of the car’s engine soothing him more than any radio song could. Once in his room, Seb grabs the ice cream from the freezer and tosses it to Mark while he looks for spoons.
“I only have one spoon,” he eventually says as he opens a few drawers to see if there might be another one around.
“We can share,” Mark says and quickly grabs the spoon from his hands, pulling the cover off the tub of ice cream and digging in to get a large scoop.
Seb plops down on the bed next to Mark, opening his mouth wide. Mark gives him a small smirk before digging in the ice cream again and feeding it to Seb. “So what’s going on with you? You should be happier, you’re still number one.”
Seb lets the ice cream melt in his mouth, savouring the sweet taste of it before he steals the spoon from Mark’s mouth. “It’s not the same without you.” His own honesty surprises him, but it seems easier to talk now they don’t work together anymore. He doesn’t have to be afraid that what he says will be used against him, not that Mark ever did that, only implied he would. Mind games, all of it, like the rest of Formula One. Seb is tiring of it, and Daniel’s unrelenting perkiness is only making it worse.
“Dan’s a good guy, you two not getting along?” Mark asks as if reading his mind.
“He doesn’t push me like you did. The team isn’t the same either,” Seb says, giving one last mouthful of ice cream to Mark before closing the container and putting it away. “There’s no competition anymore, just one big happy family.”
Seb crawls back on the bed crossing his arms behind his head. Mark moves on the bed until he’s sitting facing him. “And that’s bad because?”
Seb sighs. “It’s not. But it’s not the same. I miss our teams trying to outdo each other, working late at night to get everything right, sending Christian expensive whiskey to bribe him for new parts.”
“Whiskey? You bribed Christian with whiskey?” Mark says, arms crossed on his chest.
Seb sits up, suddenly afraid it was a practice only he engaged in, which wouldn’t have been fair. “Yeah, the one he always went on about. Didn’t you?”
Mark frowns. “Of course not. I thought he liked gin. No wonder you always had the new parts first.”
Seb laughs with relief and Mark returns the laughter, bright eyes lighting up his whole face. “I miss you,” Seb admits when the laughter dies down. Mark doesn’t answer, the silence excruciating as they look at each other, Mark’s hazel eyes forcing their way in his soul. Seb moves his hand towards Mark’s, agonizingly slowly, so slow he’s not even sure he’s moving until there’s contact and he feels the warmth of Mark’s fingers against his. Mark’s gaze doesn’t falter, but his lips part slightly, his breath quickening. Seb moves his fingers a bit more, layering them partially on top of Mark’s. He stops then, scared to go too far, to ruin an evening they’ve both been enjoying. He doesn’t want to go back to the cold awkwardness they endured last year.
Mark’s parted lips turn upwards just as Seb feels Mark’s fingers link with his. He lowers his head, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks, and he bites down on his lower lip, squeezing Mark’s hand. The butterflies in his stomach are unbearable, after all these years of keeping his feelings in check, of denying what he felt, the only thing he wants is to let those butterflies loose. He brings his mouth to Mark’s, pressing their lips together but not daring to move them, barely brave enough to breathe. He waits for the moment when Mark will start moving his lips to kiss him, but instead Mark pulls away.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Mark asks, his hands now folded neatly on his lap, so distant.
Seb doesn’t know how to respond. He can’t tell him that he’s wanted this since their first season as team mates, wanted this through on track battles and off track arguments, through summer breaks and winter testing. He’s wanted Mark for so long, and just now, he thought Mark felt the same.
“Seb?” Mark asks, head cocked slightly to the side. “Is this what you really want?”
Seb makes to get off the bed. “Forget it, it doesn’t matter,” he sighs as Mark’s hand stops him for getting any farther.
“It sure as hell matters,” Mark says, cupping his face with both hands and kissing him, just one long kiss before he pulls away again. “It matters, because if we start this, I want all of you.”
Seb is at a loss for words, his open mouth probably making him look like a fish out of water, but he doesn’t care. Mark just kissed him. Mark wants him. All of him.
“I want this,” Seb manages to say, “I want you.”
Mark nods then guides Seb down on his back as they kiss. Mark’s weight on top of him is heavier than he expected, but Mark is careful, resting most of it on his own legs. Seb pulls Mark close to him, holding on to his shirt as they kiss, not wanting to let go and only breaking their embrace when a shirt or pair of pants has to be taken off.
When there’s no more clothing to cling to, Seb lets his hands wander over Mark’s body. It’s stronger than he remembers, bigger now that Mark doesn’t have to worry about weight limits, and it suits him. In someone else’s arms he might have felt small and fragile, but Mark knows he’s not and he doesn’t hold back when he thrusts into him or holds his wrists above his head. They’re a mingle of sweaty limbs and wet mouths, not a molecule of air between them.
“Seb…”
His name being moaned sends tingles through his spine. He wants nothing more than what he has right now: Mark’s body linked with his, an extension of each other, Mark’s tongue licking at his neck, sucking sensually near his Adam’s apple. His breath catches with every one of Mark’s thrusts until there’s no more air to be had and his body shakes as he comes, his fingers pressing hard into Mark’s skin as he yells out a few curses in pleasure.
Mark comes shortly after, and Seb decides he likes that look on Mark, the way he frowns and his mouth forms a perfect O. He decides he likes it a lot and he wants to see it more often. So he makes sure he does, twice again that night until Mark eventually tells him to go to sleep. Seb agrees, but only because they’re out of condoms, and falls asleep in no time.
In the morning when he wakes up, he’s surprised that Mark is still there, sleeping soundly on his stomach, the bed sheet barely covering his arse. He places kisses on the expanse of Mark’s back as he stirs awake under his touch.
“I have to get ready to catch my flight,” Seb says quietly as an apology.
Mark rolls over on his back, not bothering to cover himself when the sheet falls to the side. “Good morning to you too,” he yawns, stretching his arms wide before sitting up. Seb feels his spirits drop when he realises that he could have had this years ago. “Well aren’t you just a ball of sunshine in the morning,” Mark says as he gets up from the bed, seeing what Seb is feeling.
Seb watches him gather the clothes scattered on the floor, sorting them apart. “This is it, yeah? Just the once?”
Mark looks up from the pile in his arms, dumping it on the bed and sitting back down next to Seb. “It doesn’t have to be. How about a date when we’re both back in Europe?”
“A date?” Seb asks. He hadn’t expected that kind of offer from Mark.
“Yeah mate, a date. The thing two people do when they’re trying to figure out if they can stand each other.”
“We were teammates,” Seb reminds him. Surely being teammates was worth more than dating ever could.
“Fine,” Mark says, giving Seb a shove before he gets up again. “If you don’t want me to buy you dinner you can just say so.”
Seb wraps his arms around Mark. “A date sounds great,” he quickly says before Mark takes back his offer.
On the flight back from Malaysia, Seb can’t help but grin the whole time, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Antti. “Looks like Dan’s cheeriness is spreading,” he says, elbowing him teasingly.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Seb answers, his smile widening even further, not feeling the need to explain the real source of his happiness.
.